feminine leader

What an Elephant Taught me About my Fear

 

In the weeks before I left for my trip to India I met a man in San Francisco named Josh. 

We immediately connected over our passion for music, tea, yoga, and astrology.  We spent long mornings chatting together in the three days I had in the city, and in the weeks that followed, we continued our conversation through letters and emails. 

I knew I could have had a promising romance in the States if I stayed, but I chose to follow my dreams, bought my ticket to India and left for Amma’s ashram in Kerala.

To my surprise, two weeks after my arrival, I found a message waiting from Josh in my inbox:

“I bought a flight to visit you!!  I’ll be arriving in just a few weeks.”

I was flattered, but also shocked — “You’re traveling halfway around the world to see me??” 

I had enjoyed our romantic emails in the weeks before I left, but I knew in my heart I was making the trip to India for myself and no one else.  I had so much to discover there and part of me knew I needed to do it on my own.

But then I thought of leaving the safety of the ashram premises (where I had been safely meditating). I hadn’t been outside of the ashram yet and I had no idea how I would feel navigating the trains and buses around the country by myself.  “Wouldn’t it be nice to have this man with you for a sense of security?”

I knew it was safer, more secure, and I was scared of the unknown. 

So I replied, “I’m excited you’re coming!”  Over the days that followed we talked about riding an elephant into the sunset together and watching the full moon rise over the beach on his birthday...

A week before Josh arrived, I felt a strong desire to go out exploring on my own.  I took a train to a nearby beach town and every step of the way surprised myself at how at home I felt making all the decisions by myself.

On the beach a huge elephant walked by on a nearby path.  I went closer to admire it when a man leading it asked, “Do you want to go for a ride on Ganesha?”

“A ride? Me, by myself? Up there?” I thought. I remembered my dreams of riding an elephant with Josh tightly holding my hand as we watched the sunset.

Then for a moment I imagined myself up there on the elephant all by myself, with the breeze on my face, looking down at the world around me. It felt liberating. 

Josh probably wouldn’t mind if I did it on my own, I thought. “Yes, please!” 

I ran closer and waited while one of the Indian men moved his hand over the side of Ganesha’s face and whispered a few words in his ear. He patted Ganesha’s front leg and the elephant bent down. The Indian man advised me to step on his hoof so he could hoist me up. 

I followed his directions and found myself belly down on top of the elephant trying to swing my leg over to the other side. The little hairs on his enormous body brushed against my face.

When I successfully swung my leg to the other side, I sat up slowly, finding my balance. The Indian men were laughing and clapping as I looked around, a little shocked by the new perspective.

The ground was a good ten feet away. I ran my hands over his grey, wrinkly skin. As I found my composure, the shakiness I felt at first began to dissipate.

I sat with poise and confidence like an Indian queen greeting the villagers of her kingdom. 

Then I thought, "I don’t actually need Josh to be here with me to feel safe." I realized a big part of the reason I had initially been so happy to have Josh come visit me was because I had been afraid of being on my own.

The prospect of having a man with me while I traveled to a new country felt safer. But now that I had found my own way from the ashram to this town, I felt fine.

I felt more than fine—I felt confident in myself.

I didn’t need Josh to be there with me to feel safe. I didn’t need him there to ride the elephant, and I didn’t necessarily need him there to travel with me around India.

I still felt excited to see him, but an old, limiting belief had been lifted. I no longer felt a need to depend on a man outside of myself. 

The more steps the elephant took, the more I realized I wasn’t carrying any fear at all, just excitement.

I felt awake, present, and invincible.

I realized that doing the things that scared me brought me fully into the present moment. Once I was doing it, there didn’t seem to be any more fear.

Even more than that, I realized in doing the things that scared me, I walked away with more confidence. I reminded myself, The only way to get rid of my fears, is to simply go out and do what I'm afraid of. 

I had spent so much of my life in fear. I was afraid to speak up in class, afraid to travel on my own, I was even afraid of driving on highways. I always wondered, "How do I gain more confidence?"

I was so busy avoiding the things that scared me that I had never learned the pathway to more confidence was simply doing what scared me.

When I did that, the fear became more familiar, and less scary. Each fear I faced gave me more confidence to face another. 

Deep within myself, I knew if I were to travel on my own for the rest of my time in India, I’d be okay. I needed to ride the elephant by myself to discover that. 

