Should We Even Have Goals? Seven Lessons Learned From Achieving My Biggest Dreams

January 2024 marks ten years that I’ve been in business. It was in Spring 2014 that I finished my coaching certification, launched my first group coaching program for women, expanded my yoga teaching business and began seeing clients one on one.

In my coaching school we were asked to identify our five “Big Rocks” that we would want to accomplish in this life. Big rocks are the things we know we want to experience before we die, those big meaningful life moments that we’d like to call in. 

The idea was, if we could prioritize our “Big Rocks” and put them in a jar, symbolizing our life - then all the “to-do’s” or little pebbles and sand of life would be able to fit in around the edges of those big rocks.  If instead we never clarify what our big rocks are, life will probably be filled up by the little sand and pebbles (doing the laundry, answering emails and doing the dishes) and we may never be able to fit in those big rocks into our jar of life.  

So I sat down, reflected and meditated on what my 5 big rocks would be in this life.  

Here’s what I wrote: 

1. Write and publish a book 

2. Lead an international retreat

3. Marry my beloved and plan a beautiful ceremony 

4. Experience giving birth and having a child 

5. Experience owning a home 

I do feel proud to say that on the exact same month, ten years after writing this list, those goals were all fulfilled. 

I prioritized writing and publishing my book first and foremost as I had already started writing it, and the serendipity of meeting a woman on a retreat who was about to publish her first book - connected me to the editor and publisher, She Writes Press, that I went on to work with. Just Be was published in August 2017.

I led my first international retreat in Bali in 2016, and my second in Italy in 2018. 

My beloved and I planned our wedding and were married in September of 2018. 

I gave birth to my daughter at home in Boulder, CO in Spring of 2022.

My family and I moved to the first home we now own just two weeks ago. (!)

It took ten years almost to the day for all of these goals to come to fruition. Which reminds of a quote I once heard Tony Robbins speak, “People usually overestimate what we can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten.”

But I must add: NONE of these goals turned out the way I thought they would look.

What I’ve discovered is that being in the mission of achieving these goals, most definitely brought me quite challenging life lessons I needed to learn in order to grow. 

Sometimes that’s the only point of having a goal - to grow. 

Because so often when a goal is achieved, it usually feels good for a little while, until we realize it’s like everything else in life - both good and difficult in different ways. 

It got me thinking about goals in general, as right now I don’t have any desire to write new goals or resolutions like so many are doing at the start of the year. I simply want some time to live in the moment, breathe, spend time with my daughter, be in appreciation, focus on improving my health, and helping others as much as I can.

So here’s what I’m learning about goals after achieving some of my biggest dreams over the last ten years: 

1. Achieving a goal does not equal happiness

Like I mentioned before, there’s often a fleeting happiness that comes when we achieve a goal, followed by a slump, remembering we still are who we are. Sometimes we think achieving a goal will lead to happiness “If only I was married I’d be happy, if only I had a bigger house, or lived in a different place, then I’d be happy” but it’s often not true. Happiness is more of a state of being, an attitude about life that I find comes much more from spiritual progress, being able to face challenge and hardship with equanimity, and finding something to live for, a deeper meaning to why we have incarnated at this time, and how we want to show up to be of service to others. 

2. Achieving a goal is often uncomfortable and invites us to step way outside of our comfort zone 

There was an incredible amount of vulnerability I navigated sharing the stories of my book with so many people. There was even more vulnerability launching a kickstarter campaign that raised $10,000 and got the word out to share this dream with the world. I also felt super vulnerable after having a big wedding, leading a retreat, giving birth and buying a house… Fear is going to be present anytime we are stepping outside of our comfort zone, and setting a goal is a pretty sure way to invite that. Now, navigating vulnerability and fear is not a bad thing, it’s a wonderful opportunity to grow, but it can be unsettling for our nervous systems and if we were expecting a goal to make us feel amazing, it might actually do the opposite, at least in the short term.  Being realistic about this and finding ways to come back to balance after a big expansion is a good idea!

3. A goal leads us to our growth, whether or not we achieve that goal 

There were so many lessons I learned by setting these goals. I became a better writer, I grew exponentially and expanded my compassion through my relationship, and becoming a mother. I learned so much about financial accounting, taxes, interest rates, and loans through the journey of buying a house, and the same goes for leading a retreat. I believe our desires and goals are often "soul callings" - a direction for us to head in to lead us to our highest growth, whether or not we end up achieving the goal. Often the lessons learned are much more valuable than whether or not we made the outcome we were wanting.

4. Achieving a goal is not always going to look the way we thought it would 

None of the goals I achieved turned out the way I thought they would! I had a completely different title and cover for my book when I set out to publish it. Leading an international retreat was a ton of work, many months of marketing and so many details to tend to, as well as a lot to hold by myself in a country that was unfamiliar to me, I left feeling depleted! Early motherhood and living through the reality of sleep deprivation, having zero time and the high costs of childcare were also pretty unexpected. The city and neighborhood where we chose to buy a house as well as the look and feel of the home were completely different than what I imagined when I first set this goal. If we can be flexible with our goals, and not become attached to the outcome, and what it needs to look like, we will be much better off and be able to enjoy the journey.

5. There will be times in life where we have goals and times in life where we don’t

Sometimes having a goal is just what I need to call upon my inner strength and motivation, and sometimes what I need is to let go of having goals altogether and just be in the present moment.

Neither is better than the other, they are just different phases of life, times when we need a different energy to grow. Something I love about the Priestess program I lead is that so much of the program is about embodiment, surrender, and being, rather than making life look any certain way or have any certain outcome. And on the other hand, sometimes I work with clients who have a very specific goal (maybe it’s to get out of debt, or publish a book, or heal their relationship to a specific person). I trust that those are just as important for what their soul is needing to grow.

6. Timelines are always shifting, and our goals may change before we achieve them

Our interests, desires, and passions may change as well, so we don’t have to be “married” to our goals. It’s good to be loose and open around them and allow room for change if we realize we want to go in a different direction. I believe every choice we make in life opens a multitude of new possibilities for the direction of our life, and there may be something we are not able to see right now, until we take the next step that is in front of us.

7. Patience and letting go is often key in achieving a goal 

It was a huge and necessary part of becoming a mother for me (My husband was not sure he wanted children, even when we decided to marry). We decided to marry after being together for five years, and there was a lot of growth and letting go needed before the potential of a wedding became a reality.  I also tried and let go for many years to buy a house until we reached a level of maturity and "ripeness" when we finally knew where we wanted to be and it felt like there was wind at our back to make it all happen.

So where are you at in your life? Is it a time of setting goals and growing to reach them? Or is it a time of letting it all go and loving your life just the way it is? 

Feel free to leave a comment below!

With love, 

Meredith

P.S. If you feel called to work with a coach this year, to have a loving guide, witness & mentor to work with as you explore your deepest growth and soul callings, I am opening two spaces for 1:1 clients this year in my 6 month 1-1 feminine leadership coaching program. Right now I’m offering programs that range in price from $350-500 per month. 

Sign up for a free call to connect and learn more

Embracing the Fire Within: Women's Wisdom and Priestess Magic at the Summer Solstice

As the sun reaches its zenith and the day stretches into the longest embrace of warmth, we stand at the threshold of the Summer Solstice – a celestial event that marks the beginning of summer (around June 19-22) in the Northern Hemisphere.

Beyond its astronomical significance, the Summer Solstice is a powerful time for women to tap into their wisdom, celebrate their creative energies, and honor the transition from Maiden to Mother Goddess.

Inspired by the rich traditions and insights from Ruth Barrett's "Women's Rites, Women's Mysteries," this article explores the magic of the Summer Solstice, the fire element, and the profound connection between women, creativity, and fertility.

The Season of Action:

Summer, often associated with the Full Moon, beckons us to step into the world with purpose and vitality. It's a season of action, where the dreams conceived in the quietude of winter start to blossom. The Summer Solstice, the longest day of the year, symbolizes the peak of this vibrant energy. As the earth becomes fertile, the Goddess pours forth her creations – fields, trees, flowers, and animals – in a magnificent display of life.

