019 | The Power of Self-Love with Meredith Rom

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On Friday I made an instagram post for the women in my community who I knew were feeling the energies of what is happening at Standing Rock.

As sensitive beings, we can so easily pick up on the emotions in the air around what is happening to our Mother Earth as well as the anger and emotions from the tribes protecting their water.  

I wrote this message as a reminder that we are all doing our part to heal the collective...as I believe how we treat ourselves is a valid place to start in healing our world.   (Scroll to the bottom of this message to read the full post).

And today I have a new podcast for you, on the power of self-love. 

To me, self-love is about knowing how to show up for ourselves when challenges and difficulties arise.  When we create that foundation of self-love, that's when we can live beyond our fears and fully share our gifts with the world, knowing that no matter what happens, we will be okay. 

In many ways, it's much easier to do acts of self-care like yoga practice, meditation, and healthy eating when everything is going smoothly...

But if you can call upon these acts in times of challenge?  That is where the real work comes in.

What I share in the podcast, is a talk I wrote under the guidance of KC Baker this summer as part of her speechwriting course.  (If you are planning to join me for my Celebration event, Yin Yoga, Tea & Book Reading, you may like to wait to hear it in person there.)

I share the story of one of my greatest challenges, where the world felt like it was falling apart, and instead of becoming a victim to my circumstances, I chose love, awareness and forgiveness.  I also write about this experience in detail in my book, Synchronicity.

That single choice made in a moment of complete distress, went on to dramatically alter the course of my life. 

Learning how to hold myself with unconditional love allowed me to find a deep forgiveness and truly love others without conditions. 

Choosing to love and forgive is not always easy, I know.  But I believe it is a true path to miracles.  I hope my story will inspire you in your own path of self-love and forgiveness.

There are only 4 days left to pre-order your early copy of Synchronicity and donate to the Kickstarter campaign (special thanks for how StartMotionMEDIA produced my video.  We are so close to reaching the goal!  Check out all the latest stats and make a contribution right here.

With love, 
Meredith

P.S. In the podcast I reference one of my past podcasts, "Fall in Love with Yourself" that includes all my favorite self-care tips.  You can find that right here.

Thank you @theessenceoracle For this beautiful image, via @daniellebertoia

Sister, I want you to know you are doing your part. 

By healing your own psyche, you are altering the collective consciousness. 
By loving yourself, you are healing the collective consciousness. 
I believe how we as a whole, are treating the world is a direct reflection of how we as a whole, are treating ourselves. 
Tearing up the Earth, using up our resources solely for financial gains, polluting the airs, polluting the waters...How many people do you see in the world today treating their own bodies this way? 
As we heal ourselves, we naturally heal the collective. 
Sister, every time you shift a thought of self-hate to self-love, you are doing your part.
Every time you show up to your yoga mat, you are doing your part. 
Every time you nourish your body, every time you meditate, every time you pray, even every time you do something that brings you joy, you are doing your part. 
I believe when we AS A WHOLE, collectively love, nurture and cherish ourselves, it will be directly reflected in how we love, nurture and cherish our Mother Earth. 

Let's rise together. 
In our prayers. 
In our devotion.
And in our ability to take small steps toward healing ourselves, healing all beings and healing the great mother who holds us all. 

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How I Married *Myself*

Last month on my birthday in Costa Rica I found myself alone in the ocean performing a ritual of marriage, to myself.  

I had just received a glorious massage and was feeling strong and embodied.  I followed my intuition to submerge myself in the water, and found myself calling in the four directions as my witness, then speaking my vows out loud.  

As soon as I finished speaking, a huge wave washed over me, and it was done.

In the days leading up to this experience, I wrote a blog post for Over the Moon Mag about "How to Marry Yourself," and was happy to have it published last month.   I invite you to check out the article and learn more about my experience below:
~
A few weeks ago, my boyfriend woke up from a dream where he was at his own wedding.  I excitedly listened to him recount the details, wondering if I was going to be in it.  “What did my dress look like? Were we on a beach? A church? In a field?” I wondered.

My daydreams were cut short when he said, “There was no bride. I was there, my family was there, but there was no bride.”

I looked at him, disappointed.

He continued, “Then I looked to the priest and I realized I was the priest. I was the groom AND the priest. I was literally, ‘marrying myself.’”

