Holiday Gift + Solstice Blessings

Blessed holidays ~ 

I recently opened up the memoir I began writing 12 years ago and re-read the introduction. I was amazed to see the wisdom I had gained as a 22 year old millennial was still so valuable and relatable to my current life. 

I realized I've gained many new subscribers since the publishing of my book in 2017 so wanted to let you know it exists and is available on Amazon for holiday reading or gifts.  

Order the book on Amazon

I'm including a preview of the introduction below. Maybe you'll find you can relate to it too...

With love, 

Meredith

~~

We all have access to an infinite source of wisdom that lies in our bodies.

The first time I set foot on a yoga mat and began to really let myself feel the intensity of sensations and emotions that were lying beneath the surface, I wanted to run away. At first I avoided going back to yoga class, hoping that distractions like sugar or prescription pills from my doctor would take away my suffering instead. 

Fortunately, I soon realized that repressing or distracting myself from my emotions and sensations caused just as much and often even more suffering. It was then I knew running away was no longer an option. 

Through allowing myself to just be with my sensations and my breath, my journey began, and this book emerged. When I found that space of stillness, of silence, a space of no desires, no attachments, of pure witnessing presence without any need to change myself or my life, I formed a connection with the one place I can always rely on: my body, my breath, and my own innate wisdom. 

From that place, I began to listen deeply and to take action. I found the courage to take bigger leaps, follow my callings, and love myself through my challenges. It was then that the magic of life—a realization that the universe was conspiring in my favor to give me the exact experiences I needed to heal—helped me discover a deep, pervasive connectedness to everything and everyone around me, and a trust in a force greater than myself. 

My hope for you is to connect to a place of stillness and love within. A place where there is nothing you need to change. A place where you can love yourself no matter what thoughts, challenges, or situations arise. And from that place, to take steps forward, to follow your own inner callings, and to know that whatever happens in life, you’ll be able to come back to this stillness and self-love. 

Sometimes, life gets hard. It’s inevitable. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned through the years, it’s that if I can sit with the intensity of any emotion, any difficult sensation, and remain equanimous, calm, and composed, everything will be okay. The nature of these sensations—indeed all challenges of life—is to be impermanent, arising and passing away. 

This insight was confirmed during a conversation with my friend Karen at the end of our ten-day silent meditation retreat taught by S. N. Goenka. She had asked one of the teachers a question about the pain she was experiencing in her body, hoping that through feeling her pain, she would find relief, and that one day, just maybe, her pain would go away and never come back. The teacher looked her right in the eye and said, “Billions and billions of times better than your pain suddenly going away would be you continuing to have pain for the rest of your life and no longer suffering through your reaction to it.” 

The point is not to push away our pain but rather allow ourselves to just be through whatever arises. 

I chose to retain the real names of the saints and sages in this book. If you decide to further study their teachings, I ask that you do so with the purest intentions and utmost respect. In a similar vein, if you visit places that are mentioned in this book, know that every experience is unique, and your own journey will unfold, most likely, very differently from my own. We are each on a distinct and remarkable path to liberation, and no one person’s journey can ever be recreated, and that is part of the beauty of it. 

I write of my time in India not to speak on behalf of an organization or teacher, or to encourage others to follow my footsteps, but rather to authentically share the magical events and synchronicities I experienced when I tuned into my body’s wisdom and listened to the guidance I found there. Most of the names in this book have been changed out of respect for the privacy of the people I met on my path, except for Shankara, who gave his blessing and now travels the world under one of his many other names. 

Each chapter begins with a mantra, a short phrase with a sacred vibration that you can repeat in your mind to bring yourself back to the present moment. I discovered these mantras through my travels, and you’ll learn their meanings throughout the stories. The chapter titles are written in Sanskrit, except for the last chapter title, which is written in Pali, the language spoken during the time Buddha walked the earth. I invite you to use these mantras in your life as little seeds of wisdom, leading you to your own discoveries. 

P.S. You can also download a designed version of the introduction right here.

Winter Solstice Blessings

The darkest day of the year is upon us. The veils are getting thinner. The 21st marks the Winter Solstice, and the day after Christmas marks a full moon in Cancer (western astrology) and Gemini (Vedic/sidereal astrology).

On this darkest day of the year may we all receive the nourishment, love, and safety inherent in the darkness. And as we reclaim the feminine in our culture, may we welcome the sweetness of the light and the days getting longer without bypassing the gifts the darkness holds for us - the gifts inherent in our challenges, in our deepest feelings, in the unknown and within the darkness of our womb. 

May your Solstice be blessed. May we remember the power in the darkness. May we welcome the light.

What is Womb Healing? How Does it Work?

We store so many powerful memories in our womb. It is the strongest organ in a woman’s body, able to grow and birth a baby, a powerful source of our intuitive guidance, and our ability to set boundaries and feel worthy in our lives. 

These days I am supporting many, many women to heal repressed emotions and trauma stored in the womb, to claim their inherent self-worth, confidence and connection to their inner light and power. 

As more people are awakening in the world to the sacred power of the feminine essence, the power to soften, to rest, to breathe and be, to turn within, many are also awakening to the power of their womb. Many Priestesses of ancient times practiced the sacred art of womb healing, among other skills such as anointing, midwifery, and sharing wisdom as an oracle. I see many women awakening to these hidden gifts now.

I believe many women who are here to be great leaders and healers go through an womb initiation in their lives. Whether it’s a health challenge, a sexual assault, an abortion or miscarriage, there are so many experiences we might go through that call us into our healing and empowerment.

An initiation is when you are faced with a challenging experience that changes you in some way - when you transform and become a different person on the other side. 

Sometimes these initiations take years to go through and find completion, and other times they complete in an instant.

When we are willing to face these challenging initiations and ask, “How could this be happening for me, instead of to me?”  we have a huge opportunity for growth and discovery of our gifts and power.

In womb healing, we revisit difficult memories from our past stored in our womb, and with the support of a skilled guide, uncover what beliefs were formed, what emotions still need to be felt, and heal the memories so that we can imprint new beliefs in the subconscious.

I hold space for women to heal their womb, including imprints from:

• Sexual abuse: from childhood or adulthood, whether it was recurring or a single moment of assault or rape 

• Violated boundaries: when a moment of trauma happens and we freeze - it’s in these moments we often fail to find our voice and to speak our truth

• Abortion, miscarriage, and/or still birth

• Challenges with fertility 

• Shame around the womb, menstrual cycle and sexuality 

• Physical womb health challenges such as fibroids, cysts, painful menstrual cycles, and cervical dysplasia

• Difficult or traumatic experiences from giving birth 

• Difficult or traumatic experiences from one’s own birth 

• Religious / Catholic programming around the body and sexuality 

• One’s own experiences in the womb of their mother 

• Early memories of adoption 

• One’s relationship to the mother line 

• One’s relationship to receiving, self- worth, and relationship to the feminine 

The Power of the Womb 

“In the past and in present-day indigenous traditions, women have known that the womb houses the greatest power a woman possesses: the power to create on all levels. Utilized in the process of giving birth, this power of creation can also be tapped in the birth of projects, careers, personal healing, spirituality, and relationships. However, because the womb stores the energetic imprint of every intimate encounter--loving or not--the creative voice of the womb is often muffled or absent altogether, affecting the emotional, mental, and spiritual health of women and their relationships…” ~ Anaiya Sophia

What does a womb healing session look like? 