From Maiden to Mother:

The Summer Solstice marks a sacred transition from Maiden to Mother Goddess, a reflection of the lifecycle that all women embody. Regardless of physical motherhood, every woman becomes a "mother" as she nurtures, sustains, and protects life through her endeavors, be it for the human species or other beings. This symbolic shift is a celebration of the diverse ways women manifest their creativity and fertility in the world.

Harnessing the Fire Element:

At the Summer Solstice, women work with the fire element, symbolically strengthening and forging their will in the world. The communal fires, a tradition in some cultures, bring communities together for music, dance, fire jumping, and ceremonies. The power of fire cleanses negative body images and ignites the creative spark within. Journaling becomes a tool for self-reflection, asking questions about life force energy, creative fire, and the transformative journey into the new season.

Journaling Reflections:

• Where is the fiery life force energy in my life? How is it manifesting?

• How will I feed my creative fire? What is its fuel?

• How am I a mother? How do I nurture, sustain, and protect my creations?

• What wisdom am I bringing from the spring?

• What am I leaving behind?

• Who am I becoming?

• What is awakening in me now?

• What seeds am I planting?

• What am I transforming?

• What is my intention for this new season?

Ways to Honor the Summer Solstice:

1. Jump a literal or symbolic bonfire, symbolizing the leap into a new phase.

2. Create an altar to honor Mother Goddesses worldwide, expressing creativity through hands, writing, or voice.

3. Acknowledge and celebrate women who choose not to be mothers, channeling their creativity into other impactful works.

4. Explore passion, creativity, and growth in alignment with the fire element, daring to live life according to one's values.

5. Celebrate fertility in all its forms, acknowledging the abundance and vitality of life.

6. Make love and dedicate the energy to a specific creative focus.

7. Light candles or bonfires to infuse energy and abundance into desires and aspirations.

As the sun lingers in the sky, casting its warm glow over the world, let us embrace the fire within.

The Summer Solstice invites us as women to call upon our inner Priestess, to stand in our power, celebrate our creative energies, and honor the cycles of life. By harnessing the fire element and reflecting on the profound journaling questions, this sacred time becomes an opportunity for self-discovery, transformation, and a joyous celebration of the divine feminine.

New Year Wisdom: Go at Your Own Pace

Do you ever get caught up looking at someone who is ahead of you?

Maybe they have more followers, or are making more money, or have more experience, or wisdom. Or maybe they have children when you're hoping to start a family, or a partner when you're ready to meet someone.

It's very human, the desire to not be left behind.

We want to feel connected, and we want to keep pace with those around us.

So, we start speeding up.

Often we start moving at a pace that is unnatural to us, trying to direct our lives where we want them to go.

The problem is when we do that, we miss out on the beauty and lessons we are meant to receive on the path at the pace right where we are at.

Our nervous system has a hard time adjusting to this new pace. Our heart beats faster, it can begin to feel unnatural, and constrictive.

Or maybe we notice we are expanding at a rate that IS natural for us, and we see someone we love moving at a different pace and we want to slow ourselves down to meet them.

It's important here to recognize, and ask, "Am I changing my pace form a place of love, to enjoy deeper connection?"

or "Am I slowing down out of a sense of obligation? Am I limiting myself from my fullest expression?"

I realize now I would never want to hold someone back from the fullness of their expression, and the beauty of finding their own natural pace.

My new goal is to find peace in life exactly as it is. To move at a pace that is natural for me. To celebrate others at the pace they are at, without it needing to reflect anything about me or where I'm at.

Growing up I was the youngest in my family and when we went on hikes I often had a fear of being left behind.

I recently realized I was living a lot of my life at a pace that was unnatural for me, simply out of that fear. (It especially came up when I went on hikes with someone who walked faster than me!)

When I sat to investigate the feeling underneath, it was a fear of being alone.

And I was able to remind myself that aloneness isn't a scary thing.

It's actually much more painful and difficult to leave myself than to keep up with others out of the fear of being alone.

One of my favorite quotes is, "Loneliness is the absence of the other. Aloneness is the presence of one's self." ~ Osho

When we trust in life, in ourselves and our path, we meet the lessons we are meant to learn at the right time.

When we surrender to walking at our own pace, life becomes an art. We have time and space to receive the lessons, the beauty and the joy.

2020 gave me the gift of slowing down, and finding my own pace.

Sheltering-in-place gave me the opportunity to simply be on the land, connect more with the garden, the neighbors, and the quiet whispers of my heart.

As we step into the New Year I invite you to consider:

Where have I been moving at someone else's pace?

Where have I been afraid of being left behind?

Where have I limited myself out of a fear of leaving someone else behind?

Our souls all have a journey to walk and a pace that is perfect for us.

When we develop comfort and peace in the natural unfolding, we learn it's ok to be left behind. It's also ok to expand more quickly than those around us.

We learn to stop leaving ourselves, and the path we are meant to walk.

This year, may we find our own natural pace.

May we find peace in seeing the people who are ahead of us.

May we celebrate the fullness of their expression.

May we cultivate compassion for those who are at a different place on their path.

and may we live into the fullness of the exact right pace we are meant to walk.

With love,

Meredith

My Journey with the Dark Goddess

Blessings to you on this Scorpio New Moon!

This is a time to honor the depths of our emotions, to go far into the dark places, crawling low to the ground like the Scorpion, seeing our challenges with a higher perspective like the Eagle, and allowing new life to emerge from the ashes like the Phoenix.

With the recent holiday of Samhain and the days getting shorter, it's also a time to acknowledge and honor the dark side of the feminine, the Dark Goddess.

The Dark Goddess is embodied in many forms - Kali Ma, the Wild Woman, the Crone, Hecate, Pele... to name a few.

Up until one year ago I was pretty afraid and cautious when it came to the Dark Goddess.

My friend would sometimes sing songs to Kali and I would always think, "Be careful what you ask for!!"and I would choose not to sing with her.

Sure enough over the next month after she was singing those songs I watched as her life began to dismantle - first it was the job, then the boyfriend, then the home. All falling apart within a matter of days.

And yet, as I saw it happening from the outside, I knew it was for the highest good.

I knew those things were no longer serving her, and it was in her willingness to let the Dark Goddess into her life that they were able to burn away.

Within days of her life dismantling, new opportunities emerged from the darkness: she was offered a dream job position where she could work remotely and was able to spend the winter traveling to beautiful, tropical faraway places.

As I watched this happen, and saw how her life came into deeper and deeper alignment with her truth, I began to see at her core, the Dark Goddess was truly just another aspect of Love.

Yes she is fierce. Yes she may catalyze pain. Yes she may cut away the things that make us feel safe and comfortable.

But it is only for the highest good. It is only to help us ascend and evolve into deeper levels of alignment with our truth.

It was then I chose to stop holding the Dark Goddess at arms length. For the first time in my life, I let her in.

When the fires in Sonoma County happened, I participated in a ritual where I crossed a threshold and consciously chose to let whatever was out of alignment in my life to burn away.

Knowing I could risk giving up my relationship, my home, my work - all the things that made me feel safe. I was willing to offer it all up to come into deeper alignment with my truth.

In the next month I decided to go off all social media, and I even shut down my website while I allowed myself time to be born anew.

I went to India for a month by myself during this time, attended a week-long Kali Ma yoga retreat, and woke up before 5 am everyday to sing in the Kali temple.

What ensued was not pretty - I got sick, had a terrible sore throat, was having old memories come up where I didn't honor my boundaries, and on top of that I was assigned seva to work at the ashram's garbage and recycling center.

I was literally and figuratively knee deep in trash.

I had just finished a training to become an EFT practitioner - and found myself tapping in the corner of the temple most mornings while I cleared old memories and past hurts that were rising to the surface.

And something else happened while I was there - I started feeling my rage.

