just be

Featured Interview: Going Inward, Following Your Intuition, & Addressing Pain

 
Screen Shot 2019-11-09 at 6.24.50 AM.png

I was honored to be featured this month in an interview by Mackenzie Belcastro. I’ve included the interview below and you can also Read the Full Article Here.

Meredith Rom is an author, yoga teacher, coach, as well as the inspiring voice behind the Rising Women Leaders Podcast. Here we talk about how pain led to her soul's purpose, the life-changing trip to India that acted as a catalyst, and her best tips for tapping into your creativity.

Let's start out with your early years. Could you tell us a bit about how you grew up?

I was a dreamy, joyful child. I loved spending time outside climbing the magnolia tree in our front yard, playing with neighbors after school, making art, and also spending time alone.

Qualities that still ring true to my life today were my love of more “witchy” things - I sometimes made “potions” out of berries and grasses; I loved playing “psychic” with my friends with the Magic 8 ball; I had “tea parties” with stuffed animals; and I loved dressing up and dancing with girlfriends at sleepovers.

I would say our household was progressive, my father is a doctor and cares deeply about environmental protection and policy and my mother is a watercolor artist. Spirituality however was not a primary focus in the house, though I would say my mom found that connection through making her art and my dad found it in nature. Sometimes we went to our local Episcopalian Christian church, but yoga and meditation came into my life later on.

I understand it was a stressful lifestyle that led you to change your life. Could you give us a glimpse into how you were feeling during your graphic design/photography days? What difficulties do you think ultimately led you to say enough is enough?

There were many factors that led to me completely changing the direction of my life. I was living in New York City finishing up school at NYU when physical stress began to manifest in my body. Chronic headaches, muscle pain, and a flare up of cystic acne all made me want to escape my body. Around the same time, I went through a difficult breakup, was finishing school during a recession and had no idea what I really wanted to do with my life. I went to my vices to “numb out” from my discomfort - sugar, alcohol, prescription pills - but soon saw these were not addressing the root of my problem. Something was out of alignment.

While my years in New York City were also filled with self-discovery, fun and friendship, it became clear as time went on that the track I was on—to have a full time job in a high-stress environment, working on the computer for long hours every day—was not for me. After not hearing back from job after job I applied for, I finally took it as a sign and gave myself permission to ask, “If anything was possible what would I want for my life?” That was when I started feeling the intuitive pull to move across the country to San Francisco.

When you first found yoga, were you resistant? Or was it a sort of homecoming of the soul?

It was a homecoming for me. Yoga was definitely hard at first, I was storing so much stress and physical pain in my body in the beginning, and there was no where to run away from it. But the relief I started feeling from going inward like that was immediate, and it became my new source of comfort as my other vices fell away. I always felt connected to spirit - something greater than myself, and finding yoga opened up a whole world of teachings and community that felt like home.

On that note, what would you say to someone who is leading a very stressed out lifestyle, but views yoga/ spiritual modalities as too "woo woo"? How can said person dip their toes in?

We all need to find the tools that work for us. So, I would invite others to keep a curious and open mind, and start looking for the teachers and resources that work best for them. There have been times in my life where I've tried to invite others to the teachings and resources that have worked for me, and have been disappointed when they wound up judging them or brushing them off. But that did show me that we all have our own path, and we need to find the teachers and tools that resonate with us on our own. No one can push that upon anyone else.

The desire has to come from inside of you. If you are open and seeking help to shift your life, pray to be guided to the resources that would be most suited for you, and keep an open, curious mind about what you discover.

I’m only here to be a guide for those that are seeking guidance, and feel a resonance with what I share. I wouldn’t push my beliefs on anyone.

When you took your leap that lead you to India, were there people in your life telling you that this was "crazy"?

Yes there were some people that didn’t understand it, but I didn’t really care. There was a deep calling from within me and I knew everything that unfolded would be exactly what I needed. Luckily, I didn’t feel a push-back from family—or, at least, they didn’t share their worries or fears with me.

I now tell my clients part of embodying the “Queen” archetype is to be fiercely dedicated to our intuition, and to use boundaries when needed.