I use the modalities of EFT (Tapping) and Multidimensional Timeline Healing where we travel into memories that are ready for healing. We drop into the space of the womb, access the subconscious and compassionately connect with your younger self or past self to heal the moments of challenge or trauma. We will then allow those memories to be re-lived in a new way, and imprint the new core beliefs into your womb space.

How do I know it would be helpful for me? 

Consider these journaling questions to see if a womb healing session may be helpful for you. If you feel a “charge” come up around any of these questions, it’s a sign that a womb healing session could be calling to you…

• When did I not honor my own boundaries?

• When was the first time I felt violated?

• Did I ever feel shame around my sexuality?

• Did I ever feel shame around my menstrual cycle? 

• How do I feel about being a woman?

• Have I had any physical health challenges related to the womb? What could they be telling me?

• What difficult memories are ready to be healed?

• Do I feel worthy and enough? 

• Have I had any abortions or miscarriages that I may still be holding grief around?

• What was my experience of giving birth? 

• Do I know anything about being in the womb or my own birth?

• What's my relationship to my mother?

• When do I struggle speaking up for myself or asking for what I want?

• How do I feel about charging for my work?

• What holds me back from fully expressing myself?

What are the benefits of womb healing? 

• Helping women regain connection to their creativity

• A deeper sense of self-worth and confidence 

• Freedom in self-expression 

• Living free from shame 

• Creating new powerful beliefs around receiving and self-worth 

• Improved relationship to children 

• Empowered relationship to the masculine 

• Empowered relationship to sexuality

• Healing physical health related to the womb 

• Recognizing that you and your voice matter 

• A deeper ability to receive, often leading to earning more money 

• Improved relationship to the masculine and ability to trust men, leading to improved relationships and ability to call in love 

• Finding one’s voice and ability to speak up and set boundaries 

This work is a deep calling for me, something I have been holding space for, for lifetimes. It is a true honor to work with women in this way, and to witness the passage of a woman reclaiming her connection to her womb and power.

If you’d like to explore working together, please feel free to sign up below.

Learn More About Womb Healing Sessions

Book a complimentary call to connect

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~ Book MY session NOW ~

100 | Honey Bee Wisdom & the Sacred Feminine

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Welcome to the 100th episode of Rising Women Leaders. It’s been almost 5 years of releasing content to you, there’s so much we’ve learned, so many women we’ve had the honor of speaking to on the podcast, and so many sisters we’ve connected with on the journey of starting this community…

In celebration of 100 episodes, we invite you to join us on our Patreon with a donation of $1, $3, $5, $10 an episode to support us to grow our impact and spread our mission to share women’s voices and allow the Feminine to lead the way to reestablish balance in a new paradigm… Make a donation here: patreon.com/risingwomenleaders

~

In this episode we talk with natural beekeeper Ariella Daly about the connection between the honey bees and the sacred feminine. Join us as we dive into the mysteries of Priestesses of Melissa and Delphi, the power of beauty and the natural world, the role the honey bees are playing on our planet, healing the womb and our bodies, eros and sacred sexuality and how to connect more deeply with and be a steward for the bees and for Mother Earth. 

In this episode we discussed:

• How the bees found Ariella

• The connection between the bees and womb healing, eros and life force energy

• What we can learn from the bees

• How the bees & the priestesses are here holding a similar frequency

• Grief, loss and dark nights of the soul & how we can connect with the Earth to move through initiations & the unknown

• What gives Ariella hope & helps her get out of bed in the morning

• The biggest fear she is facing in her life

• Ariella’s journey & longing to become a mother

• The importance of awe & beauty

• Ariella’s offerings of dreamwork & bee apprenticeship

Stay in Touch with Ariella:

• Website

• Instagram

• Dreaming with Bees

• Betwixt and Between

• To Be Acquainted (Intro to Honey bees)

More Links in this Episode:

• The Song of Increase by Jaqueline Freeman

• Learn more about the evolution of bee shamanism and Ariella’s work

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Ariella Daly is a natural beekeeper living in Northern California.  She fell in love with bees in 2010, when a swarm of wild bees moved into the wall behind her bed. Soon after, she began top bar and warré beekeeping.

Ariella teaches and speaks about natural beekeeping, the honey bee organism, and the human relationship to bees. She believes that through learning to listen to the bees, we are learning to heal our own disconnect from the natural world.

Her work with bees is also informed by a decade studying European bee-shamanism with the Lyceum in England. This tradition holds the honey bee as its central motif and ally. Ariella works with bees on both a practical, oneiric and intuitive level, encouraging people to explore the world of bees through the use of all of our senses.

Five Core Wounds of the Priestess & How to Heal Them with Meredith Rom

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*Enrollment is Open for the Rising Women Leaders Priestess Initiation

While I was preparing for my recent webinar, The Role of the Priestess in the Modern Age, it became clear to me that there were 5 core wounds that have consistently held back the women I’ve worked with from activating their soul gifts and creating world change.

This conversation was originally aired on the Vital Mother Podcast with Jillian Anderson.

What came through in our conversation felt so powerful that I wanted it to reach more women and decided to share it with you today on Rising Women Leaders.

In this episode we discuss:

• How Jillian and I met

• The importance of not giving an F or shrinking to keep others comfortable

• What is a Priestess? What does it mean to be a Priestess?

• The 5 Wounds of the Priestess and how they may be affecting how you’re showing up to and for your calling

• What EFT is, and why it’s effective at healing unresolved trauma

• How to navigate the fear of being seen, the fear of being judged, and more!

• A gift I received from my motherline

Enrollment is now open for the Rising Women Leaders Priestess Initiation

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5 Core Wounds of the Priestess

The Fear of Being Seen

For many women, the fear of being seen lives in our cells, in our DNA, from our ancestry and from past lives when it literally was not safe for women to be seen as powerful.

From the witch hunts across Europe, to the days of Jesus and Mary Magdalene for women of the past who were healers, natural born leaders, or those who chose to speak up for change, there was a very real threat of being stoned or killed.

In the past, it was not safe for women to shine their light, to be powerful, or to speak up.

Even though for many of us now, it is safe to share our voices, this wound can activate any time we try to public speak, record a video, make a post on social media, or be seen in the public eye.