Rage for the times I didn't honor my boundaries, rage for seeing all the trash we were creating in the west and how we were hurting our Mother Earth, rage for the sickness and sore throats I was continually having.

I began expressing that rage in healthy ways. I remember having one night where I sat fuming in front of the Kali Ma statue in her temple breathing heavily, allowing the intense sensations to overtake me.

I went up to my room, made sounds, yelled, let the wild woman fully inhabit my body. I felt the intense power of the Dark Goddess move through me.

And as the new year dawned, my health improved, and I began feeling more settled. I attended a women's circle on my last day at the ashram, and what I experienced there was pure bliss.

The sweetest, softest, most inviting and loving space.

I left that circle euphoric, and realized, because I was holding Kali Ma at arm's distance, I was not able to fully experience to softer side of the Divine Feminine. The sweetness. The love. As soon as I let in her fierceness, I also let in the most nurturing qualities of the feminine into my life.

I learned that life really is this constant dance of duality, and when we fully invite in our pain, our discomfort, our willingness to go into the shadows, we also invite the sweetest, most pure forms of love.

The Dark Goddess is here to help us. To love us. And if we are willing to let her in, there are so many gifts she will grant us:

The Dark Goddess helped me set strong boundaries, stand up for what I believe in, say yes to my power, release my shame, shine my light brighter, and helped me let go of caring what other people were thinking of me.

These are just a few of the gifts the Dark Goddess can give to us when we let her into our life.

If you are in the depths of your own transformation (and transformation is usually not easy or pretty), know that this is all part of it, a powerful cycle, leading you to a new emergence. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

When you allow it all to fall apart, to let the pain or the grief overtake you, to go into the depths of your shadow, to give light to your shame, you allow space for something new to emerge. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

This week ~ give yourself permission to rest, to feel, to welcome the Dark Goddess into your being, to set new boundaries, to allow discomfort to be OK, to look into the shadows and from that place to see what new life wants to emerge. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Tonight I'll be gathering with the sisters in my program The Sovereign Circle to work with the energy of this Scorpio New moon and the Dark Goddess.

I'm excited to be finalizing new dates for the next round of The Sovereign Circle on the calendar -- we'll be beginning in February 2019. This is a 9-month feminine leadership initiation & high priestess sisterhood that is a true joy of mine to guide.

If you're interested in learning more, join the waitlist here. I'll be announcing new dates + guest teachers soon. I also hope you enjoy our latest podcast below...

Warmly,

Meredith

What I Said At My Grandmother's Memorial

Ever since I was a child I've been traveling to Northern Minnesota to visit my grandmother and spend time at my family's cabin on the lake.

But a few months ago, my grandmother passed away after a stroke. I went back to Minnesota this summer, for a very different reason. To honor her passing, and to speak at her funeral / memorial service.

I signed up to speak thinking I would be sharing stories and kind words to a few close family and friends. Then the night before getting on the airplane, I dreamt I would be speaking in front of many, many more people.

I guess I wasn't surprised when I arrived in Minnesota to find out 150 people had RSVP'ed to her memorial service. (gulp).

I hadn't written a speech, I didn't know what I was going to say, but I knew this was a divine opportunity, and I wasn't going to pass it up.

I realized my grandmother was leaving me with one final gift, to share my voice.

Somehow throughout my life, I have been put in situations again and again where I am invited on a stage to speak in front of many people. And almost every time it has scared the pants off of me.

But as many of you know, over the last few years I have been coming more and more into the power of my voice. Again and again I have learned to trust in myself.

So, the day before her service, the words came, and I knew what I was going to say.

All the familiar nervous feelings came up in my body right before I went up to speak - the intensity of having all those eyes on me, the amount of energy and adrenaline running through my veins...

But this time, I welcomed it all. I breathed through it. I saw this intensity of energy as a reminder of my power. I told myself, I trust in my voice.

And I spoke.

While I was up there, it felt so natural. It felt like it was exactly where I was supposed to be. It felt like spirit was with me and I was honoring the divine gift of my voice.

But what I didn't expect was what would happen afterwards. Person after person came up to me to say how my words had touched them.

One woman even came up to tell me, "Your words make me want to be a better grandmother. Really."

When a friend of my grandmother asked me if I would type up what I said and email it to her, I decided to also share these words with you too, because somehow, even though you probably didn't know my grandmother, these words feel important, and I think they speak to a larger message and maybe, it's a message you need to hear at this time.

Find the words below.

With love, 
Meredith

---

When my grandmother passed she began coming to me in my dreams. In every one of these dreams she was dressed from head to toe in one of her finest matching outfits, wearing bright red lipstick, as we all remember her.

And in these dreams, she was holding a gift. It was carefully wrapped with my name on it. But in the dream I never actually got to the moment of opening the gift.

In my waking life, this made me start thinking about all the gifts my grandmother had given to me in my life...

As a child they were gifts of joy and sweetness. Of birthday cards, warm christmas cookies, blueberry and my personal favorite, chocolate silk pie.

As I grew older she shared with me the gifts of dedication and attention to detail as she taught me how to sew and to knit. She showed me through her own love and commitment the beauty she could create with her hands.

As a young woman she shared gifts of courage and strength. She showed me I could face my fears.

I'll always remember the time my sister and I arrived at her house to her saying, "Girls, I think there's a mouse in my room, come help me get it out!"

Grammy was already losing her eyesight at this point, and that mouse turned out to be a bat, hanging right on the edge of her bed.

Grammy went to get a ski glove and told us to pick up the bat and throw it out the window.

My sister and I looked at each other. "You throw it out! No you!" While we pushed the glove back and forth to each other, Grammy put on the other glove, picked up the bat and threw it out the window.

"There's nothing to be afraid of girls!" she smirked.

But in her passing, my grandmother gave me much deeper gifts, gifts of self-reflection and self-inquiry.

In the final days of holding her hand, I remembered the preciousness of life.

I remembered that one day I too shall pass.

And I asked myself, "How do I wish to live?"

"Do I want to be held back by fear or resentment?"

"Or do I want to live each day with love, forgiveness, and generosity?"

I asked myself: 

Am I doing everything I want to?

Have I spoken up and told the ones I love how I feel?

Is there anything I should let go of that no longer serves me?

Is there anywhere I am postponing or holding back?

I believe every one of us is here with a divine gift to give in this life.

Are you fully honoring yours?

Or are there dreams left unfulfilled? Or words left unspoken?

My grandmother gave me many gifts in my life - gifts that went far beyond the physical and material.

Take a moment to look around. Every one of us here have been touched by this woman's life in some way. And she remains to be an anchor in this community, bringing us together.

Today, I invite you to reflect upon the gifts this amazing woman may have brought to your life and I ask you, to go out and share your gifts with others.

---

need help writing a speech?

Sign up for a 75-min private coaching session with me, specific on your public speaking and speech writing goals. I offer intuitive and loving support to overcome fears of public speaking (EFT/Tapping) as well as years of experience writing speeches to help you create something powerful to say at the memorial service of your loved ones.

This session offers you someone you can strategize with, address and clear limiting beliefs or blocks that have been holding you back so you can truly shine in the radiance of who you are and all you have to share.

For any questions, reach out here.

Mary Magdalene & The Courage to Be Seen

Have your palms ever broke a sweat at the thought of being the center of attention? Have you ever felt timid to share your voice? Or afraid of what would happen if you really let your true self be seen?

For much of my life I experienced intense anxiety around being seen, especially when it came to public speaking. It felt like my body would shut down in these situations, my chest would constrict and I would have trouble breathing, so as any young girl probably would, I stopped putting myself in the situations where I would have to speak or share in public.

But when I think back on this fear that I carried through high school and college, it always felt so much deeper than just the normal nerves of public speaking or being the center of attention. It was a deep visceral feeling that something terrible would happen if I really let myself step up to share in the way I was feeling called. 