Sometimes we need to spend less time with people that instill fear or worry into our choices and set better boundaries to stay true to what’s inside.

What was the most interesting or surprising thing you encountered while living in India?

I was surprised by the extremes - it’s one of the most dirty, chaotic places in the world, and at the same time one of the most deeply pure and peaceful. Nothing is hidden there. The light and the dark are all out in the open for everyone to see.

I was very affected seeing the amount of trash in the streets. Although we generate much more trash in the West - we hardly ever really see it because it is whisked away by garbage trucks to be buried in the Earth. In India, you see everything. It’s not clean and tidy like we like to be in the West. It invites you to face the darkness of what we are doing as humans on this planet. The pollution, the trash, the homeless people—it’s all there out in the open. No one is trying to make it more presentable. And yet, amidst all of it, there’s also so much joy and beauty there. The temples are profound. The spirit of life and celebration is everywhere. It’s everything all at once.

It reminds me of duality - how knowing one side of the spectrum truly helps us know the opposite. That’s why I find it so interesting how numbed out our culture is. We cut ourselves off from the dark (with antidepressants, alcohol, drugs, etc) to numb out the pain, the rage, the difficulty. But meanwhile, we are also cutting ourselves off from the light. Pain is, after all, a gateway into our deepest truth.

For someone who feels stressed and disconnected from their inner child, their creativity, and their soul's purpose, what do you recommend they do? Are there particular rituals you would advise said person to begin to bring into his/her life in order to realign their heart and their actions as you have?

Reconnecting with your body would be the first thing I recommend. I believe that is where we store all our deepest wisdom, insight and intuition. So what would it look like to take really good care of your body? To be eating clean food, to exercise regularly, to go to bed early, to let go of the foods that make you feel heavy or stuck, to let go of the activities that make you feel stressed. To find what relaxes your nervous system.

It’s hard to be creative when your nervous system is in a place of fight-or-flight, so first I would say see what you need to feel comfortable and relaxed in your body. For me, that looks like practicing yoga (I love going to classes as well as teaching them) - restorative and yin yoga as well as the more active practice. It also looks like cranial sacral therapy to restore balance in my nervous system, and, again, healthy organic food, walking and running. Personally, I am vegetarian and avoid all cane-sugar. These are the things that help me feel most in tune with my body.

To be creative, we also need to give ourselves empty space, stop absorbing so much information all the time from our phones. We need to let ourselves get to a place of emptiness for creativity to flow.

That can look like meditation, exercise, or another practice I love: morning pages. Try writing 3 pages first thing in the morning. If you have nothing to write, just write “I have nothing to write” until something comes. Write about your dreams. Write about what you desire to happen in your life. Write about the ideas and inspiration coming to you. First we need to create the space for creativity, and then it will all begin to flow.

Finally, how can we learn about the services you offer? And where can we connect with you further?

You can listen to my podcast for free ~ Rising Women Leaders at risingwomenleaders.com, or on iTunes or Spotify.

You can also learn more about my coaching offerings at meredithrom.com. I support women by helping them follow their intuition, face their fears, and use their voices to be a beacon of light for others to awaken in this world. I offer business coaching for entrepreneurs, and I’m also developing a new Priestess initiation program for women feeling the call to explore spirituality and healing on the path of feminine leadership.

I published a memoir in 2017 of my travels in India: Just Be: A Search For Self-Love in IndiaIt can be found on Amazon here.

Follow along on instagram ~ @risingwomenleaders



 

The Cover of My Book (+ Tips on Birthing Your Big Dream)

REAL TALK: it's taken me six years to publish my first book.

I remember the exact spot I was in India on Mount Arunachala, the holy mountain of stillness and light, in spring 2011 right after my friend told me he thought I would write a book one day.

I sat pondering, "What would I write a book about? What would I have to say?"

At first I brushed off the idea, feeling like it would all just be too hard, but soon I imagined opening pages of the book, and saw each chapter title as a mantra, where I shared stories from my travels in India.

I imagined the words speaking of love and breakups, and the journey I set out on to find love within rather than outside of myself.

I imagined the book would speak of the sages and saints I met on my path and would bring light to the spiritual teachings that have been life-changing for me.