So how do we heal it? I’ve found again and again, for this wound, the healing balm is sisterhood.

To have women in your life who have your back, to feel the support of your sisters behind you, really makes a woman feel safe to take a step forward. Because then, even if she fails, she will have a team of sisters ready to love her, support her and encourage her to stand back up and try again.

The Fear of Being Judged 

There’s a lot of stigma around the word Priestess, I even felt a visceral fear before sharing publicly that I was one.

Being a healer, being different, or even just being spiritual can often feel ostracizing.

Whenever someone stands out against the social norm, there is the fear of being judged, and losing love from others.

Think back to what it was like in high school, that deep desire to want to fit in, to conform to a mold, it’s very painful to be different and go against status quo. 

The healing balm for this wound: to call upon the fiery goddesses of Kali and Sekhmet.

When we activate our energy of fire, cut away what is not serving and create strong boundaries, we are able to care less about what others think of us.

It also helps to ask, “What’s really more important to me?” When we feel deeply connected to our dharma and mission, it’s so much easier to stay clear and focused on our goal.

Isolation & Feeling Alone

Another wound so many women who feel called to the Priestess Path carry is the fear of being alone.

The feminine is collaborative. It is all about community, and working together. And look what has happened in our modern society - so many of us are alone in our homes, working to further our own individual goals rather than working towards a greater good of the whole.

But we are meant to be together. To work together. It can feel so painful doing it on our own that we don’t even take a step forward.

The healing balm for this one of course, is community. 

In the Rising Women Leaders Priestess Initiation I’ll be guiding each of the women to begin women’s circles in their communities. We’ll also be joining together in likeminded community support online over ten months, and then together in person for our closing retreat.

We need more safe spaces and community for women to be joining together, and sometimes we need support in order to make it happen!

Feeling Unworthy or “Not Enough”

This is literally what the patriarchy and capitalist society wants you to feel in order to sell you things. 

When we feel unworthy or not enough, we most certainly won’t be able to believe in our power. We most certainly won’t feel that our voice matters enough to speak up and create change in the world.

Recently I got a text from a dear sister sharing photos of a speaking engagement she did about climate change. However, after sending the photos, before I could even celebrate her accomplishment she said, “I shouldn’t have worn that, I look fat.”

We have been so indoctrinated to feel bad about our bodies. To feel unworthy. To feel “not enough”

Think about how much of an energy drain that is.

What if we devoted even a sliver of the energy we spend feeling bad about our bodies to meditation, service or activism…?

How much do you think we would be able to shift? 

Society telling us we are unworthy or not enough is just another way to hold back the feminine, suppress our voices, and make us feel small.

Do you want to play into that old story?

To heal this old story it’s helpful to let the voices come to light in a safe space, where you can have your greatness reflected back to you from a friend, mentor or guide.

It’s also so helpful to rewire core beliefs around unworthiness with Tapping/ EFT, something I share in my work with my clients.

Being Too Highly Sensitive

In truth, being highly sensitive is a superpower.

But the shadow side of it causes us to feel stuck, stay in bed, and maybe not be able to move forward at all. For many being highly sensitive can feel like a wound, but it doesn’t have to be this way.

Feel it all. Feel the grief of the world, but don’t wallow in it. Then it becomes self-absorbed. When we shift our focus from being so much on ourselves and our grief, we can take action on what really matters to us.

It also helps to know how to create energetic boundaries.

Grounding Cord:

To begin, imagine sending a grounding cord from your root or sacral chakra down to the center of the Earth. Notice the color, the texture. Imagine the grounding Earth energy helping you feel more anchored.

You can send anyone else’s energy you may have picked up down the grounding cord, imagine the hot, molten core of the Earth transmute the energy immediately.

Golden Egg Meditation For Cleansing Your Aura:

From the top of your head, imagine a golden stream of light down the front of your body and up the back of your body. Imagine it continuing to cycle. Then from the top of your head imagine a golden stream of light down the back of your body and up the front. Do this again for moving down the right side and up the left. And then from the head down the left and up around the right. Notice if you feel any places that have been compromised.

Then send a golden stream of light from your heart around the right side of your body, to the left. And again from the left to the right. Now imagine these golden streams expanding and merging with each other until you are completely contained within a golden egg.

Imagine a golden rain shower over your whole aura to cleanse it.

For Boundaries:

After completing the golden egg meditation, imagine a royal blue color surrounding your golden egg. Royal blue is the color of protection and boundaries. You can then place a violet flame around the royal blue, and declare out loud that any negative energies that are not yours will be instantly transmuted in the violet flame.

A more quick clearing exercise I use often is below:

Simple, Quick Clearing:  Repeat this out loud, “When I take 3 deep breaths and clap my hands 3 times I declare any energy that’s not mine will leave me, any energy that is mine, that I may have lost will return to me.” Then take your deep breaths and clap your hands 3 times.

Feeling the call of the Priestess?

Rising Women Leaders Priestess Initiation

If any of these “core wounds” resonate with you, we’d love to hear in the comments below.

091 | Sacred Birth, Rhythm & Raising Women's Voices with Hope Medford

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After touring for years around the world with Nahko & Medicine for the People, Hope Medford decided to have a baby. In this episode, Hope and I discuss her journey of becoming a doula and midwife, what it has been like to attend over 450 births and her experience of performing in front of thousands as drummer for Nahko & Medicine for the People.

There’s something about being with a woman giving birth that just doesn’t even compare to performing on stage in front of thousands of people…

In this episode we discussed: 

• Hope’s first experience attending a birth at 19 years old 

• Her journey to becoming a midwife and experience of attending births

• The benefits of water birth 

• How Hope first felt called to the drum

• Hope’s journey to becoming a mother and giving birth to her daughter at home in water

• Raising women’s voices and how we can lift each other up

• The energy of the Big Island of Hawaii and MAnaFest, the festival she puts on each year there in honor of the sacred feminine

Connect with Hope and find out more about her work by visiting her website: www.sacredbirthpath.com

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Hope is a creative force.
Following spirit and serving humanity as her guides, Hope has walked many paths flowing from & returning to the same source.

Hands in the dirt, beating drumskin, brushing color across canvas, holding a newborn babe, or gathering the tribe; Hope thrives when steeped in raw, fresh energy pulsing around her. She is a visionary who sees the positive direction she wants the world to move toward, and takes the steps she can to manifest it.

Touring Internationally and playing drums with Nahko and Medicine for the People since they were first heard of, Hope and Nahko shared a chemistry and frequency which catalyzed Medicine for the People to catapult from busking in the streets to performing in front of well over a hundred thousand people in a few short years. Nahko's music has a message that served as a call to the global conscious community for justice, truth talking, and positive social change. We were a part of a very special movement. Our music was bringing people together who were healing and wanting to make the world better.
To Hope, that was one more step in her journey.