I’ve heard of self-marriage before but had never felt the call to do it myself. But after hearing this dream from my partner, I began to wonder about my own dreams of marriage.

I realized I had placed a lot of energy on waiting for that “perfect magical moment” when my boyfriend would propose to me and all of my problems would disappear. 

I realized I had placed a lot on the idea of marriage, subconsciously carrying the beliefs:

“When I’m married, then I’ll feel safe.”

“When I’m married, then I’ll be able to take bigger risks.”

“When I’m married, then I’ll feel more complete, knowing I’ve lived out this childhood dream.”

But here I found myself writing this article on the beaches of Costa Rica, a few days before my birthday, where I took myself on a self-love adventure.

I thought to myself, “If I can leave the country and treat myself to this kind of trip, why not marry myself too?”

I realized that even if I do get married one day, wouldn’t it be a good idea if my partner and I had already established a firm commitment first to ourselves?

So I sat down and wrote out my vows. 

I found a ring and created a simple ritual to perform on my birthday. 

The whole process came quite intuitively to me, so I thought I’d share the steps I used in case you feel the call to marry yourself as well…

1.  Write your Vows

Take some time to free write about what commitments you want to make to yourself.  They can be broad or specific.  I chose to keep mine very simple as I wanted to remember them easily and reference them often.  They looked a little something like this:

I vow to honor, love and value you.

I vow to help you feel safe, secure and provided for.

I vow to take care of your body with delicious, home cooked meals.

I vow to give you space to rest and play.

I vow to hold you by the hand to face your fears and encourage you every step of the way.

I vow to be present with you and to listen deeply to your needs.

I vow to live in gratitude for all you are and all you bring to my life.

I vow to love you unconditionally and hold space for your emotions.

I vow to experience the beauty and magic of life by your side.

2.  Adorn Yourself

In some cultures, adornment is seen as a spiritual practice.  I know when I take the time to beautify myself, to put on a new outfit, a little tinted lipgloss and a piece of jewelry I save for special occasions, I feel a deep sense of beauty on the inside as well as the outside. The key here is to FEEL beautiful.  Ask yourself what would that entail…

You can also think about if you want to have a special ring or piece of jewelry to symbolize your vows to yourself.  Maybe you bring new meaning to a piece you already have, or find something new to adorn yourself with.  Then whenever you look at it, you can remember the vows you promised to uphold. 

3.  Create a Ritual

Think about what kind of setting you want to be in when you share your vows.  Do you want to be alone?  Or with people who love and support you?   Do you want to be in nature?  Or in another location with special meaning? 

When you find just the right setting, take a few moments to center in.  Close your eyes and feel your breath.  Take a few moments to call in the directions, or any teachers, guides or angels you feel connected to.  If this is all new to you, you may like to call upon the support of a priestess to officiate the ceremony. 

Then, when it’s time, read your vows out loud.  You may feel more comfortable doing this alone, or in a circle of other women to be seen.  Listen to your intuition.

When you’re done, celebrate, and remember you don’t need anyone or anything outside of yourself to be whole.  It’s all already there.  Sometimes all it takes is a little intention and ritual to remember the love you already have inside.

I’d love to hear if you decide to create your own ceremony, so feel free to let me know how it goes in the comments.  <3

Permission to Be Fearless

Photo taken at Burning Man, 2015

Last month on the Winter Solstice, I was invited to sing in front of 150 people. I arrived, a little nervous, but confident in my offering. I sat with my harmonium, poised with a microphone near my mouth and my instrument. I welcomed the group into a meditation and began to sing, "Ong Namo Gurudev Namo."

I finished the song feeling proud. I did it, I thought. The moment I had been anticipating for weeks was over. I did it. The brief moment in time felt so surreal.

I realized that if I had been asked to sing in front of a group this size a year ago, I would have been terrified. Expressing myself through my voice, especially singing, has been one of life's biggest challenges and greatest gifts.

I remember struggling to introduce myself in front of a small group of people in high school and freaking out before presentations in college. I always felt like a deer in the headlights and struggled to find my breath and voice.

The fear of sharing my voice was actually what inspired me to become a yoga teacher. I remember admiring my teacher in New York, gracefully walking across the room while powerfully commanding the yogis from one pose to the next. Could I ever be like that? I thought.