For the last seven years of my life have been focused on understanding and releasing this deep rooted fear. I began with beginning to teach yoga back in 2010 and then took bigger steps by joining toastmasters to give speeches in 2014.  But even though I did well and even excelled in these areas, underneath I still felt a palpable fear of “I might just die if I do this."

Now, I want to write about this today because in the past few months I have noticed something big shifting for myself and others. I have continued to take steps to face my fear, showing up to interviews to talk about my book, teaching more yoga and leading events where I share my story, but it has been completely different. That visceral feeling of “something terrible is going to happen to me if I do this” hasn't been there.

At first I told myself, "Well it's because I've been spending years practicing this..." but to be totally honest, I think the real reason this deep rooted fear is lifting is because of Mary Magdalene.

I first began to learn about the truth of Mary’s life after meeting Kaia Ra at one of her book readings for The Sophia Code last year.

All I knew about Mary Magdalene growing up was that she was close to Jesus during his life, and that she was often portrayed by the Catholic church as a prostitute. I remember an image I saw of her when I was a child - she was depicted as dirty and haggard, kneeling next to Jesus to wash his feet.

But the truth is, Mary Magdalene was a Priestess. She had a very high role of anointing, and that image of touching Jesus’ feet was actually a moment where she was using sacred oils to anoint him in a highly revered act.

As I have dove into books and channeled teachings about Mary Magdalene, I have learned she was Jesus’ wife and she was a complete equal to him. She would teach beside Jesus during her lifetime. Her image was tainted after her death because the church took out many stories from the Bible that portrayed the divine feminine as a powerful force. For centuries, the feminine was suppressed. 

When Jesus was crucified, there was a prophecy that there would be 2000 years of darkness, and after that time, the divine feminine would rise to restore her place again alongside the divine masculine.

This is the time we are in right now. I've read about many prophecies that after 2012 it would be the beginning of a new golden age. 

Right now, a new paradigm is being midwifed by Mary Magdalene and many other ascended masters to restore the sacred feminine in our collective consciousness. And what I have been noticing in this incredible time is: it is safe for women to be powerful and share their voices.

To affirm this belief, last year our Pope declared Mary Magdalene as “the apostle of the apostles.” She has now finally been recognized by the Catholic Church as one of the highest teachers of her time, right alongside Jesus Christ. 

The energy of Mary Magdalene began coming to me more and more in conversations, books, in imagery, and in my meditations. Every time I thought of her, I felt a sense of peace and ease.

Then I attended a women’s circle to learn more about Mary Magdalene. The leader of the circle told us that Mary Magdalene carried an ancient wound during her lifetime: the fear of being stoned for being visible and sharing her voice. She said this deep rooted fear was passed down through many centuries, and that many women still feel the weight of that wound today. 

Every hair on my body raised when she said this because finally I had an answer to explain my fear - I just knew I was connected to this ancient wound. I imagined myself as a High Priestess in a past life, in the lineage of Isis and Mary Magdalene, and I just knew in my bones that I had been carrying this wound that it just was not safe to be seen.  

I then realized that in stepping up to be seen and share my voice now, I am healing the lineage of women who for centuries carried this same wound.

Mary Magdalene has been coming to many, many men and women in the dawn of this new age to help us birth this new paradigm.  She is letting us know it is safe now. The feminine is safe now. It is safe to share our voice. It is safe to be a powerful feminine leader. 

So what is being asked of us now in this time? We are being asked to restore the feminine within ourselves. To learn how to receive, to rest, and to simply be. We are learning to honor our bodies, our emotions and our sexuality as sacred. We are relearning the ways of the feminine, and by restoring these qualities within ourselves, we are doing our part on behalf of a much greater awakening.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and to reach the bottom of this email. If you are here reading this, I imagine you may have a connection to Mary Magdalene as well, whether you know it consciously or not. I want you to know that you are safe, and she is here for you, guiding us from the higher realms.

Do you feel the shifting in this time? Do you feel called to restore the balance of our culture by honoring the sacred feminine within?

I will be sharing more teachings of Mary Magdalene as part of my upcoming program, The Sovereign Circle. There are still spaces left to join, and we begin with our first live virtual circle with the next full moon on October 4th. Reply to this email if you'd like more details, and I'll send you the program guide.

With love,
Meredith

The Cover of My Book (+ Tips on Birthing Your Big Dream)

REAL TALK: it's taken me six years to publish my first book.

I remember the exact spot I was in India on Mount Arunachala, the holy mountain of stillness and light, in spring 2011 right after my friend told me he thought I would write a book one day.

I sat pondering, "What would I write a book about? What would I have to say?"

At first I brushed off the idea, feeling like it would all just be too hard, but soon I imagined opening pages of the book, and saw each chapter title as a mantra, where I shared stories from my travels in India.

I imagined the words speaking of love and breakups, and the journey I set out on to find love within rather than outside of myself.

I imagined the book would speak of the sages and saints I met on my path and would bring light to the spiritual teachings that have been life-changing for me.

Then I thought, "That's not such a bad idea! Maybe I should write a book..."

Fast forward six years and I am in the final three months before my book, Just Be: A Search for Self-Love in India is released to the world.

Many of you have been following me on this journey from the Kickstarter campaign to the title change (read more about that here), to the new cover design and beyond.

But I know for many of you, this may be the first time hearing about this project.

So today I wanted to share with you the final cover design.

It will be a complete 9-month journey from when I began work with my publisher last December to when my book is released at the end of August.

And in many ways it has felt like birthing a child.

I've had to do deep spiritual work in moving through fears and doubts, as well as releasing expectations and attachments to the final outcome.

There were many, many times I almost gave up. But somehow, I kept going.

I can imagine that if you have a big dream you have been wanting to birth into the world, you have been facing some of these doubts and challenges that naturally come up along the way.

I invite you to reconnect to your intention in birthing that dream - what do you hope to gain from it?

Throughout the whole book-birthing process I reminded myself of 3 simple intentions:

• I desire to learn about how to write and publish a book

• I long to honor this divinely guided idea (that felt like it chose me and asked me to birth it)

• I hope to help even just 1 person through the stories and teachings that are shared in it

When I reconnected to these intentions again and again, it always felt so much easier to take the next step.

So, what dream are you holding in your heart that you are ready to birth into the world? If you feel called to share with us, let us know in the comments below.

And you know what? It's totally OKAY if it takes YEARS longer than you ever thought it would to birth your dream...

I am cheering you on from the sidelines because from my experience, I can tell you it feels pretty awesome when you finally get there. 

With love, 
Meredith

P.S. And I couldn't have done it without an amazing video and kickstarter strategy from StartMotionMEDIA.

24 Hours of **Magic**

Click the image to watch the video!

Over the last month I've ridden the waves of fear and trust as I prepared to start the publishing process to share my book with the world.

...And since launching a campaign yesterday, I am humbled and AMAZED by the outpouring of love and support this project has received...

Check out the latest stats to see how far we've come in only 24 hours.

This book was written to help you take bigger leaps to stand up and share your gifts with the world...

If there's anything I've learned in the last day, it's that we're all in this together.  
You can now watch the project video and be one of the first to join the community ready to experience my new book, Synchroncity.

Thank you to all of you who have helped me cross this threshold.

With immense love & gratitude, 
Meredith

P.S. Your help makes all the difference!
Please like, comment, and share this post on facebook to continue spreading the word.  In your post please include the project short link http://kck.st/2dTEZpS so people know where to go to view the project!

Yoga, Kirtan & Book Readings!

11/4 ~ Yin Yoga, Tea, Book Reading & Celebration! in honor of finishing my book, 'Synchronicity' 6:30 pm at The dhyana Center

10/27 ~ Kirtan! 6:30 pm at Alive Yoga in Sebastopol

10/24 ~ Kirtan & Book Reading at the Dhamma Pad 8 pm in Berkeley, CA

Please contact me if you'd like to invite me for a book reading, kirtan or yoga event during the campaign :)

Do You Have a Dream Gathering Dust?

Have you ever had a dream that just felt crazy to actually accomplish?