Before that, Hope was a midwife, assisting over 450 births, primarily holistic home and water births, in Africa, Bali, and the US. Protecting the next generation has always been sacred and close to her heart. Birth is the moment a fresh soul enters the world and a woman transforms though an extraordinary rite of passage to become a mother. Hope has always felt honored to spend endless hours by a woman's side in her most primal and powerful birthing moments. The humility and awe in holding humanity in its first breaths have given Hope a deeper connection, compassion, and grounding in life. This has inspired her to work to raise awareness about families' birth options and the importance of their choices. Hope created Artemis Healing Arts education program and taught natural birth classes in Peru, Brazil, Bali and at Findhorn Ecovillage, in Scotland, as well as in the US.

For Hope, the drum has always been a tool of spirit. Her first teacher was Babatunde Olatunje, who encouraged her to keep playing, and to always play with love. Drums have taken her around the world; Hope studied with teachers in Brazil, Peru, and West Africa. She shared the drum with children in India and taught rhythm to youth groups in Guatemala. Hope has taught over 2,500 students of all ages; she uses drums to facilitate empowering women's voices in workshops and confidence building with at-risk youth groups. Drums are a powerful connection to our ancestors. As ancient healers have always known, when infused with positive vibrations & intentions, drums are potent medicine.

Hope's connection to nature began as a child and continues to flourish. Hope co-founded an urban non-profit permaculture education site, Tryon Life Community Farm. Hope coordinated the education program for years, teaching sustainability techniques such as natural building, permaculture gardening, social ecology, and the arts. Hope participated in the Global peace walk for 8 years. She later served for 3 years on the Board of Directors of Honor the Earth, the environmental justice non-profit protecting indigenous lands in North America, founded by Winona La Duke and supported by the Indigo Girls. Most recently, Hope has allied with the protectors of Mauna Kea, who currently have been standing in peaceful protest for months to prevent development on sacred indigenous land in Hawaii.

Much of her passion is expressed in rich color and paint. Painting since she was a child, Hope has experimented with nearly every artistic medium she could get her hands on. As a result, many of her works are mixed media, often incorporating wood, feather, stone, metal, pencil, marker, watercolor, and acrylic - integrating them into delicate lines and powerful bold swaths of color to tell a story of women's power, strength and beauty. Creating images of empowered women has been a life long devotion; in response to being raised in a world where women have not been treated fairly or equally to men, and the earth has been ravaged due to this imbalance between masculine and feminine forces.. Her art is currently shown at the beautiful Wild Heartist Gallery in Hilo, Hawaii.

Hope's Musical Journey continues forward, she has recorded 3 solo albums, and her sound has been described as 'hypnotic world beat with maternal soul'. Recently when Hope evacuated Hawaii in the 2018 lava flow, she temporarily relocated to the Blue Ridge Mountains where she began a new musical project, a trio of women called CedarWing, described as 'world soul folk with a groove'. CedarWing recently recorded their first album which has not yet been released! ...wait for it!!

Hope co-founded MAnaFest music, arts & education festival in Hawaii in 2015, inspired by the transition from touring full time with Nahko, to giving birth to her daughter. While playing at festivals across the world, Hope recognized the imbalance of the number professional male performers to female. She is committed to helping women find their voice and share it! MAnaFest is a festival that honors the sacred feminine; it is run by women, featuring over 25 female performers, 25 workshops led by women, 5 female live artists, dancers, ceremony, red tent, grandmothers council and more- all on the beautiful grounds of tropical permaculture retreat center and spa! MAnaFest is inclusive of all people, everyone is welcome. There is a grandfathers council and purple tent to honor men and gender fluid community. 2020 Clear Vision is the theme of this upcoming 5th annual MAnaFest Jan 24, 25 & 26 - Join us! (manafestival.org)

Hope loves to teach and give back to her community. Join her on the Big Island of Hawaii for one of her upcoming juicy workshops:

Connect with Hope and find out more about her work by visiting her website: www.sacredbirthpath.com

058 | The Art of Allowing & Priestess Rising with Marin Bach-Antonson

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It is a great honor to introduce you today to a personal guide and mentor of mine, Marin Bach-Antonson. 

For the last year I have been participating in a 13 gateway Priestess Initiation Program led by Marin. It has been a truly transformational experience to embody principles of the sacred feminine in every area of my life. 

In this conversation, Marin shares about the role of the Priestess, the rise of the feminine in our collective consciousness and one of the most simple and profoundly life-changing practices we can bring into our life right here and right now.

"When you allow those feelings to be exactly as they are, then you have access to the feelings. You are not pushing the feelings down...you aren't trying to make them different,  yoga them away, journal them out, or juice fast them into dissolving. You're just being with them because you are allowing them. The only way out is through. It's the feeling of our feelings that ultimately gets us to the other side of them."

In this episode we discussed:

• How Marin found herself on the Priestess path
• The 4 stages of feminine awakening
• Allowing: why it's the highest expression of the divine feminine
• A key secret to manifestation
• Marin's personal practice for manifesting abundance
• The archetype of the Priestess and how it is showing up in the collective
• Marin's experience with Mary Magdalene
• How to connect to your Dharma

Stay in touch with Marin:

• Website
• Facebook
• Instagram

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Marin Bach-Antonson is a women's spiritual coach, soul catalyst and creator of the Priestess Rising Initiation Program, a leadership program for women ready to embody their radiance, lead from the heart and claim their role on the forefront of the feminine awakening movement. She has over 20 years experience crafting ritual, leading red tents and bringing women together in sister circles which she believes is part of the new paradigm and how we western women are meant to change the world.You can find her at www.priestessrising.com

Is There a Priestess Awakening Within You?

Have you always felt a connection to your intuition but a longing to further develop your trust in it? 

Do you ever find yourself having vivid, even prophetic dreams?

Do you love the space of ritual and authentic sharing, but wish for even more of it in your life?

Do you ever feel connected to ancient Egypt, Mary Magdalene, Mother Mary or Isis without even really knowing why?

Do you believe in past lives, and the possibility that you may have been a Priestess before?

There is an awakening happening in many women at this time.

We are beginning to remember.

For the last few years, I have been remembering this part of myself ~ the Priestess. The wayshower. 

A woman here to birth a new paradigm. 

I've been stepping more and more into an embodiment of service. 

Becoming a sacred chalice for the divine. Embodying the sacred feminine. 

Allowing. Trusting. BEING. 

We are here to awaken our collective consciousness. We are creating more unity in a culture that has been out of balance for a very long time...

Are you remembering?

Here are a few signs there is a modern day priestess awakening within you...

Your Calling is to be of Service

To be a leader, you must first learn to serve. —Jennie Mira

The priestess is not a teacher or leader on a pedestal, but rather, she is of the highest service. She is in service to her community and to her calling. Being of service is not about placing anyone above or below, but rather creating a mutual relationship of respect between the priestess and the women she facilitates and serves.