I was introduced to the harmonium by another yoga teacher, Kimber Simpkins, who opened and closed every class singing with the harmonium. As I began to use my voice, I felt the vibration in my body and began to discover the sound inside me. As I watched her, confident and poised, I again asked, Could I ever be like that?

Soon after discovering Kimber's classes, I fell in love with a musician. Watching him sing so beautifully in front of a crowd brought out all the insecurities inside me.

Every time I went to watch him perform, I felt more nervous than he did. I realized this fear was telling me something: maybe it was time for me to share my voice. I then discovered this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt:

Courage is more exhilarating than fear and in the long run it is easier. We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.

I began to make small steps to face the fear. First, I started teaching yoga classes. Every time I stood in front of the room as a teacher, I became more confident in myself and my voice. Each step I took to face the fear gave me the courage to go further.

I remember the first time I sang in front of my boyfriend, terrified at what he would think. My fingers were shaking on the guitar. I had him close his eyes because I felt so exposed. It was uncomfortable, yes, but I survived, and in the end, I received praise. I felt proud of myself.

That sense of pride kept me going.

My boyfriend encouraged me to step out of my shell. One night, I asked if he would sing with me around the fire at a friend's house. I felt the nervousness arise as I held the guitar, but I sang anyway. It wasn't perfect, but again, I was praised.

A few months later, I was at a full moon ceremony to release fear. As each person spoke, I knew this was the step I needed to take again and again to develop my strength. In the ceremony, I shared the fears I carried around my voice and did the thing that scared me most: I sang with the harmonium in front of the entire group.

There I was, years later, embodying the teachers I had looked up to most.

Every time I faced my fear and shared my voice, a new door opened from the universe. Opportunities and invitations came, and my confidence grew.  Eventually, I was led to the sacred moment at the Winter Solstice to share my voice with more people than I ever had before.

Every step of the way, I was being prepared.

Every step of the way, I had to trust myself that I was ready.

Through that trust, I have seen the universe open doors for me that I am ready for. I see women all around me answering the call to rise up in their power, their divine femininity and their voice. I have answered the call and am now encouraging other women to feed the flames, discover their power and stand strong in their voices.

If you are out there and have ever felt afraid to speak up, afraid to sing, or afraid to share, know that you're not alone.  I've been there and I can tell you from my experience: when opportunity comes knocking, trust in it. The universe is only going to present you with opportunities you are ready for; you can say yes, even when there is fear.

Your voice is ready.

Deep down, you know it is.  All you have to do is say yes.

How I learned the real value of $20 (a lesson in abundance)

Last week my partner went away for the weekend and I had the house to myself.  I found myself cleaning, making plans with girlfriends, catching up on emails and projects, and taking a closer look at my finances. As I dove into my bank accounts and credit card balances, I realized on my travels I was not as mindful about money as I usually am.  I bought what I needed as I was on my tour, but instead of tracking each expense against my income, I trusted it would all work out at the end of the month.

Years ago, this was my usual relationship to money, and I often found myself perplexed about where it all went at the end of the month.

Last year, I chose to get really honest with myself about my finances.  I read countless books about investing and personal finance and made a lot of changes in how I related to my money.

However, as I looked through my expenses, I realized I had gone back into my old habits and was feeling disconnected.

Then, I lost my wallet.  

I made a purchase online, and somehow between making that purchase and leaving my house for the farmer's market, my wallet had completely disappeared.  I knew it had to be in my house because that was the last place I used it, but I literally could not find it anywhere.

It felt like the universe was telling me, "You'd better pay attention before you spend any more money!"

I searched around the house and found a $20 bill that I had earned at one of my recent kirtan performances.   I was off to meet a friend at the farmer's market and thought, "This will have to do."  I knew my partner was away for three more days and I realized, "I may only have this $20 bill until he gets back - I need to make it last."

But I thought, "How am I going to manage with only $20?"

I knew I wanted to buy dinner, flowers for my solstice gathering, and to get fresh produce for my house as well.  I had to make the most with what I had.

Before making any purchases, I carefully surveyed each of the vendors, to determine what I could afford.