I lowered down closer to the elephant’s ear and whispered, “Thank you Ganesha for clearing this path for me. Thank you for this new wisdom.” 

To find out what happened next you’ll have to keep reading in my book.  Stay tuned to find out how you can receive an early copy...

In the meantime, I’m curious, what fears or limiting beliefs have you been holding?  And what action could you take to live more fully beyond your fears? I'd love to hear in the comments below.

With love,
Meredith

 

How I Married *Myself*

 
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Last month on my birthday in Costa Rica I found myself alone in the ocean performing a ritual of marriage, to myself.  

I had just received a glorious massage and was feeling strong and embodied.  I followed my intuition to submerge myself in the water, and found myself calling in the four directions as my witness, then speaking my vows out loud.  

As soon as I finished speaking, a huge wave washed over me, and it was done.

In the days leading up to this experience, I wrote a blog post for Over the Moon Mag about "How to Marry Yourself," and was happy to have it published last month.   I invite you to check out the article and learn more about my experience below:
~
A few weeks ago, my boyfriend woke up from a dream where he was at his own wedding.  I excitedly listened to him recount the details, wondering if I was going to be in it.  “What did my dress look like? Were we on a beach? A church? In a field?” I wondered.

My daydreams were cut short when he said, “There was no bride. I was there, my family was there, but there was no bride.”

I looked at him, disappointed.

He continued, “Then I looked to the priest and I realized I was the priest. I was the groom AND the priest. I was literally, ‘marrying myself.’”

I’ve heard of self-marriage before but had never felt the call to do it myself. But after hearing this dream from my partner, I began to wonder about my own dreams of marriage.

I realized I had placed a lot of energy on waiting for that “perfect magical moment” when my boyfriend would propose to me and all of my problems would disappear. 

I realized I had placed a lot on the idea of marriage, subconsciously carrying the beliefs:

“When I’m married, then I’ll feel safe.”

“When I’m married, then I’ll be able to take bigger risks.”

“When I’m married, then I’ll feel more complete, knowing I’ve lived out this childhood dream.”

But here I found myself writing this article on the beaches of Costa Rica, a few days before my birthday, where I took myself on a self-love adventure.

I thought to myself, “If I can leave the country and treat myself to this kind of trip, why not marry myself too?”

I realized that even if I do get married one day, wouldn’t it be a good idea if my partner and I had already established a firm commitment first to ourselves?

So I sat down and wrote out my vows. 

I found a ring and created a simple ritual to perform on my birthday. 

The whole process came quite intuitively to me, so I thought I’d share the steps I used in case you feel the call to marry yourself as well…

1.  Write your Vows

Take some time to free write about what commitments you want to make to yourself.  They can be broad or specific.  I chose to keep mine very simple as I wanted to remember them easily and reference them often.  They looked a little something like this:

I vow to honor, love and value you.

I vow to help you feel safe, secure and provided for.

I vow to take care of your body with delicious, home cooked meals.

I vow to give you space to rest and play.

I vow to hold you by the hand to face your fears and encourage you every step of the way.

I vow to be present with you and to listen deeply to your needs.

I vow to live in gratitude for all you are and all you bring to my life.

I vow to love you unconditionally and hold space for your emotions.

I vow to experience the beauty and magic of life by your side.

2.  Adorn Yourself

In some cultures, adornment is seen as a spiritual practice.  I know when I take the time to beautify myself, to put on a new outfit, a little tinted lipgloss and a piece of jewelry I save for special occasions, I feel a deep sense of beauty on the inside as well as the outside. The key here is to FEEL beautiful.  Ask yourself what would that entail…

You can also think about if you want to have a special ring or piece of jewelry to symbolize your vows to yourself.  Maybe you bring new meaning to a piece you already have, or find something new to adorn yourself with.  Then whenever you look at it, you can remember the vows you promised to uphold. 

3.  Create a Ritual

Think about what kind of setting you want to be in when you share your vows.  Do you want to be alone?  Or with people who love and support you?   Do you want to be in nature?  Or in another location with special meaning? 

When you find just the right setting, take a few moments to center in.  Close your eyes and feel your breath.  Take a few moments to call in the directions, or any teachers, guides or angels you feel connected to.  If this is all new to you, you may like to call upon the support of a priestess to officiate the ceremony. 