Her work is to become a channel, a vessel to serve the highest good of the divine. She must maintain a practice of self-care to be the most present and abundant in her ability to serve and become a channel.

Many women fantasize about a priestess wearing flowing robes, crowns and using magical tools, but in reality the priestess is the last one there at the end of the ritual, prepared to scrape the candle wax off the floor...

You are Highly Intuitive

The priestess uses practices such as writing, dancing, movement, meditation, self-care and alone time to hone her ability to listen to intuition. Our intuition is like a muscle that heightens when we pay attention to it. The more she can quiet the busyness of her mind, the more access she will have to the guidance of the divine and be able to step into the role of a channel to those in need.

You Seek Out Ritual in Your Daily Life

Rituals infuse magic, intention and sacredness into our daily lives. A ritual can turn a mundane act done without awareness into a sacred act with clarity and purpose. Slowing down to say a blessing before a meal changes the experience. Meditation, singing, or lighting a candle imbues a moment of peace and serenity into a busy day.

Ritual can also be a healing space where women come together to honor a specific purpose. These rituals may honor transitions, letting go, grieving, the lunar cycle or the change of seasons. Participating in ritual has been one of the most healing ways to mark a big transition in my life. Ritual has provided a space for me to be fully seen, acknowledged and supported by my sisters. After participating in ritual, I feel more confident and courageous to share myself with the world.

You Feel Drawn to Sync with the Moon

In ancient times, women slept in tribes, often under the stars and the moon. Their menstrual cycles were in sync with each other and with the lunar cycles: often bleeding at the new moon and ovulating at the full moon.

You may begin to be more in tune to the natural world and notice energy levels rise and fall. Going out to socialize will make more sense with the heightened energy of ovulation and/or the full moon and slowing down to nest will feel perfect at the new moon. For a modern day priestess, creativity, energy levels and social needs begin to flow in tandem with the moon and tides.

You Are Highly Sensitive

A priestess can feel the energies of the room and has a heightened ability to feel other people's emotions. This can be difficult for highly sensitive women because the world may sometimes feel like "too much."

As a highly sensitive person, you may feel alone in a world of extroverted and gregarious people, however we often forget that heightened sensitivity is a gift. You can fuel your feelings and emotions into writing, singing, and listening with a deeper level of compassion for others.

You Are Naturally Drawn to Holding Space

The twenty-first century priestess becomes the container who helps create sacred space wherein women can connect with the Goddess within. —Ruth Barrett

A priestess is a space-holder. She creates the space for others to show up as they are. Have you noticed that people turn to you to guide them through an experience? Holding space is not about planning or knowing what to do or say. It is about becoming present to the moment. All that is needed is to tune into the energy of the person or the group; to listen and ask for guidance within.

But to be honest, the Priestess path is not always glamorous or easy. It involves initiation, it is an invitation to continually respond to life with love. To welcome both the light and the dark. 

And it is most certainly not a path to be walked alone. 

For the last month I have been calling together women who are remembering. 

Women who feel the call of the Priestess, and ready to honor the path of the sacred feminine within themselves and in the world.

This is the last week of enrollment for The Sovereign Circle. This 9-month feminine leadership initiation and high priestess sisterhood provides the container and sacred space for you to remember this path. 

Are you ready? To step into community? Ritual and collaboration? To feel the web of a supportive sisterhood?

There are only a couple more days available to schedule a free call with me. I'd love to learn more about you and explore the possibility of joining us. 

There is an affordable monthly payment plan to participate. On the call I'll walk you through the curriculum, call dates and more details. It will be a space to get to know each other better and you can feel into if this would be an aligned next step for you. 

Do you feel the call of the Priestess?

I don't have plans to lead a program like this again until next year..

Now's the last chance.

Book a time to speak here.

With love, 
Meredith

Seven Signs You're A Modern Day Priestess

When I was growing up and heard the word "priestess," I thought of boring sermons at church, wearing clothes I didn't feel comfortable in and being forced to sit quietly when I wanted to play outside. I didn't know much about what it meant to be one other than it was probably the female version of a "priest." As a playful young girl, the thought of becoming a female priest sounded pretty mundane.

Then one day, a friend wrote out my numerology. It was the number eleven, which also breaks down to two. In tarot, the eleven (or two) corresponds to the archetype of the High Priestess. She told me in ancient times, they were known for having a heightened contact to other realms through intuition and dreams. The community would seek counsel from them to know what actions to take in their lives.

I thought about my life and how I had always had a heightened sense of intuition; of being able to feel into a situation in order to make a decision. I thought of how friends were naturally drawn to me for guidance and consolation during difficult times.

Maybe I was a priestess after all.

Over a few months, I felt more and more connected to this archetype and dove into books and articles on the topic. I began to see: this modern day mystic lives anything but a mundane life. Her life is rich in dreams, intuition, ritual, feminine leadership and a connection to the divine.

Here are seven signs there is a modern day priestess awakening within you:

Your  Calling is to be of Service

To be a leader, you must first learn to serve. —Jennie Mira

The priestess is not a teacher or leader on a pedestal, but rather, she is of the highest service.  She is in service to her community and to her calling.  Being of service is not about placing anyone above or below, but rather creating a mutual relationship of respect between the initiate and the women she serves.

Her work is to become a channel, a vessel to serve the highest good of the divine.  She must maintain a practice of self-care to be the most present and abundant in her ability to serve and become this channel.

Many women fantasize about goddesses wearing flowing robes, crowns and using magical tools, but in reality to stand in this role, one must be prepared "to be the last one in the rented hall, scraping candle wax droppings with a razor blade."  ~ Ruth Barrett

You are Highly Intuitive

She uses practices such as writing, dancing, movement, meditation, self-care and alone time to hone her ability to listen to her intuition. Our intuition is like a muscle that heightens when we pay attention to it. The more we can quiet the busyness of the mind, the more access we will have to the guidance of the divine and be able to step into this role and be a channel for those in need.

You Seek Out Ritual in Your Daily Life

Rituals infuse magic, intention and sacredness into our daily lives. A ritual can turn a mundane act done without awareness into a sacred act with clarity and purpose. Slowing down to say a blessing before a meal changes the experience. Meditation, singing, or lighting a candle imbues a moment of peace and serenity into a busy day.

Ritual can also be a healing space where women come together to honor a specific purpose. These rituals may honor transitions, letting go, grieving, the lunar cycle or the change of seasons. Participating in ritual has been one of the most healing ways to mark a big transition in my life. Ritual has provided a space for me to be fully seen, acknowledged and supported by my sisters. After participating in ritual, I feel more confident and courageous to share myself with the world.

Your Internal Clock is Synced with the Moon

In ancient times, women slept in tribes, often under the stars and the moon. Their menstrual cycles were in sync with each other and with the lunar cycles: bleeding at the new moon and ovulating at the full moon.