What happened next was magical.  I bought lemons and oranges for less than $2, a bouquet of flowers for $5, a large samosa for $5, strawberries for $4, I even felt I could donate $2 to the man giving away art on the side of the street.

And magically, I still had $2 leftover to save.  There was nothing else I wanted or needed at the end of the market.

I left that market feeling so abundant.  I had underestimated the value of $20 and was happily surprised about how far it could go when I was spending with awareness.

I saw, when $20 is all you have, you learn to work within your means... and you can still live abundantly!

Abundance is not based on the number of dollars in your wallet or bank account, it is a state of mind. {tweet this}

When I got home, I created a map of how I could spend within my means based on what I learned at the farmer's market.  I'd like to share it with you here:

Essentials (Food, living costs, gas, etc):  45%

Fun (Flowers, clothing, house items, going out, entertainment):  25%

Health/Well-Being (Essential oils, self-care items, supplements, yoga classes):  10%

Savings (Savings towards an emergency fund, travel, and bigger ticket items like a retreat or plane ticket):  10%

Donations & Gifts (Giving money to organizations I'm passionate about, donating to fundraisers, giving gifts, and in general money to feel generous with)  :  10%

That night, with a little more searching, I found my wallet.  I felt so much gratitude for the abundance at my fingertips, and had learned a powerful lesson about mindful spending.  Since then, I have been following my new map for the income I bring in, being mindful about where and how I spend.  The universe gave me a simple, yet powerful lesson that really showed me the value of what I used to take for granted.

Now I'd like to ask you:  How is your relationship to your finances? and Where are you lacking awareness?

I challenge you to make your own healthy spending map.  

Track how much income you earn each month in a spreadsheet and map out how much you would like to spend in each area of your life.

When you take the time to really look at your income and expenses, and choose to spend mindfully, abundance will soon follow.  Feel free to let me know how it goes in the comments below!

With love,

Meredith

You're invited to #LiveYourVISION! (new video)

I'm writing from sunny New Mexico where Michael and I just arrived on our tour.  Besides leading singing workshops and yoga classes for the last few weeks, I've also been working on a project I'm excited to share with you today. But first, I have to tell you a story.

I used to struggle with a busy mind, negative thoughts, and I felt like a victim to my life circumstances.  I was constantly placing my value and worth outside of myself.  I was in a relationship where I always put my partner's needs above my own. I constantly looked for love and attention from the outside, rather than within myself.

Luckily, I found out about meditation, and over a few years learned about the law of attraction and began to quiet my mind.

But then, meditation felt like such a drag.  It was so disciplined.  I got bored and began to avoid it altogether.

It wasn't until last year I found a way to make my meditation practice enjoyable, and something I actually wanted to show up to everyday.  I was able to connect to source energy within, fill myself up with love, and become a magnet for what I wanted to attract.  

I now have a consistent meditation practice that helps me be calm when difficult situations arise, connect to love within myself before giving it to others, and receive insight on the visions I want to create for myself and the world. 

Now, I'm ready to share what I've learned.  Have you struggled to keep up a daily meditation practice?  Have you found yourself looking for love, affirmation, or attention outside yourself?

I want to help you make meditation enjoyable and sustainable.   You too can connect to an innate love within.

That's why I created the training #LiveYourVISION:  11 days of devotion to shift your thoughts, manifest your desires and live your visions.

These free resources include videos, stories, personal insights, and the most useful guided meditations that have created powerful transformation in my life.

It's all free, and it begins May 15.  When you sign up, you'll receive a magical message in your inbox each day throughout the training.  You can now watch my welcome video and sign up here! 

With love, Meredith

Do you recharge when you're alone? and how I handle parties as an introvert

Have you ever found yourself crossing the street just to avoid having small talk with someone you know?  What about hiding behind the bananas at the grocery store?

Do you feel rejuvenated after having a night alone?  Do you love having the house to yourself to recharge?

If you answered yes to these questions, you may be an introvert.

I know I am...I just spent the last 6 days at home alone while my boyfriend was in Colorado, and despite missing his presence, it was quite wonderful to have the house to myself.  I listened to music, read in my bed, and sang while I cooked.  I taught my yoga classes and saw a few friends throughout the week and spent the rest of my time alone in my house.  That was enough social interaction for me to feel totally satisfied.

