Have your palms ever broke a sweat at the thought of being the center of attention? Have you ever felt timid to share your voice? Or afraid of what would happen if you really let your true self be seen?
For much of my life I experienced intense anxiety around being seen, especially when it came to public speaking. It felt like my body would shut down in these situations, my chest would constrict and I would have trouble breathing, so as any young girl probably would, I stopped putting myself in the situations where I would have to speak or share in public.
But when I think back on this fear that I carried through high school and college, it always felt so much deeper than just the normal nerves of public speaking or being the center of attention. It was a deep visceral feeling that something terrible would happen if I really let myself step up to share in the way I was feeling called.
For the last seven years of my life have been focused on understanding and releasing this deep rooted fear. I began with beginning to teach yoga back in 2010 and then took bigger steps by joining toastmasters to give speeches in 2014. But even though I did well and even excelled in these areas, underneath I still felt a palpable fear of “I might just die if I do this."
Now, I want to write about this today because in the past few months I have noticed something big shifting for myself and others. I have continued to take steps to face my fear, showing up to interviews to talk about my book, teaching more yoga and leading events where I share my story, but it has been completely different. That visceral feeling of “something terrible is going to happen to me if I do this” hasn't been there.
At first I told myself, "Well it's because I've been spending years practicing this..." but to be totally honest, I think the real reason this deep rooted fear is lifting is because of Mary Magdalene.
I first began to learn about the truth of Mary’s life after meeting Kaia Ra at one of her book readings for The Sophia Code last year.
All I knew about Mary Magdalene growing up was that she was close to Jesus during his life, and that she was often portrayed by the Catholic church as a prostitute. I remember an image I saw of her when I was a child - she was depicted as dirty and haggard, kneeling next to Jesus to wash his feet.
But the truth is, Mary Magdalene was a Priestess. She had a very high role of anointing, and that image of touching Jesus’ feet was actually a moment where she was using sacred oils to anoint him in a highly revered act.
As I have dove into books and channeled teachings about Mary Magdalene, I have learned she was Jesus’ wife and she was a complete equal to him. She would teach beside Jesus during her lifetime. Her image was tainted after her death because the church took out many stories from the Bible that portrayed the divine feminine as a powerful force. For centuries, the feminine was suppressed.
When Jesus was crucified, there was a prophecy that there would be 2000 years of darkness, and after that time, the divine feminine would rise to restore her place again alongside the divine masculine.
This is the time we are in right now. I've read about many prophecies that after 2012 it would be the beginning of a new golden age.
Right now, a new paradigm is being midwifed by Mary Magdalene and many other ascended masters to restore the sacred feminine in our collective consciousness. And what I have been noticing in this incredible time is: it is safe for women to be powerful and share their voices.
To affirm this belief, last year our Pope declared Mary Magdalene as “the apostle of the apostles.” She has now finally been recognized by the Catholic Church as one of the highest teachers of her time, right alongside Jesus Christ.
The energy of Mary Magdalene began coming to me more and more in conversations, books, in imagery, and in my meditations. Every time I thought of her, I felt a sense of peace and ease.
Then I attended a women’s circle to learn more about Mary Magdalene. The leader of the circle told us that Mary Magdalene carried an ancient wound during her lifetime: the fear of being stoned for being visible and sharing her voice. She said this deep rooted fear was passed down through many centuries, and that many women still feel the weight of that wound today.
Every hair on my body raised when she said this because finally I had an answer to explain my fear - I just knew I was connected to this ancient wound. I imagined myself as a High Priestess in a past life, in the lineage of Isis and Mary Magdalene, and I just knew in my bones that I had been carrying this wound that it just was not safe to be seen.
I then realized that in stepping up to be seen and share my voice now, I am healing the lineage of women who for centuries carried this same wound.
Mary Magdalene has been coming to many, many men and women in the dawn of this new age to help us birth this new paradigm. She is letting us know it is safe now. The feminine is safe now. It is safe to share our voice. It is safe to be a powerful feminine leader.
So what is being asked of us now in this time? We are being asked to restore the feminine within ourselves. To learn how to receive, to rest, and to simply be. We are learning to honor our bodies, our emotions and our sexuality as sacred. We are relearning the ways of the feminine, and by restoring these qualities within ourselves, we are doing our part on behalf of a much greater awakening.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, and to reach the bottom of this email. If you are here reading this, I imagine you may have a connection to Mary Magdalene as well, whether you know it consciously or not. I want you to know that you are safe, and she is here for you, guiding us from the higher realms.
Do you feel the shifting in this time? Do you feel called to restore the balance of our culture by honoring the sacred feminine within?
I will be sharing more teachings of Mary Magdalene as part of my upcoming program, The Sovereign Circle. There are still spaces left to join, and we begin with our first live virtual circle with the next full moon on October 4th. Reply to this email if you'd like more details, and I'll send you the program guide.
With love,
Meredith