You may begin to be more in tune to the natural world and notice energy levels rise and fall. Going out to socialize will make more sense with the heightened energy of the full moon and slowing down to nest will feel perfect at the new moon. For a modern day priestess, creativity, energy levels and social needs begin to flow in tandem with the moon and tides.

You Are Highly Sensitive

You may notice how you can feel the energies of a room and have a heightened ability to feel other people's emotions. This can be difficult for highly sensitive women because the world may sometimes feel like "too much."

In my last program, one of the women "came out" as a HSP (highly sensitive person) and nearly all the others spoke up to share how much they related to and supported her. As a highly sensitive person, you may feel alone in a world of extroverted and gregarious people, however we often forget that heightened sensitivity is a gift.  You can fuel your feelings and emotions into writing, singing, and listening with a deeper level of compassion for others.

You Have Prophetic Dreams

Have you ever dreamt something and realized it became your reality a week later? A feminine mystic often turns to her dreams for guidance. Dreams are a powerful place to explore questions in your life and to connect to the desires of your subconscious self.

One practice I use often is re-entering dreams. When you are unsure of how to decipher the symbols or occurrences of a dream, close your eyes and imagine yourself back in the space. Then go to characters and objects one at a time and ask, "What do you have to show me?" You will probably be surprised with the answers your subconscious comes up with.

You Are Naturally Drawn to Holding Space

The twenty-first century priestess becomes the container who helps create sacred space wherein women can connect with the Goddess within. —Ruth Barrett

An initiate can also be a space-holder. She creates the space for others to show up as they are. Have you noticed that people turn to you to guide them through an experience? Holding space is not about planning or knowing what to do or say. It is about becoming present to the moment. All that is needed is to tune into the energy of the person or the group; to listen and ask for guidance within.

Rising Women Leaders ~ Way of the Priestess Initiation Program

In the comments, I'd love to hear what a "priestess" means to you and how can you embody this role in your daily life?

---

Frequently Asked Questions:

How to Become One

If you are feeling an inner calling, chances are you have walked this path in many lifetimes. Becoming this archetype is about remembering your inherent sacredness and showing up as a vessel for the divine, to be of service to Creator, Great Spirit, God, Goddess energy and one’s community.

Priestess Defined

In modern times the noun “Priestess” is the title of a woman who has studied and trained, and has gained experience as a spiritual leader, spreading the knowledge of the spiritual teachings she has learned and embodied. She teaches from her direct experience and the journey itself of becoming has shaped her and prepared her for this role.

It helps to have community and guidance on the path of remembrance, to have a container of initiation with other sisters to claim your role and share your vows on the path, but one can also self-initiate. There is no one way for one to become this archetype, however reading books, and joining a program with a guide you resonate with can be very helpful on the path.

What’s a High Priestess?

This is one who has walked the path long enough to have gained deep experience and knowledge in service, ritual facilitation and leadership skills.

In ancient times these wise women were often born into royal families in places such as Crete, Egypt and Anatolia. The rituals they performed ensured fertility and prosperity for the villages. They were prepared for their role since childhood and were educated for religious roles and duties.

In modern times the noun “Priestess” is the title of a woman who has studied and trained within a lineage, and has gained experience as a spiritual leader, teacher or facilitator to create ritual and spread the knowledge of the spiritual teachings she has embodied through direct experience.

How to Cultivate Energy of this Role

In order to cultivate this energy, one must first find a state of empty presence. Emptying the busy-ness of the mind by listening to the breath allows one to develop the sensitivity needed to listen to the quiet whispers of the heart and soul. Underneath the surface of our thoughts, there is a deeper knowing, an intuition that exists. 

The body is the vessel, the chalice, to receive higher wisdom and to bring that wisdom to those around her. For some people this will look like emanating a spiritual frequency, while for others it may look like having a spiritual business, being a healer and a guide for others.

We often brings women together to facilitate women’s circles and rituals, especially for the High Holy Days of the Year: The Winter Solstice, Imbolc, Spring Equinox, Beltane, Summer Solstice, Lammas, Autumn Equinox and Samhain.

You may feel highly intuitive, deeply connected to nature and tuned into the cycles of the moon. One can cultivate the energy of this role by spending more time in nature, emptying thoughts, and participating in ritual alone or with others.

Definition: Signs You Are Called

She is here first and foremost to serve. She brings the formless into form through deep listening and communion with the divine.

She is here to raise the collective consciousness and to contribute in her own unique way, becoming a frequency of divine love.

She is here to anchor the frequency of the divine feminine, to restore balance on our planet and support ascension with an energetic shift.

There are so many ways you can serve during this time of great evolution and awakening, read this article to learn six pillars of this sacred path.

But it also can be very lonely to walk this path. Do you ever struggle with the fear of being seen? The fear of being judged? Of being isolated and alone? Or being too highly sensitive? If so, read this article to learn how to heal these wounds.

Where to Find One in Modern Day Life

You may be surprised to discover these mystics exist even in your community. More and more women are awakening to their truth and long to come together as we did in ancient times.

While you can travel to a place like Bali to meet someone in an ancient lineage like Ida Resi Alit, you can also look in your community for women’s moon circles and gatherings honoring the High Holy Days to find other women feeling called to this Path. (Sometimes even just a facebook events search or google search can lead you to connect with more women on the path). Women who are walking the path of the Initiate are often offering these types of circles publicly or online. 

You can also join a virtual community like the Rising Women Leaders Initiation program and book a free call to see if our community could be a good fit for the next steps on your path.

What is the Initiation Path?

This path includes the initiations one walks through in their everyday life to be shaped into a spiritual leader. In ancient times we were brought to mystery schools to learn the sacred arts, including skills such as temple dance, ritual facilitation, energy healing, tarot, developing psychic abilities, dream interpretation, sacred touch, medicine making, herbalism, nature communication, astrology, meditation, astral travel, moon wisdom, leadership skills, yoga and spiritual study, immaculate conception, essential oil making, the art of anointing, midwifery, etc.

However today, we don’t have these ancient mystery schools set up in the same way. When we feel the call, we have to look for the signs in our life to lead us on the path, because often there is not someone telling us where to go or how to hone our skills. Although one can feel lonely or lost at times, we can also see everything in life as our mystery school to learn, grow and ascend. One can also join a program, or apprentice with a teacher to learn these sacred arts.

How to Answer the Call if You Feel It

The path to becoming begins with a calling. You begin to hear a quiet inner voice speaking to your spirit, awakening you to the knowledge that your life has a purpose. Chances are you have walked this path for a very long time, and your soul begins to remember.