Then I thought, "That's not such a bad idea! Maybe I should write a book..."

Fast forward six years and I am in the final three months before my book, Just Be: A Search for Self-Love in India is released to the world.

Many of you have been following me on this journey from the Kickstarter campaign to the title change (read more about that here), to the new cover design and beyond.

But I know for many of you, this may be the first time hearing about this project.

So today I wanted to share with you the final cover design.

It will be a complete 9-month journey from when I began work with my publisher last December to when my book is released at the end of August.

And in many ways it has felt like birthing a child.

I've had to do deep spiritual work in moving through fears and doubts, as well as releasing expectations and attachments to the final outcome.

There were many, many times I almost gave up. But somehow, I kept going.

I can imagine that if you have a big dream you have been wanting to birth into the world, you have been facing some of these doubts and challenges that naturally come up along the way.

I invite you to reconnect to your intention in birthing that dream - what do you hope to gain from it?

Throughout the whole book-birthing process I reminded myself of 3 simple intentions:

  • I desire to learn about how to write and publish a book

  • I long to honor this divinely guided idea (that felt like it chose me and asked me to birth it)

  • I hope to help even just 1 person through the stories and teachings that are shared in it

When I reconnected to these intentions again and again, it always felt so much easier to take the next step.

So, what dream are you holding in your heart that you are ready to birth into the world? If you feel called to share with us, let us know in the comments below.

And you know what? It's totally OKAY if it takes YEARS longer than you ever thought it would to birth your dream...

I am cheering you on from the sidelines because from my experience, I can tell you it feels pretty awesome when you finally get there. 

With love, 
Meredith

P.S. And I couldn't have done it without an amazing video and kickstarter strategy from StartMotionMEDIA.

Are Your Desires Making You Miserable?

 


Lately I've been thinking a lot about the difference between desire and attachment...

When I was on a ten day silent meditation retreat over the holidays, I began to see how my mind would obsess over the same desires over and over again. (Mostly about achieving more, doing more, having more...)

It became crystal clear that those desires - that had once been born out of pure innocence - had become attachments and they were causing me suffering. 

In a moment of realization in meditation, on Christmas Day, when I had been feeling quite a lot of pain in my body, I broke down in tears, realizing I had been creating the cause of my own suffering by focusing so much on what I didn't have, and what was not in my present moment reality.

So I did what I could to clear those attachments away. I focused on what was happening in my body and breath and released the need for anything to be different than it already was.

An image flashed in my mind of myself being completely stripped down to simple clothes and a shaved head, meditating - settling into a state of stillness and total presence. 

From this state of complete patience, self-lessness and letting go, a ground zero of sorts, I asked myself what was really important to me - and the answer was so simple: time in beautiful natural environments with my beloved, singing and being a teacher and mentor, walks in the back field with my cat, Quan Yin, and going out to dinner with friends. That was it... 

From that day forward in the retreat, meditation became so much easier. Pain began to lift on my body, and in the times when it came back, my relationship to it was completely different. I had developed a patience that hadn't been there before. I allowed the sensations to be there, the thoughts to be there, witnessing, knowing at some point they would pass, and they always did. 

Carrying these insights into my life, I've found a state of more ease and gentleness.

But what about our desires? Isn't it good to have goals and ambitions? I think it is good to have desires, goals and ambitions, but when we find ourselves suffering from those desires, it's time to ask if we have become attached.

It has been a great relief for me to enjoy life (and all that I already have) from a place of nonattachment - allowing everything to just be as it is.

I can't say I've figured it all out, and sometimes those old attachments linger back into my mind, but that's when I come back to my meditation practice, noticing the sensations and breath, and remembering all that is real and perfect in this moment.

To hear more about this topic, listen to my latest podcast where I share the introduction of my book due to release this summer. If you missed my last email, you'll hear all about the new title, Just Be: A Search for Self-Love in India. And, if this message resonates with you, I'd love to hear in the comments.

With love, 
 Meredith

 

026 | Announcing a New Title for My Book + A Bonus Reading

 
IMG_8297.JPG

I wanted to share an update on what's happening with the book I wrote of my travels in India! After raising over ten thousand dollars in the Kickstarter campaign last Fall to publish it, I got right to work with my publishing team.  