That’s how I felt five years ago when I was traveling in India and a friend of mine handed me a handwoven notebook and said, “Meredith, you’re going to write a book one day, and I got this for you to start.”

A book! The idea felt impossible, overwhelming, and also kind of scary.

But over the course of the 6 months I traveled in India by myself, the events that happened were almost too magical for me to not write a book.

So I began.

I wrote.  Then I stopped.

I moved through resistance but at one point it just got too hard and I stopped altogether.

Almost two years passed with my stories growing dust, just sitting on the desktop of my computer. 

Until one night I went to sleep and had a dream.

I found a book of a woman’s travels, and began flipping through the pages until I realized, this was supposed to be the book I wrote...and I hadn't done it yet.

The next morning, I recommitted. Even though I didn’t know how, I trusted I would be guided.

Three months later I was led to an editor who for a whole year and a half I sent 5,000 words to every two weeks.

Just a few months ago I finished.  I did it.  I finished writing the book.

I'm taking the steps forward in copyediting, design and printing, and next week have an exciting announcement on how you can experience the stories of synchronicity for yourself.

But I chose to share this story with you today to remind you, your dreams are still possible.

Maybe YOU have a book gathering dust on your desktop, or a far-off dream to travel to Europe, or drive across the country...

Maybe you've always wanted to quit your job, make a feature film, write poetry, give a talk, or lead a retreat... the list could go on.

What dream are you ready to recommit to?

It will probably take support, encouragement, and trusting in the universe to take your next step, but I know you can do it.

Trust in your divinely guided dreams and ambitions, even if they feel crazy to the rational mind.

I can speak from experience that you will be glad you did.

I'd love to hear what dream you are called to commit to in the comments below.

If you don't feel called to share now, I still invite you to share it with someone when you're ready. Think about who in your life may be able to offer you a little bit of support and encouragement. 

And stay tuned for my big announcement next week! 

With love, 
Meredith

What an Elephant Taught me About my Fear

In the weeks before I left for my trip to India I met a man in San Francisco named Josh. 

We immediately connected over our passion for music, tea, yoga, and astrology.  We spent long mornings chatting together in the three days I had in the city, and in the weeks that followed, we continued our conversation through letters and emails. 

I knew I could have had a promising romance in the States if I stayed, but I chose to follow my dreams, bought my ticket to India and left for Amma’s ashram in Kerala.

To my surprise, two weeks after my arrival, I found a message waiting from Josh in my inbox:

“I bought a flight to visit you!!  I’ll be arriving in just a few weeks.”

I was flattered, but also shocked — “You’re traveling halfway around the world to see me??” 

I had enjoyed our romantic emails in the weeks before I left, but I knew in my heart I was making the trip to India for myself and no one else.  I had so much to discover there and part of me knew I needed to do it on my own.

But then I thought of leaving the safety of the ashram premises (where I had been safely meditating). I hadn’t been outside of the ashram yet and I had no idea how I would feel navigating the trains and buses around the country by myself.  “Wouldn’t it be nice to have this man with you for a sense of security?”

I knew it was safer, more secure, and I was scared of the unknown. 

So I replied, “I’m excited you’re coming!”  Over the days that followed we talked about riding an elephant into the sunset together and watching the full moon rise over the beach on his birthday...

A week before Josh arrived, I felt a strong desire to go out exploring on my own.  I took a train to a nearby beach town and every step of the way surprised myself at how at home I felt making all the decisions by myself.

On the beach a huge elephant walked by on a nearby path.  I went closer to admire it when a man leading it asked, “Do you want to go for a ride on Ganesha?”

“A ride? Me, by myself? Up there?” I thought. I remembered my dreams of riding an elephant with Josh tightly holding my hand as we watched the sunset.

Then for a moment I imagined myself up there on the elephant all by myself, with the breeze on my face, looking down at the world around me. It felt liberating. 

Josh probably wouldn’t mind if I did it on my own, I thought. “Yes, please!” 

I ran closer and waited while one of the Indian men moved his hand over the side of Ganesha’s face and whispered a few words in his ear. He patted Ganesha’s front leg and the elephant bent down. The Indian man advised me to step on his hoof so he could hoist me up. 

I followed his directions and found myself belly down on top of the elephant trying to swing my leg over to the other side. The little hairs on his enormous body brushed against my face.

When I successfully swung my leg to the other side, I sat up slowly, finding my balance. The Indian men were laughing and clapping as I looked around, a little shocked by the new perspective.

The ground was a good ten feet away. I ran my hands over his grey, wrinkly skin. As I found my composure, the shakiness I felt at first began to dissipate.

I sat with poise and confidence like an Indian queen greeting the villagers of her kingdom. 

Then I thought, "I don’t actually need Josh to be here with me to feel safe." I realized a big part of the reason I had initially been so happy to have Josh come visit me was because I had been afraid of being on my own.

The prospect of having a man with me while I traveled to a new country felt safer. But now that I had found my own way from the ashram to this town, I felt fine.

I felt more than fine—I felt confident in myself.

I didn’t need Josh to be there with me to feel safe. I didn’t need him there to ride the elephant, and I didn’t necessarily need him there to travel with me around India.

I still felt excited to see him, but an old, limiting belief had been lifted. I no longer felt a need to depend on a man outside of myself. 

The more steps the elephant took, the more I realized I wasn’t carrying any fear at all, just excitement.

I felt awake, present, and invincible.

I realized that doing the things that scared me brought me fully into the present moment. Once I was doing it, there didn’t seem to be any more fear.

Even more than that, I realized in doing the things that scared me, I walked away with more confidence. I reminded myself, The only way to get rid of my fears, is to simply go out and do what I'm afraid of. 

I had spent so much of my life in fear. I was afraid to speak up in class, afraid to travel on my own, I was even afraid of driving on highways. I always wondered, "How do I gain more confidence?"

I was so busy avoiding the things that scared me that I had never learned the pathway to more confidence was simply doing what scared me.

When I did that, the fear became more familiar, and less scary. Each fear I faced gave me more confidence to face another. 

Deep within myself, I knew if I were to travel on my own for the rest of my time in India, I’d be okay. I needed to ride the elephant by myself to discover that. 

I lowered down closer to the elephant’s ear and whispered, “Thank you Ganesha for clearing this path for me. Thank you for this new wisdom.” 

To find out what happened next you’ll have to keep reading in my book.  Stay tuned to find out how you can receive an early copy...

In the meantime, I’m curious, what fears or limiting beliefs have you been holding?  And what action could you take to live more fully beyond your fears? I'd love to hear in the comments below.

With love,
Meredith

Why I Cut Off My Hair When I was 22

When I was 22 years old I cut off most of my hair.  

It was in a salon, just hours before my flight to India.  I didn't know how long I would be gone or when I would be coming back. 

I remember staring at my long, golden locks in the mirror thinking about how much I had identified myself with my hair.  Men often complimented me on it.  It made me feel beautiful. 

But it was also a place where I would hide.  I remember when my skin broke out in cystic acne and all the products and creams I used stopped working all together.  To feel comfortable going outside, I put on layers of makeup and let my hair cover most of my face.

I remember hiding behind my hair in class, hoping the teacher wouldn't call on me, terrified that my voice would shake if I was asked to speak...

But in the moments before boarding my plane to India, I knew I was done with hiding.  

I stood looking in the mirror and thought, "What if I cut it all off?"

It was like standing on the edge of a cliff. I felt tingles from my toes run up my shins. 

It took courage to take the leap I was about to take, to travel half-way around the world without an end date or a plan...

I would be entering a place where no one knew me.  I realized, I could be anyone I wanted to be.  

And I was ready to stop hiding. 

So I walked into the closest salon and told her to cut my hair to a boy-short length.

I watched as the golden locks hit the floor, wondering how men would look at me now, and how I would feel about myself when I looked in the mirror.  I wondered if I had made a mistake.

But then I realized how brave I was in making a conscious choice to leave my insecurities about my appearance behind. 