When you hear the word, “Priestess,” there is a familiarity, a curiosity that is awakened. Becoming is a deep and devotional process of learning how to serve in connection with Source, the Divine, the Goddess, all that is.  Sometimes this includes becoming familiar with the Dark Goddess energy, which is another facet of the divine feminine.

Spiritual service is about opening our heart, mind and hands and letting the energy of the divine work through us.

For some people, the path is about becoming a frequency, and allowing it to emanate in all that we do. For others, it will look more like a counselor, a guide and a facilitator of ritual and women’s circles.

In any case, walking this path can feel very lonely, and it helps to have guidance, community and mentorship when you feel the call. To answer, it is so helpful to look for others who are walking this path, whether you find them online or in person in your community.

What is Ritual?

Rituals infuse magic, intention and sacredness into our daily lives.  Ritual could be simple such as a womb clearing with a yoni steam, or a blessing way for a mother to be. Ritual could be a time to honor a new phase of the year, or a way to release the old and welcome the new.

Are Goddess Rituals Safe? What Goes on During Ceremony?

While the safety of a ritual depends on the safety of a container and the skill of the facilitator, rituals are generally not only safe but inspiring and transformational.

Ritual often marks what is formally beginning or ending and the purpose of a ritual or ceremony is transformation. People may come together to honor a specific purpose. These rituals may honor transitions, letting go, grieving, the lunar cycle or the change of seasons. 

Ritual can be a healing and powerful way to mark a big transition in life. Rituals and ceremonies provide a space for one to be fully seen, acknowledged and supported. It can initiate a life change or attitude, facilitate a change already in process or name and claim a change or transformation that has already occurred.

Sisterhood Ritual calls upon our intuition, and our ability to improvise and be present in the moment. Symbols are often used to represent the transition - they are a vehicle for human awareness, for us to access this shift or change in the psyche. 

Witnessing or being witnessed is also a powerful part of a group ritual. It is the opportunity to create a supportive space for each other to mark the transition. 

Ritual may also be done on one's own, calling in the witness of spirit and the unseen realms. To become more familiar with the art of ritual, consider joining us in our program

How Do I Know if I Am On the Path?

In ancient times theses healers were often born into royal families and trained in religious duties to be of service in the temples and churches. In modern terms, this woman is one who has walked the path long enough to have gained deep experience and knowledge in service, ritual facilitation and leadership skills.

What Are the Signs of Awakening?

The first sign of an awakening within you is the feeling of a calling of a higher purpose. Certain activities in life may not have the same level of fulfillment, for example working at a job that does not have a deeper meaning. This is a sign your soul is being called to a higher purpose, to serve, to love and to devote one’s life to the divine. The next sign may be that when you hear the word, “priestess,” there is a familiarity, a recognition and inner knowing, born with love. You may feel drawn to the card in the tarot deck, be deeply connected to nature and the moon, or you may be highly intuitive, sensitive, and/or have vivid dreams. 

What Does it Even Mean?

We are here first and foremost to serve. To bring the formless into form through deep listening and communion with the divine.  She is here to raise the collective consciousness and to contribute in her own unique way, becoming a frequency of divine love.  She is here to anchor the frequency of the divine feminine, to restore balance on our planet and support ascension through with an energetic shift.  For some people this may look like facilitating ritual and circles in her community, offering healing sessions, or simply embodying a divine frequency of love.

Is This a Religious Path?

Many people feeling the call consider themselves spiritual rather than religious. However there are traditions that date back to ancient forms of Christianity, Egyptian, Wiccan and Hebrew religions. Modern roles include the ancient lineage of the rose, dating back to Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, and Egyptian goddesses like Isis and Hathor. These goddesses of the ancient past relate to stories of a new earth.

Ancient Egypt

When the royal families ruled ancient Egypt, the female Priests had high roles in the temples. The Pharaoh would seek counsel with the High Priests and would connect to the divine realms and perform ritual on behalf of the villages and royal family. These roles were honored and revered, especially in times of war or famine. Some believe Egyptian goddesses include Isis, Hathor, Sekhmet. Honored female High Priests were depicted on the walls of the temples, and some temples were made in their honor.

Am I One? How to Know

If you feel you were one in a past life, and have a mystical awakening in you now, you may be naturally drawn to the healing arts, ritual and holding space for others. You may be considered “highly sensitive” and may have heightened intuitive or psychic skills. You may have a gift working with essential oils or herbs, have a healing touch in your hands, and/or carry a healing quality that others are drawn to.

What is the Training?

Training is when one begins a program or apprenticeship with an opportunity to develop one’s skills and gifts. Training may include meditation practices, education about ascended masters and goddess guides, participating and leading ritual, learning about the high holy days, creating ritual, holding space, developing intuition, understanding astrology, healing past life imprints and/or sharing one’s vows. Training as a practitioner is an opportunity to learn from someone who has walked the path and can offer guidance along the way. 

What Religions Have Them?

The term Priest is used more often in modern Christianity and religions that carry on a ministry. Many modern day female mystics consider themselves “spiritual” rather than “religious” and practice their skills outside of dogma. Before the official establishment of the Christian religion, some of the holy women in ancient times were female priests, like Anna, the grandmother of Jesus, Mother Mary, and Mary Magdalene. They provided an important service to the overall awakening of the mission of Christ.

Can One Tell the Future?

If you identify with this role, you may have heightened intuitive or psychic gifts, but this is not a necessary skill to be called to the path. In the times of Avalon and ancient Egypt, the rulers would often seek counsel from the priestesses on what to do during times of possible war or famine. We are deeply connected to the dream world and unseen realms and would be able to offer a higher perspective to the events to come.

Can One Get Married?

The question of marriage depends on the lineage and/or religion one enters into. While there were beings who lived a life of celibacy devoted to God, there were also temple practitioners who used sensual energy as a form of healing for men coming back from war. The feminine essence was so soothing to the nervous system it was revered as a healing act in some ancient temples. Today, many modern day female priests choose to marry and have a family while others choose to walk a path married to the divine.

Is it Masculine or Feminine?

While we all have feminine and masculine energy within, the archetype is inherently feminine. Some believe the role is to restore the balance of sacred feminine on our planet; for humanity to channel and live in devotion to Mother Earth, to live connected to Source, to slow down, practice forgiveness, listen, feel and heal our pain rather than be in a constant state of achievement, action and doing. Many believe the essence of the feminine is what the world needs most now to enter into the Golden Age.

What it Means To Be One in Everyday Life

To be a feminine mystic in everyday life is to live a life connected to the divine in each moment. It is to do our daily actions (caring for the body, cooking, cleaning, walking, writing, praying, meditating, talking) in devotion to God/Goddess/all that is. It is to live in a state connected to breath and intuition, honoring the essence of the sacred feminine within. It is to allow what is, to forgive ourselves and others, and to see everyone around us as a soul, a higher consciousness living in a body. 