I was called "shy" as a young girl, refrained from speaking up too much in school and avoided being the center of attention.  Unfortunately in our society, the "extrovert ideal" of having an outgoing and gregarious personality is often praised over being quiet or cerebral.  It was difficult for me growing up quiet and softspoken.  Sometimes I wondered what was wrong with me for simply being myself.

Luckily this year I found Susan Cain's book, Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking.  I was so relieved to discover someone researched the topic of introversion.  When I read her book I realized, I was not alone in my need to be alone.

I learned many introverted people are born that way, have a more sensitive nervous system, become overwhelmed easily by large groups and are more sensitive to public speaking.  One way to tell if you are more introverted or extroverted is to ask, "Do I feel recharged when I have time alone?  Or after being out and about with a big group of people?"

I learned being introverted is not the same thing as being shy. Many introverted people thrive on connections with others; they just prefer connecting to one or two people at a time, and need their alone time at the end of the day.  I also learned almost half the population is introverted.   So even if you aren't an introvert, you may be dating one, or have an introverted child or family member.

A great trait of being an introvert is a powerful ability listen.  I think that's why I love my new role as a health coach.  My clients feel safe to open up and tell me what is really going on in their lives.  They share their deepest fears, their biggest dreams and sometimes things they never heard themselves say before.  My clients leave the sessions feeling heard without judgement, and through my questions and listening, are able to come to new discoveries on how to reach their goals.

Susan's book helped me see the power in being quiet.  Many leaders throughout history have been introverts such as Mahatma Gandhi, Rosa Parks, Eleanor Roosevelt, Warren Buffet and Bill Gates.  This year I've embraced my softer side by teaching more yin, restorative and gentle flow yoga classes as opposed to "power vinyasa".  Living in my strengths has connected me to a new sense of power.

I've also began to speak up more as a "quiet" leader, because I realized if only extroverted people stepped up to lead (or teach yoga), the world would be quite imbalanced (and exhausting).

However, one struggle I've had as an introvert is going to parties and networking events where I don't know anyone.  I used to think I "should" attend these events and felt guilty when I chose to stay home and read a book.

But, when I let go of who I thought I had to be, I discovered I can enjoy going out and connecting with groups of people I don't know.  I even found myself telling stories and being the center of attention sometimes!

So here is what I told myself to be more courageous, step outside my comfort zone and make connections with people I don't know...

1. You can leave when you want to 

I used to think I had to stay til the end of a party.  Then I realized I was totally free to leave.  I found when I gave myself full permission to leave as soon as I felt like I reached my social capacity, I started going to more parties and events.  I didn't feel obligated to stay somewhere I felt uncomfortable and made some excellent connections by being willing to show up.

2. You don't have to drink

I remember the first time I went to a bar in San Francisco and ordered a club soda with lime at the bar instead of an alcoholic drink.  Did you know it's free?  Just because everyone else is drinking, it doesn't mean you have to.  If you find yourself ordering drink after drink at an event, ask yourself, "Do I really want to be here?"  You may be masking the little voice inside of you that just wants to go home.  Try skipping the alcohol and listen to your instincts.

3. It's okay to connect with just ONE person in the room

I used to think I had to talk to loads of people when I went to a party or networking event.  Then I realized the event would be a total success in my mind if I could just connect to ONE person.  I started looking around for someone friendly and introduced myself.  When I was in conversation with just one person, there was less pressure to "impress" and I felt like I could sink into being myself.  I skipped the small talk, asked more meaningful questions and created an authentic connection.

So where could you be a little more courageous in your life? What have you wanted to do to step outside of your comfort zone?  Is there a networking event coming up around the corner?  Or a party you've been trying to avoid?

Or do you need to take a step back from your social life and recharge with some alone time?  Let me know in the comments...

Love, Meredith

PS.  Do you know any introverts who would appreciate this post?  Share with them with one of the links below :)

How I made a CHOICE and found my calling

When I started college I had no idea what I wanted to devote my entire life to.  I knew I was passionate, artistic, ambitious and organized, but I didn't know what career to choose.

It was actually pretty daunting to have lived so long without very much choice and then be expected to make the biggest decision that would determine the course of my life at age 18. It felt crazy for me to choose a major just because I had reached that age and the time had come for me to choose.