"I am doing this for myself and no one else.  I am doing this to see my own inner radiance," I told myself. 

I took these before and after pictures in the salon mirror...

Before and after pics of my haircut in the salon bathroom

Walking out, I ran my fingers through my new short cut, tied a scarf around my head and hours later, boarded my flight into the unknown.

More photos from my first week in India at Amma's ashram in Kerala, 2011:

Photos of me during my first week in Kerala, India

As self-conscious as I was in my first weeks with short hair, it was also incredibly liberating.  It helped me drop the identity of the person I had been up to that point, and helped me stop trying to put on an appearance for the outside world. 

It helped me reconnect to a love within myself and for myself, that had nothing to do with my appearance.

I share this with you today to remind you of your own inner radiance. 

Where have you been relying too much on your outer appearance?

I don't think we all need to go as extreme as cutting off all our hair - but what if you chose not to wear makeup for a day? Or wore your hair pulled back, away from your face? 

A simple act like that is for you and no one else.  May it help you remember that at your core and your essence, you are pure radiance. 

With love, 
Meredith

P.S. This story is also a scene from my upcoming book about my travels in India.  Stay tuned for more stories like this coming out this month...<3

"Do I love this?" (Why I'm giving away half the clothes in my closet)

I woke up this morning, with a strong urge to give away half of the clothes in my closet.

Yesterday, my friend came back from a transformative festival and declared, "From now on, I am only going to wear clothing that is made of organic, natural fibers in the colors of white, red or gold." 

She had come home wearing a beautiful white cotton dress that made her look like a priestess.  She told me, "I spent $108 on this dress, and it may be all I need."

I have watched over the past month as this friend moved, gave away half of her belongings and simplified her life.  

Being around her has been so refreshing, and also inspired me to look at the areas of my life (and closet) that have felt stagnant.

I recently finished reading Greg McKeown's NY Times best-selling book, Essentialism. 

In it, he challenges the reader to go into their closet and instead of asking, "Is there a chance I will wear this someday in the future?" to ask, "Do I love this?" If the answer is no, then you know it is a candidate for elimination.  

I realized I have been craving this kind of clarity in my life.  I was yearning to declare, "This is what I want," fully own it, and decide the rest is nonessential.

This summer I have been saying no to opportunities.  I've said no to interviews, subbing yoga classes, new teaching opportunities, and even new clients.  I realize I needed to do this to clear the space in my mind and my schedule to just be.  

Through that space I'm seeing more clearly what I want to say yes to.  
I now feel a fresh inspiration for my podcast interviews, for crafting and refining my book (the stories of India I so long to share,) and for creating space this Fall to work with women one-on-one.  

I realized at least for now, everything else could fall away.

When we eliminate, we create space for our highest possible contribution to shine through. 

So today, as I am going through my closet, I invite you to ask, "What is cluttering up my life?"

Maybe it is material clutter, or maybe it is one-too-many projects you have said yes to...

I'm curious what you can eliminate or say no to, in order to make greater space for your yes...

I'd love to hear what it is in the comments below.

With love, 
Meredith

The 3 Biggest Leaps I've Taken and How They Changed My Life

This spring I read Brene Brown's book, Rising Strong.  I've been thinking back on the biggest turning points in my life - the times when I have catalyzed the most positive change and personal growth.  I realized they were all times I took a leap.

Taking a leap is scary.  It's when you're drawn by a deeper calling and feel the pull to greatness, but it requires you to leave your zone of comfort and step into total unknown with trust.

What I found is there is always inner resistance and self-doubt before taking a leap.  The rational mind will come up with all kinds of excuses not to do it.  But for me, the inner calling became so pronounced at certain times in my life that I didn't feel like I had any other choice.  

So I lept.  And I'm so glad I did. 

Here are 3 of the biggest leaps I've taken over the last six years, and how they impacted my life:

1. Moving to San Francisco

At 22 years old I was living on the East Coast.  New York was all I knew.  I grew up in a suburb of NYC and at age 18 chose to go to college a mere 45 minutes away from my house. 

New York was my comfort zone.  Yet, the  thought of living with warmer winters, palm trees, surrounded by nature and the hopes of a more  carefree lifestyle drew me in. 

When I started applying to jobs in NYC when I graduated just after the economic crises of 2008, I was only hearing crickets.  The thought of finding a new apartment in New York City, continuing to search for jobs when I still didn't totally know what I wanted to do with my life felt daunting. 

I started going to yoga classes and consistently in savasana I kept seeing San Francisco.  The vision came again and again, so finally one day on craigslist instead of searching for jobs in NYC, I searched for housing in San Francisco. 

I found an artist collective in the Mission within my budget, and within a week I was flying out there to look at the room. 

When I made a choice to move (it was a 1 month sublet, so I knew if it didn't work out, I could always fly back home and continue my job search) everything began to fall into place.  

Ten days after moving to SF, I met Amma, the hugging guru and I just knew it was all meant to be.  I established more trust in the universe and in following my intuition.  

"A leap requires you to jump before you know what comes next."

2. Becoming a Yoga Teacher

In 2010 I attended a 16-day training at Yandara Yoga Institute in Baja, Mexico.  It was a leap because it required me to invest in myself and to face my biggest fear: public speaking.

I remember holding so much fear standing up to present in my classes in college. Actually, I couldn't bear to do it even just sitting down.

But the more yoga classes I went to, the more clear it came to me that I too wanted to be the leader, confidently leading the class at the front of the room...so I leapt and I never looked back.

3. Leading My First International Retreat in Bali, Indonesia

I remember being with my family in Northern Minnesota for Christmas in 2014 and suddenly these very clear downloads coming to me about leading a retreat in Bali.  I wrote and wrote, and even saw the images on the website page inviting women to join me there.

I had no idea how I would go about leading this retreat in a country I had never been to before, but I trusted in the process and I started sharing about the dream.

One day in a meditation course I met a woman who told me about the perfect retreat center.  I reached out to them and within a few months, I put my deposit down.

I remember my friend Erica Jago was sitting next to me in my home at the time and she encouraged me every step of the way.  "Yes you can do this!" she said.  

So I paid the deposit and signed a contract to pay a huge sum of money to the retreat center, even though I was unsure if I would really be able to make it happen. 

However, I trusted in the process and 8 months later, there I was, in Bali with 11 participants.

I needed to commit to the choice, give it my all and follow through. 

Every step of the way I gained more confidence, more trust in my intuition and trust in the universe. 

A leap can certainly be uncomfortable, but every so often I believe they are necessary for your growth.  

In all cases, I was connected to my intuition.  I was  willing to face a fear and take a leap, I received support along the way, and I opened myself to the power of sharing my gifts.

This is how I aim to serve women now...

1. Reconnect with the wisdom of their body and the messages it may be sending them

2. Gather up the courage to face their fears, take a leap and answer the calling of their soul's adventure

3. Create layers of support around themselves to take those leaps

4. Share the gifts of all they learn through the process

I believe when women are supported to listen to this wisdom, and face the fears that come up along the way, really anything is possible.  

What My Cat Taught Me About Abundance

Last December I put on my high heels and red lipstick to go to a fancy holiday party at a beautiful modern home in Penngrove, CA.

However, this wasn't just any normal holiday party.  This was a Toastmasters holiday party, a public speaking group I have been a part of for the last year.  Three people were prepared to give a speech that night, and one of them was me. 

After much practicing in the back field of my home, I felt ready.  I was excited.  As I put on my jewelry and curled my hair, I reflected back on how much I had grown in just one year.

I remembered standing terrified looking out at the audience at a podium in front of thirty or forty people the first time I stood up to speak in front of this group.  Despite the fear of that first moment, I knew I was ready to grow, ready to face the fear, and over the last year, I have.  

Public speaking has become more and more familiar, and through putting myself on center stage, I have learned so much about myself and the craft of captivating an audience.

Over the last year, I realized there was a girl inside of me, ready to be SEEN, to be LOUD, ready to STAND UP and share her voice.