It is to see life as happening for us not to us. It is becoming the vessel, emptying out in order to receive. It is communing with nature and the divine as one. It is becoming quiet enough inside to listen to the voice of intuition. It is to listen to others with compassion and hold space for letting go and new beginnings. It is to gaze at the stars, to write down our dreams, and honor the cycles of our body and the seasons of the year. It is to leave this world more beautiful than we found it. It is to midwife a shift in consciousness, to welcome a new Golden Age, and emanate a frequency of love to all those around us on our path.

What It Means to Be One Out in the World

We facilitate ritual, embody the spiritual lessons we have learned, and share knowledge through leadership and teaching. One may lead circles and ritual in devotion to the new and full moon and high holy days, lead circle for rites of passage such as a woman’s first menstrual cycle, menopause, birth, death, welcoming a baby into a family, going through a divorce, getting married, leaving home for the first time, and the list goes on. Any big life transition can be honored with ritual, as a way of releasing what was and welcoming what is to come.

High Priestess Tarot

The card is roman numeral II in the major arcana of the tarot deck. (A two or eleven in numerology). It is the card of mystery and psychic wisdom. In Kim Krans, The Wild Unknown Tarot she describes, “She sits in stillness. From there she’s able to access realms others pass by without noticing, the vast world of intuition, dreams and mystery. She uses silence and non-action to harness this power. Sometimes this card appears to remind you to listen more closely to the voice within. Other times it’s a sign to look past the obvious, to find what’s being kept secret or hidden within a given situation. Acknowledge the shadows.” 

When one often pulls this card in the tarot deck, it could be a sign that the path is calling to you. It could also be a sign that a great teacher and leader lives inside of you and is ready to be honored.

The card in Doreen Virtue’s Goddess Guidance Oracle cards reads, “Your wisdom extends back into the far reaches of ancient times. You’ve brought this knowledge forward into your present incarnation, to be a way-shower so that others may benefit from your experiences. Don’t delay in expressing this wisdom. I will assist you in manifesting platforms for your spiritual teaching, whether it’s through teaching by example, or through writing or speaking. All forms of teaching are equally valuable, no matter how many lives you touch.”

Pulling the card of the way-shower may be beckoning you to share your voice, write books or articles, lead workshops, be a role model, look for opportunities to teach, honor your divinity and know that you are a leader.

Use of Divinity Tools and Crystals

She often has a set of tools and crystals she goes to for energetic clearing of a space and amplifying a ritual. Lighting sage, palo santo, or diffusing essential oils can help clear a space before a ritual. Holding quartz crystals can also be very cleansing and purifying. One can wash crystals under the light of the full moon to cleanse and charge them up. One may use feather wands to clear energy, or have sacred stones or talking sticks to use in a ceremony. Divinity tools can be made or found in nature and are also not necessary to facilitate a powerful ritual.

If I Am Called, Can I Become One in the Near Future?

One becomes a way shower through the remembrance and recognition of the essence she holds within. Some people may want more guidance and support on the path, and it can help to join a program like the Rising Women Leaders Initiation program, or find a mentor to apprentice with. To become a wise woman is a lifelong path of devotion and dedication to the divine and the skill of spiritual leadership, ritual and facilitation. If you are just starting on your path, continue reading articles, books, and look for communities where you can learn and practice your inherent gifts. I send all my love on your path of remembrance, and invite you to meet mentors and listen to over 100 episodes about Women’s leadership on the Rising Women Leaders podcast.

Permission to Be Fearless

Last month on the Winter Solstice, I was invited to sing in front of 150 people. I arrived, a little nervous, but confident in my offering. I sat with my harmonium, poised with a microphone near my mouth and my instrument. I welcomed the group into a meditation and began to sing, "Ong Namo Gurudev Namo."

I finished the song feeling proud. I did it, I thought. The moment I had been anticipating for weeks was over. I did it. The brief moment in time felt so surreal.

I realized that if I had been asked to sing in front of a group this size a year ago, I would have been terrified. Expressing myself through my voice, especially singing, has been one of life's biggest challenges and greatest gifts.

I remember struggling to introduce myself in front of a small group of people in high school and freaking out before presentations in college. I always felt like a deer in the headlights and struggled to find my breath and voice.

The fear of sharing my voice was actually what inspired me to become a yoga teacher. I remember admiring my teacher in New York, gracefully walking across the room while powerfully commanding the yogis from one pose to the next. Could I ever be like that? I thought.

I was introduced to the harmonium by another yoga teacher, Kimber Simpkins, who opened and closed every class singing with the harmonium. As I began to use my voice, I felt the vibration in my body and began to discover the sound inside me. As I watched her, confident and poised, I again asked, Could I ever be like that?

Soon after discovering Kimber's classes, I fell in love with a musician. Watching him sing so beautifully in front of a crowd brought out all the insecurities inside me.

Every time I went to watch him perform, I felt more nervous than he did. I realized this fear was telling me something: maybe it was time for me to share my voice. I then discovered this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt:

"Courage is more exhilarating than fear and in the long run it is easier. We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down."

I began to make small steps to face the fear. First, I started teaching yoga classes. Every time I stood in front of the room as a teacher, I became more confident in myself and my voice. Each step I took to face the fear gave me the courage to go further.

I remember the first time I sang in front of my boyfriend, terrified at what he would think. My fingers were shaking on the guitar. I had him close his eyes because I felt so exposed. It was uncomfortable, yes, but I survived, and in the end, I received praise. I felt proud of myself.

That sense of pride kept me going.

My boyfriend encouraged me to step out of my shell. One night, I asked if he would sing with me around the fire at a friend's house. I felt the nervousness arise as I held the guitar, but I sang anyway. It wasn't perfect, but again, I was praised.

A few months later, I was at a full moon ceremony to release fear. As each person spoke, I knew this was the step I needed to take again and again to develop my strength. In the ceremony, I shared the fears I carried around my voice and did the thing that scared me most: I sang with the harmonium in front of the entire group.

There I was, years later, embodying the teachers I had looked up to most.

Every time I faced my fear and shared my voice, a new door opened from the universe. Opportunities and invitations came, and my confidence grew.  Eventually, I was led to the sacred moment at the Winter Solstice to share my voice with more people than I ever had before.

Every step of the way, I was being prepared.

Every step of the way, I had to trust myself that I was ready...

Through that trust, I have seen the universe open doors for me that I am ready for. I see women all around me answering the call to rise up in their power, their divine femininity and their voice. I have answered the call and am now encouraging other women to feed the flames, discover their power and stand strong in their voices.

If you are out there and have ever felt afraid to speak up, afraid to sing, or afraid to share, know that you're not alone.  I've been there and I can tell you from my experience: when opportunity comes knocking, trust in it. The universe is only going to present you with opportunities you are ready for; you can say yes, even when there is fear.

Your voice is ready.

Deep down, you know it is.  All you have to do is say yes.