Then, when it’s time, read your vows out loud.  You may feel more comfortable doing this alone, or in a circle of other women to be seen.  Listen to your intuition.

When you’re done, celebrate, and remember you don’t need anyone or anything outside of yourself to be whole.  It’s all already there.  Sometimes all it takes is a little intention and ritual to remember the love you already have inside.

I’d love to hear if you decide to create your own ceremony, so feel free to let me know how it goes in the comments.  <3

 

My #1 Cure For When I'm Feeling Depressed

 
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A couple weeks ago I was sitting on the beach in Costa Rica and everything on the outside was perfect: the sun was shining, the sky was blue, I was surrounded by palm trees and I knew I had worked hard to take myself on a vacation.  

Then out of no where I started feeling sad.  

"What's wrong?" I wondered.

I turned to my meditation practice, where I was able to watch my sensations and breath without judgement or need to change anything.  I felt much better, afterwards but I could tell, something was still off.

The next day I arrived at the yoga retreat I had traveled all the way to Costa Rica to attend.  As soon as I arrived, my spirits began to lift as I met a beautiful new group of people.  But that evening, I could feel a little bit of sadness still with me.  I decided to let it be.

Then a few days into the retreat I had this super magical moment.  Our retreat leader, Sianna, invited me to play a song on the harmonium.  I walked up to the front of the room and calmly accepted the invitation.  I sang a chant I had been working on at home, and everyone sang with me.  

I walked back to my seat feeling a rush of joy and peace.

I realized that even more than being surrounded by community, eating delicious food and taking care of my body, my soul was yearning to share my gifts.  


It was when I had an opportunity to give back, to do something I loved and also something that was a little scary, that everything changed.  I spent the rest of the week on cloud nine because I had a moment where my soul had been seen.

"Women have a soul need to express themselves."  
~Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

I've always found retreats to be a safe and healing space to practice being in my voice and sharing my gifts, and that's why I created opportunities just like this in the Rising Women Leaders Bali Retreat.

I knew it was important to create a space for community and friendships to form, to have delicious food, and daily yoga, but I also wanted to create opportunities for women to inquire about and discover their innate gifts.

The theme of the week in our Bali Retreat is self-expression:  Expression through song, dance, writing, yoga and ritual.  

Workshops include: a cacao ceremony, how to reframe limiting beliefs, a new moon manifestation ritual, designing your dream life, opening the voice and self-expression through dance (to name a few!).

Applications are only open for 5 more days...until this Friday, April 1st.

If you've been considering joining us, I encourage you to take the leap and apply!

Now if you've been feeling stuck or sad, I'm wondering how can YOU start sharing YOUR gifts?  

Maybe it's time to take out the art supplies, teach a class, read your writing out loud, or cook a meal for someone you love.

Ask yourself:   What do I love?  How can I be seen?  Where can I share and give more of myself?  

It may feel a little scary, unfamiliar or vulnerable, but know that I am right here cheering you on.  I would love nothing more than for you to wake up everyday feeling empowered and alive knowing your soul is being seen and expressed.

With love, 
Meredith

 

6 Lessons Learned From Running A Spiritual Business

 

I’m approaching the two year mark of running my own business and have been reflecting back on how I’ve grown, what challenges I’ve overcome and how I’ve been able to transform through service and doing what I love. 

It all started a few years ago when I asked myself, “What does success look like to me?”  For some it might mean reaching a certain number in their bank account, publishing a book, or receiving an award.  

For me, success is about the depth of the transformation I see in the women I serve, it’s about my ability to continue facing my fears even when I feel self-doubt or resistance, and to have a spaciousness in my schedule that allows me to truly take care of myself and follow my passions.

It hasn’t always been easy, but what I’ve found is if I can consistently come back to these six keys, I will always end my days feeling successful…

1. Vulnerability

We often want to see vulnerability in others but we are afraid to show it in ourselves. Being willing to be vulnerable is actually a courageous act, not a sign of weakness.

Brene Brown says, “You can’t experience the depth of joy and love without experiencing vulnerability…True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world.  Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our own level of self-acceptance.”

Vulnerability creates greater connection and establishes a foundation of trust. 

People can relate to us when we share our whole selves.  I remember when I first started blogging, it was the times I chose to share about my struggles and fears and how I overcame them when students would come up to me after my yoga classes to tell me how much my story helped them. 