Right now the manuscript is being copyedited, the official release date is August 22, 2017 and Kickstarter supporters should receive their early copy in July. 

After much contemplation, research, and discussion with my publishing team and kickstarter supporters, I have decided to change the title of my book from Synchronicity to Just Be: A Search for Self-love in India.

After my publisher approached me with the suggestion to find a title that was more direct, short, and to the point…something that would immediately speak to what the reader would be able to take away from reading this book, I began to tune into the total stillness and wisdom of my heart and asked the universe to send me a sign. (To hear the full story and hear the introduction of the book, listen to today's podcast episode)

When I was asked to "look at where my attachments lay" and make a decision that was best for the book I laughed to myself, because literally the last sentence I had written in my book was, "If I was able to release my attachments to the outcome, I knew everything would fall into place…"

Soon after, I found myself recording a podcast interview with Achintya Devi, an amazing woman in the world of women's spirituality and empowerment, and we began having technical difficulties - getting disconnected, coming on the line but using different links, about 15 - 20 minutes passed while we were just trying to begin the interview…

Frustrated, I found myself saying a new mantra over and over in my mind without realizing it, "Just be. Just be. Just be." Within a moment Achintya came on the line, and we recorded a powerful interview to close out the year.

Just Be happened to be one of the titles I was considering for the book, and in that moment, I knew this was the sign I was asking for.

Very little will actually change in the content of the book - I still share of synchronistic events and happenstance, but I’m seeing how synchronicity fits in as a natural side-effect when we tap into a space of “just being…”, releasing our attachments, and allowing the events of the universe to unfold magically around us…

I am feeling ever-more resonant with this new title and direction. After reading through the book last week, I saw how present the theme of “just being” is shared throughout. It just took having an outside perspective to point this out to me.

I believe the message of just being is so relevant and needed at this time - in a world so focused on achieving and doing…

This belief was affirmed to me a couple weeks ago when I received an email from one of my readers, Clare. She wrote in response to a newsletter I sent about letting go of goals and action plans for this year, and rather asking how we can bring more love, gentleness and service to every moment:

“When your email came in, I was initially afraid to open it, I was afraid that I was going to see yet another mention about New Year resolutions which would in turn make me feel shitty about the lack of my own. I had already seen plenty, and I was just about done feeling bad.

I opened your email, and it was the comforting hug that I needed, to remind me of that whisper in my heart that told me to spend more time nurturing myself, taking better care of myself.

After your email, I continued having similar signs pop up everywhere -- telling me that it's ok not to have everything figured out, and it's ok to take it slow. To JUST BE.”

I've been thinking more about what I want for the woman I wrote this book for…and I truly want her to experience what it is to just be...

...To fully accept herself as she is… And from that place of presence, self-love and acceptance… to follow her dreams and experience deep connection and synchronicity… but from a place of truly tuning in, and first finding stillness and silence, and listening to her heart.

After all of this I went into a 10-day silent meditation retreat, where I watched the busy-ness of my mind and found myself coming back again and again to this new mantra, "Just Be" and knew I was being guided to change the title.

My wish is for you to have an open heart and mind, and see how this mantra, “just be,” may come to play in your life…

This whole experience has really shown me the power of releasing my attachments. And how very often when we release those attachments, we end up with a solution that is even more in alignment. Who knew the process of publishing a book full with spiritual lessons would be so full of…spiritual lessons…? :)

What’s the latest update with the book now? We are putting final touches on a whole new cover - something that encompasses the magic and colors of India and the theme and message of just being…so stay tuned.

I’m so grateful for all of you. Thank you all for bearing witness to this journey. I hope you enjoy today's show.

With love, 

 Meredith

P.S. Congratulations to "Ksenia" and "Jokerofthenines" for winning the New Year Giveaway! I loved reading all of your podcast reviews and am so grateful for the time you took to share your stories. "Ksenia" and "Jokerofthenines" can email [email protected] to schedule your free coaching session. If you'd still like to write a review for Rising Women Leaders please do so here.