I was encouraged every step of the way by this amazing group of people of all ages and from all walks of life.  I delivered my speech, "The Gifts of Giving" at the Holiday party that nightand was on a total high.

Then just a few weeks ago, I was looking at the voice memos on my phone and discovered my boyfriend Michael had recorded the whole thing!

At first I felt shy about sharing it, but realized this magical story of giving and receiving could be inspiring for you to break free from scarcity and believe in the beauty, magic, and abundance all around you.  So here I am sharing it with you...

The speech is only 8 minutes long, so I hope you take some time to listen above.  You'll also learn how I ended up with a magical cat on my doorstep...

Warmly, Meredith

Photo by In Her Image Photography

A 4-Step Process to Help You Live the Life You Really Want

What will you do with your wild & precious life?

That was a question I asked myself 5 years ago when I was living in NYC applying to jobs to work behind a computer 40 hours a week. I knew I needed something more, so I followed my intuition and booked a one-way ticket to California.

Following our intuition is a challenging process, but I promise you it's worth working through. I recently wrote a 4 step process to help you live the life you *actually* want and was lucky enough to be featured on Elephant Journal. 

In the comments, I'd love to hear, are you living the life you actually want? If you're struggling to take that next step toward freedom, start today! Set your intention and watch the magic unfold.

---

All around me, I see women awakening to their gifts, their power and their purpose.

However, I see many of the same women held back by fear, self-doubt and limiting beliefs.

I see women full with creative ideas but lacking the structure and support to fully execute them. I also see women struggling to fully express themselves and believe in their power.

Growing up, I knew I had a big message to share, but I had trouble speaking up and expressing myself. In high school and college, when all eyes were on me, I would freeze and have trouble finding my voice.

Then, five years ago it became more important to me to become a yoga teacher than to let this fear run my life.

Since then, everything has changed.

I left New York City to move to California and I traveled in India for six months by myself. I started sharing my voice and little by little, gained confidence as a teacher and leader.

Now, life is magical. I teach yoga, lead retreats, give speeches and am even writing a book. I find myself finally living beyond fear. Since starting my business, I’ve guided women from all over the world manifest a new vision for their life. What I’ve seen is:

It takes willingness to face a fear, again and again.

As much as I wanted to avoid it, I realized in order to create the life of my dreams, I had to do what scared me.

People who are living their dreams were willing to step outside of their comfort zone. Somewhere along the line, they had to take a risk. It was really scary for me to move to California, start my business and teach yoga and lead workshops. But the thing is, I was able to work up to it. I gave myself small steps to gain confidence.

Here are four keys that helped me along the way...keep reading here.

Permission to Be Fearless

Photo taken at Burning Man, 2015

Last month on the Winter Solstice, I was invited to sing in front of 150 people. I arrived, a little nervous, but confident in my offering. I sat with my harmonium, poised with a microphone near my mouth and my instrument. I welcomed the group into a meditation and began to sing, "Ong Namo Gurudev Namo."

I finished the song feeling proud. I did it, I thought. The moment I had been anticipating for weeks was over. I did it. The brief moment in time felt so surreal.

I realized that if I had been asked to sing in front of a group this size a year ago, I would have been terrified. Expressing myself through my voice, especially singing, has been one of life's biggest challenges and greatest gifts.

I remember struggling to introduce myself in front of a small group of people in high school and freaking out before presentations in college. I always felt like a deer in the headlights and struggled to find my breath and voice.

The fear of sharing my voice was actually what inspired me to become a yoga teacher. I remember admiring my teacher in New York, gracefully walking across the room while powerfully commanding the yogis from one pose to the next. Could I ever be like that? I thought.

I was introduced to the harmonium by another yoga teacher, Kimber Simpkins, who opened and closed every class singing with the harmonium. As I began to use my voice, I felt the vibration in my body and began to discover the sound inside me. As I watched her, confident and poised, I again asked, Could I ever be like that?

Soon after discovering Kimber's classes, I fell in love with a musician. Watching him sing so beautifully in front of a crowd brought out all the insecurities inside me.

Every time I went to watch him perform, I felt more nervous than he did. I realized this fear was telling me something: maybe it was time for me to share my voice. I then discovered this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt:

Courage is more exhilarating than fear and in the long run it is easier. We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.

I began to make small steps to face the fear. First, I started teaching yoga classes. Every time I stood in front of the room as a teacher, I became more confident in myself and my voice. Each step I took to face the fear gave me the courage to go further.

I remember the first time I sang in front of my boyfriend, terrified at what he would think. My fingers were shaking on the guitar. I had him close his eyes because I felt so exposed. It was uncomfortable, yes, but I survived, and in the end, I received praise. I felt proud of myself.

That sense of pride kept me going.

My boyfriend encouraged me to step out of my shell. One night, I asked if he would sing with me around the fire at a friend's house. I felt the nervousness arise as I held the guitar, but I sang anyway. It wasn't perfect, but again, I was praised.

A few months later, I was at a full moon ceremony to release fear. As each person spoke, I knew this was the step I needed to take again and again to develop my strength. In the ceremony, I shared the fears I carried around my voice and did the thing that scared me most: I sang with the harmonium in front of the entire group.

There I was, years later, embodying the teachers I had looked up to most.

Every time I faced my fear and shared my voice, a new door opened from the universe. Opportunities and invitations came, and my confidence grew.  Eventually, I was led to the sacred moment at the Winter Solstice to share my voice with more people than I ever had before.

Every step of the way, I was being prepared.

Every step of the way, I had to trust myself that I was ready.

Through that trust, I have seen the universe open doors for me that I am ready for. I see women all around me answering the call to rise up in their power, their divine femininity and their voice. I have answered the call and am now encouraging other women to feed the flames, discover their power and stand strong in their voices.

If you are out there and have ever felt afraid to speak up, afraid to sing, or afraid to share, know that you're not alone.  I've been there and I can tell you from my experience: when opportunity comes knocking, trust in it. The universe is only going to present you with opportunities you are ready for; you can say yes, even when there is fear.

Your voice is ready.

Deep down, you know it is.  All you have to do is say yes.

I feel like a different person. Here's why ~

I've been home for just over one week now after a month long teaching and singing tour on the West Coast and South West. Michael and I had our homecoming celebration concert in Sebastopol last weekend and... it kind of blew my mind. 

There must have been forty people in the room, all singing with us.  I had a very surreal moment at that show where I realized how much I have grown.  Over the last year, I have really become a different person.  

I used to be very shut down and afraid to share my voice.  The thought of it would make my chest constrict and it even felt difficult to breathe.

However, in just the last week, I have led four workshops, a private talk, a podcast interview and a concert.  Wow!  

Michael and I have facilitated eighteen events sharing yoga and singing across the country, and I'm about to give my third speech at my public speaking group this Thursday.

It's incredible for me.  Sometimes I look at myself and wonder, when did I become this person?

Through it all, I've learned, it's about baby steps, and practice.  It's about connecting to a larger VISION for the world, and surrendering my fears to a higher power.  And it is most definitely about receiving support.

I'm gearing up for my next VISION online coaching program that begins in less than two weeks.  If you sign up before June 10 you'll receive $100 off.  In this program, I will be providing love, support and encouragement to women from around the world to manifest their desires through a 40-day meditation practice.  

If you have any questions, or want to connect with me personally to see if this program is a good fit for you, contact me.

I also have a new meditation video interview with goddess energy healer Rachael Webb.

Each day over the next five days I will be releasing a new video interview with a new magical empowered woman.

In this video we explore:

• Why meditation is important
• How meditation changed Rachael's life
• What she has struggled with around meditation
• What meditation is like for her now
• Tips for how to bring meditation into your daily life

Watch the video and check out some more of my updates below!

With love, Meredith

P.S. Storytime Q & A Teleclass is back! Grab a cup of tea or lemonade, put on your slippers and cozy up to listen to this Storytime Teleclass.  I'll be sharing some of my favorite stories about manifestation. **MONDAY, JUNE 8 AT 5 PM PST* Sign up and submit a question!