So I started asking older and wiser people for advice about what they majored in for college and how that played out in their life.

The advice I received again and again was, "Choose based on what you love to do.  The rest will figure itself out."  Many people shared with me that what they chose to study when they were young didn't determine the rest of their life. Many also shared they wished they had chose what they loved rather than choosing out of other people's expectations for them.

I was relieved, because I had many talents and interests and simply needed more time to try them all.  I wanted to find what really felt right.  I didn't just want to prepare myself for a job, I wanted to find my calling. 

Marianne Williamson says, "A job is an exchange of energy in which you do a material task and someone provides money in exchange.  A calling, however, is an organic field of energy that emerges from the deepest aspects of who you are.  It is the fulfillment of what God has created you to be and do.

You have a calling simply because you are alive. 

You are on this earth with divine purpose: to rise to your highest creative possibility, expressing all that you are to make the universe a more beautiful place."

I felt this from a young age, that I had a calling and needed to give myself the time and space to ask and discover what it was.

It wasn't until after college I really started asking the bigger questions and had a desire to move to San Francisco.  That intuitive move led me to meet one of my very first spiritual teachers (Amma), which led me to become a yoga teacher and travel to India.

Sometimes my ego would enter and say, "You need to just get a job.  You need to get real."  But I knew my soul was bigger than that.  I did try different jobs and internships but was always called back to ask about this "something bigger."

So how did I make a choice and find my calling?

I learned to:

1. Listen to my intuition.  With each job I tried, I noticed how it felt to be doing that job.  I asked, "Do I want to be doing this for the rest of my life?"

2. Give myself time and space to ask the bigger questions without a need for an answer.  I learned the answers only come when I am ready for them.

Even though I chose a major of what I loved to do (photography), my life continued to unfold.  My own discomfort in my body, exhaustion and anxiety led me to yoga and my own healing through nutrition led me to become a health coach.

Life unfolded the path for me and with commitment to asking the bigger questions, I found the fulfillment that only living your calling can fulfill. 

So maybe you are just stepping out into life on your own and want to discover this deeper calling, or maybe you have been in a job for years and don't yet feel like you've found that larger sense of purpose...

Wherever you are in your career, remember: It's never too late to be who you were born to be. {tweet it} 

If you feel called to create the space for yourself to ask these bigger life questions, join me tonight for"Purpose" the final call in a series of three teleseminars.

I'll be sharing more of my personal insights, stories and inspiration, as well as leading a guided writing exercise for each person to open to their unique purpose.  You can sign up here to get the access code and a recording of all three calls (Magic, Power and Purpose) in your inbox.

You'll also hear more details about my upcoming group program where I will be guiding a group of women to open to their purpose and create a new vision for their life.

With love, Meredith

The third chakra: the solar plexus

Last week I noticed sensitivity in my solar plexus - the space below my chest and above my navel.  It's the place we feel "butterflies" if we are nervous, and sensitivity when this chakra ~ the Manipura ~ is not in balance.

Manipura literally means the seat of our power.  When this chakra is closed, we may have emotions of unworthiness, fear, or disempowerment arise.  If this chakra is too open we may become aggressive or too headstrong.  It is important to find balance in our chakras ~ to calm the emotions and live as our authentic selves.

The demon of the 3rd chakra is shame, and shame keeps us from living our true self desires.  I asked myself, "When were the times in my life when I felt sensitivity in this area?"  I realized it was in times of my life when I felt unworthiness.

I noticed the soreness in my solar plexus when I needed to make a phonecall I was afraid to make.  The fears were intimately connected to my solar plexus and sense of worth.  I brought breath into the space of tightness and realized that in noticing, observing and breathing into the sensations, the sensations subsided, and after I made the call despite my fear, the sensation was totally gone.

By stating affirmations now, I remind myself, "It is safe for me to be powerful,"  "It is safe for me to change my life in positive ways."

The sensations in the solar plexus, and feelings of unworthiness are an invitation to step into the places that may destabilize our power.  However:

The seat of our true power is in the willingness to be with the instability.  It is in the willingness to be with ourselves as we are.  

So the next time you feel those uncomfortable sensations, breathe into it and be willing to sit with them until they pass away.  Remind yourself of your worthiness with affirmations, and let yourself step into your dreams.