The world is craving vulnerable leaders.  Women want to relate to and understand the people they are going to follow.  

Where could you be more vulnerable and share more openly to create greater connection and trust in your life?

2. Generosity

Generosity didn’t always come naturally to me.  I grew up with a mindset of scarcity shown to me so often. But, I saw being in a state of scarcity blocked my flow to receive.

When I became generous, it came back to me in so many ways.  

Generosity also helped in my business.  Even though I didn’t start with a lot of financial resources, I knew I could be generous with my time and my knowledge.  When it came time to announce my first online program, people were ready and waiting to sign up.

Where could you be more generous?  Where may you be holding back your gifts, your time, knowledge or resources?

3.  Gratitude

It can be really easy to get caught up in achieving more, getting more and asking, “What’s in it for me?”  But what really opens us to our own desired feelings and attracting more of what we want, is gratitude.  

When we tap into the feeling of gratitude, and really feel it in our body, we raise our vibration and send signals out to the universe that actually send us more experiences that will create what we feel. 

Take a moment right now to think about three things you are grateful for.  Then say the affirmation, “I have everything I need and I welcome so much more.” 

When you really feel it in your body and make a daily practice of it, just watch the magic that will happen in your life.

4.  Service

When you tap into a vision that is larger than yourself, when you ask, “What kind of world do I want to live in?  How can I help and give back to others?” Fear becomes so much less important. 

When you are so focused onyour goal, that vision, there is no more room for fear.  

We cultivate courage is when the desire of what we do want is stronger than the fear of what we don’t want.  

Courage isn’t about winning or battling over fear, it is becoming very focused in our vision and then going for it.

When you ask, “How can I be of service?” You will be given everything you need to succeed.  

However, when the end goal is to make x amount of money, or get the new car, it’s going to be more of a struggle.  

When that vision has the potential to help so many more people, the universe is going to come in and give you support.

What can you be in service to?  What kind of world do you want to live in?  What is even more important to you than your fears?

5.  Connection to Spirit

When I feel afraid or unsure of what to do next, I go to my meditation practice.  My practice is where I connect to my body’s wisdom, and I become a vessel for where spirit would have me go and what spirit would have me say.  

When we establish a constant connection with our body's wisdom we don't need to look outside of ourselves for guidance or affirmation. We can then connect to a deeper, innate love within. Then we can begin to know our purpose and service in this life and share our gifts generously. Then we can find the courage to face our fears in service to what’s larger than ourselves. 

I do my meditations in a series of 40 days.  I get really clear on the vision I want to create in my life and in the world and I allow my meditation to be in devotion to that vision.

My greatest vision now is to see women all over the world finding this kind of connection and love within. That is where we find the courage to love and take care of ourselves, the courage to live our passions, and express ourselves in service to what we love. 

That is when we naturally inspire those around us and create beautiful change in the world. 

I’ve been creating this Vision by sharing my 40 day practice with others and creating a community of women around the world cultivating the courage to be fully devoted to themselves, to spirit and to sharing their light.

6.  Do what you love - every single day

One day a new woman walked into my yoga class.  I asked her the usual question, “Do you have any injuries I should know about?”  She replied, “Yes, actually I am recovering from several rounds of cancer treatments and surgeries.  I am cancer free now, but I am just trying to get used to this new body I am in.”

As we talked, more people came into the room and laid out their mats, I asked her,  “Do you have any wisdom to share with us?" 

She said, ”I now do something that I love every single day.  Something that makes me happy.  That’s why I’m here at yoga class.” 

Because isn't that we are alive for anyway?  To be happy? To do what we love?  I thought of my own life, and all the little things I had been stressing about all week. 

Yes,I had chosen a career that was my passion, but was I really doing what I loved every singleday?  

I made a vow right then, to let go of all the little worries and fears and re-commit to my joy, my happiness and taking the time every day to do something I loved. 

We all have one precious life.  How are you going to live it?

Now, we all have different versions of success, so wherever you are in your business (or your life) I invite you to ask: What does success look like to me?  What does it feel like?  What is my wildest dream?  

I believe everything you want and desire for your life can be yours.  All you have to do is listen to your intuition and be willing to face your fears, again and again.  

Often the thing we want most in our lives also takes us face to face with what we are most afraid of.  

When you are willing to face those fears and be driven by service, gratitude, and a connection to spirit, we can all create a new vision and a new world. <3