Storytime-qa

Last week on tour...and music for you!

A few days ago I shared a story about forgiveness, and how key that was for me when I went through a difficult breakup four years ago. The strength I gained from that experience pushed me forward to find true forgiveness, freedom, independence, and love within myself.

As I let go, and focused on my dreams and visions, new love entered my life.

I have always seen relationships as a beautiful mirror - showing us what we need to see in ourselves.  For me, that reflection happened when I met a musician, Michael.

Music was always something I loved, but growing up, didn't always feel I could excel in myself.  I thought you were either born with a natural talent to sing and play instruments, or not.

But when Michael and I started dating, he consistently encouraged me to sing with him and use my voice.  I usually shied away from it, but last year, something shifted.  

I bought a harmonium and began learning to play mantras.  I brought the harmonium into my daily meditation practice, and alone in my room, began to sing.

I gave myself permission for it to not be perfect, and after a few short weeks, I was amazed to see the transformation and confidence I gained in my voice.

With Michael's guidance and encouragement, I began to share with friends, and accompanied him at performances.

When Michael and I planned our Vision & Voice tour, I expected to teach yoga, and only occasionally accompany him with the harmonium at our performances, however, that quickly shifted.

We've been on the road for four weeks now, through Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona and the California coast - and are on the last few days of our tour.  

We have events in Monterey, Santa Cruz, Mill Valley, Berkeley and Sebastopol this week.  (details below)

I know not all of you are able to make it to our events on the west coast, so I wanted to share a couple songs from one of our live performances in Ojai this week.

~ You can listen here. ~ With love, Meredith

Upcoming Events:

May 21: Monterey / Pacific Grove, CA, Kundalini Yoga + Kirtan, Chautauqua Hall  May 23: Santa Cruz, CA, Yoga with Live Music + Kirtan Divinitree Westside May 24: Mill Valley, CA, Homecoming KIrtan Celebration, Redwoods Retreat House May 25: Berkeley, CA, Singing Workshop, House Event May 29: Sebastopol, CA, Yoga with Live Music, The dhyana Center May 30: Sebastopol, CA, Homecoming Celebration Kirtan, The Root Collective

My most vulnerable text message

I just got back from a ten day trip in Puerto Rico.  It was beautiful, and great to connect with my partner's family while on vacation there, but it also had it's challenges. I got sick in the last few days, and arrived back home recovering from a cold.  Luckily my voice and body was strong for our beautiful Spring Equinox Retreat, but the next day, I lost my voice.

I struggled with losing my voice, feeling uncomfortable in my body, and trying to catch up on work from being away.

I began leaning on my partner a lot without realizing it - he was doing all the dishes, cooking, making teas and tinctures for me to get better, and providing emotional support as my body healed.

Then, last night he left the house to see a friend. Standing alone in my kitchen, I began to cry.  I was upset about how long my body was taking to heal and that I was suddenly all alone in my struggle.  My partner was doing what he could to help, but I realized I was putting a lot of my needs all on one person.

I then grabbed my phone and wrote one of the most vulnerable texts I had ever sent. It was to three of my local girlfriends, I wrote, "Hey sisters, I could use some support tonight, if you're available please come visit me, I'm struggling with being sick and feeling isolated."

At first, I heard no response, and I started to feel so vulnerable.  I worried, "Am I being too direct?  Am I being an inconvenience?  I hope they don't think I'm a burden."

Then I realized, it didn't matter if they came or not, but it actually felt so good just to reach out.  Just in my reaching out, I was giving them permission to reach out and do the same when they are in need.

Every time we reach out to a sister when we're in need, we give her permission to do the same.  tweet it

It turned out none of them were available to come over and help me, but I felt their presence and lots of love flooded in to me in the form of words and pictures as they held space for me.  They wrote things like, "I'm so glad you know you can reach out like this."  "I can come over first thing in the morning..." and "I made an altar for you and am sending love..." It was beautiful.  I wasn't an inconvenience at all.

I was inspired to reach out because other women have felt safe reaching out to me.  And in my sharing, I hope to inspire you to feel safe in doing the same.

A Course in Miracles teaches us to make our friendships more romantic, and our romances more friendly.  When we even the field of our relationships like this, we take the pressure off just having only one person to lean on in our life, making all of our relationships healthier.

Now, what about you:  Do you have any relationships in your life you may be leaning on too much?

How could you lighten the load and create more of a support structure around you in your life?

I'd love to hear in the comments below.

With love, Meredith

Permission to Be Fearless

Last month on the Winter Solstice, I was invited to sing in front of 150 people. I arrived, a little nervous, but confident in my offering. I sat with my harmonium, poised with a microphone near my mouth and my instrument. I welcomed the group into a meditation and began to sing, "Ong Namo Gurudev Namo."

I finished the song feeling proud. I did it, I thought. The moment I had been anticipating for weeks was over. I did it. The brief moment in time felt so surreal.

I realized that if I had been asked to sing in front of a group this size a year ago, I would have been terrified. Expressing myself through my voice, especially singing, has been one of life's biggest challenges and greatest gifts.

I remember struggling to introduce myself in front of a small group of people in high school and freaking out before presentations in college. I always felt like a deer in the headlights and struggled to find my breath and voice.

The fear of sharing my voice was actually what inspired me to become a yoga teacher. I remember admiring my teacher in New York, gracefully walking across the room while powerfully commanding the yogis from one pose to the next. Could I ever be like that? I thought.

I was introduced to the harmonium by another yoga teacher, Kimber Simpkins, who opened and closed every class singing with the harmonium. As I began to use my voice, I felt the vibration in my body and began to discover the sound inside me. As I watched her, confident and poised, I again asked, Could I ever be like that?

Soon after discovering Kimber's classes, I fell in love with a musician. Watching him sing so beautifully in front of a crowd brought out all the insecurities inside me.

Every time I went to watch him perform, I felt more nervous than he did. I realized this fear was telling me something: maybe it was time for me to share my voice. I then discovered this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt:

"Courage is more exhilarating than fear and in the long run it is easier. We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down."

I began to make small steps to face the fear. First, I started teaching yoga classes. Every time I stood in front of the room as a teacher, I became more confident in myself and my voice. Each step I took to face the fear gave me the courage to go further.

I remember the first time I sang in front of my boyfriend, terrified at what he would think. My fingers were shaking on the guitar. I had him close his eyes because I felt so exposed. It was uncomfortable, yes, but I survived, and in the end, I received praise. I felt proud of myself.

That sense of pride kept me going.

My boyfriend encouraged me to step out of my shell. One night, I asked if he would sing with me around the fire at a friend's house. I felt the nervousness arise as I held the guitar, but I sang anyway. It wasn't perfect, but again, I was praised.

A few months later, I was at a full moon ceremony to release fear. As each person spoke, I knew this was the step I needed to take again and again to develop my strength. In the ceremony, I shared the fears I carried around my voice and did the thing that scared me most: I sang with the harmonium in front of the entire group.

There I was, years later, embodying the teachers I had looked up to most.

Every time I faced my fear and shared my voice, a new door opened from the universe. Opportunities and invitations came, and my confidence grew.  Eventually, I was led to the sacred moment at the Winter Solstice to share my voice with more people than I ever had before.

Every step of the way, I was being prepared.

Every step of the way, I had to trust myself that I was ready...

Through that trust, I have seen the universe open doors for me that I am ready for. I see women all around me answering the call to rise up in their power, their divine femininity and their voice. I have answered the call and am now encouraging other women to feed the flames, discover their power and stand strong in their voices.

If you are out there and have ever felt afraid to speak up, afraid to sing, or afraid to share, know that you're not alone.  I've been there and I can tell you from my experience: when opportunity comes knocking, trust in it. The universe is only going to present you with opportunities you are ready for; you can say yes, even when there is fear.

Your voice is ready.

Deep down, you know it is.  All you have to do is say yes.