032 | Mindful Men Series: Money & Mindfulness with Spencer Sherman

Lately I’ve been reflecting on what it means to have “enough.” 

Last month I was lucky to sit down with a founding partner of Abacus Wealth Partners, an investment company that focuses on making the world a better place, Spencer Sherman.

I found it really interesting when he shared, “Giving and saving are two ways to tell your body and mind, ‘I have enough.’” 

Mindfulness and meditation have greatly helped me shift my relationship to money.  

I remember even just a few years ago when I had accumulated a large amount of savings, yet my mindset was solely focused on what I didn’t have. Because of that, I didn’t take a moment to reflect on everything around me. Instead I kept pushing myself. 

Now, I do my best to remind myself of what I have, with gratitude. A mantra I use often is, “I have everything I need, and I welcome so much more.”  (Thanks to Gabrielle Bernstein for that one)

Shifting my mindset around money and focusing more on generosity than on scarcity has helped me let go of the need to grasp on to the next prospective client, the bigger house, or next new item for my wardrobe.

And I have to say, it’s been so relaxing to take that pressure off. 

The funny thing is, the more I soften and rest into the trust that I have everything I need, I feel like so much more abundance is coming to me.

I’ve consciously been letting go of the grasping, the feeling of “getting the short end of the stick” and really honoring where I am at and what I have. 

It’s not an easy practice, I know, and sometimes I still get stuck in the mindset of “I don’t have enough.” So that’s why I’m excited to share with you my latest podcast episode all about Money and Mindfulness with Spencer Sherman. 

“The less attached I have been, the more ease I have found with money, the more it comes to me.” ~ Spencer Sherman

A few months ago it became clear to me that I’d like create a “Mindful Men Series”  to honor the perspective of the divine masculine and share the voices of men I see around me honoring their gifts and purpose while giving back to the world. 

After listening to the episode, I’d love to hear, what does enough look like for you? How do you cultivate a feeling of enough?  Let me know in the comments over on instagram. 

I’m also excited to share that this Fall Spencer and I are collaborating in an 8-week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction program locally in Sebastopol.

Save the date September 5, 6:30 - 9 pm at The dhyana Center for a free orientation to learn about the program.

In this episode we discuss: 

• Discovering your true net worth 
• The best day/worst day of Spencer’s life 
• The missing piece one of his clients discovered to living a joyful life after having “made it” in the financial world
• Meditation and how that has affected Spencer’s relationship to money and how he relates to clients in his business
• The first step to take to bringing more awareness to your finances 
• Abacus’ approach to wealth management and sustainable investing 
• Our upcoming course, Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (Save the date for Sept. 5 for a free orientation)
• Spencer's book, The Cure for Money Madness

I hope you enjoy today’s show. It may be just what you need to earn more money, start saving and giving, or maybe to just cultivate more peace of mind.

With love,
Meredith

P.S. Join me this coming Wednesday August 9th for my next webinar, The Art of Feminine Abundance where I’ll be sharing more about my insights on wealth, joy and abundance. Click here to sign up.

Spencer Sherman is a financial expert, public speaker, teacher and author. Spencer has taught classes and spoken to audiences across the U.S., including at Esalen and Kripalu. He has practiced meditation since 1983 and is a qualified teacher of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR). He is a founding partner of Abacus Wealth Partners, an investment company that focuses on making the world a better place. Spencer and his wife Janine live in Sebastopol, CA with their 2 children.

How I learned the real value of $20 (a lesson in abundance)

Last week my partner went away for the weekend and I had the house to myself.  I found myself cleaning, making plans with girlfriends, catching up on emails and projects, and taking a closer look at my finances. As I dove into my bank accounts and credit card balances, I realized on my travels I was not as mindful about money as I usually am.  I bought what I needed as I was on my tour, but instead of tracking each expense against my income, I trusted it would all work out at the end of the month.

Years ago, this was my usual relationship to money, and I often found myself perplexed about where it all went at the end of the month.

Last year, I chose to get really honest with myself about my finances.  I read countless books about investing and personal finance and made a lot of changes in how I related to my money.

However, as I looked through my expenses, I realized I had gone back into my old habits and was feeling disconnected.

Then, I lost my wallet.  

I made a purchase online, and somehow between making that purchase and leaving my house for the farmer's market, my wallet had completely disappeared.  I knew it had to be in my house because that was the last place I used it, but I literally could not find it anywhere.

It felt like the universe was telling me, "You'd better pay attention before you spend any more money!"

I searched around the house and found a $20 bill that I had earned at one of my recent kirtan performances.   I was off to meet a friend at the farmer's market and thought, "This will have to do."  I knew my partner was away for three more days and I realized, "I may only have this $20 bill until he gets back - I need to make it last."

But I thought, "How am I going to manage with only $20?"

I knew I wanted to buy dinner, flowers for my solstice gathering, and to get fresh produce for my house as well.  I had to make the most with what I had.

Before making any purchases, I carefully surveyed each of the vendors, to determine what I could afford.

What happened next was magical.  I bought lemons and oranges for less than $2, a bouquet of flowers for $5, a large samosa for $5, strawberries for $4, I even felt I could donate $2 to the man giving away art on the side of the street.

And magically, I still had $2 leftover to save.  There was nothing else I wanted or needed at the end of the market.

I left that market feeling so abundant.  I had underestimated the value of $20 and was happily surprised about how far it could go when I was spending with awareness.

I saw, when $20 is all you have, you learn to work within your means... and you can still live abundantly!

Abundance is not based on the number of dollars in your wallet or bank account, it is a state of mind. {tweet this}

When I got home, I created a map of how I could spend within my means based on what I learned at the farmer's market.  I'd like to share it with you here:

Essentials (Food, living costs, gas, etc):  45%

Fun (Flowers, clothing, house items, going out, entertainment):  25%

Health/Well-Being (Essential oils, self-care items, supplements, yoga classes):  10%

Savings (Savings towards an emergency fund, travel, and bigger ticket items like a retreat or plane ticket):  10%

Donations & Gifts (Giving money to organizations I'm passionate about, donating to fundraisers, giving gifts, and in general money to feel generous with)  :  10%

That night, with a little more searching, I found my wallet.  I felt so much gratitude for the abundance at my fingertips, and had learned a powerful lesson about mindful spending.  Since then, I have been following my new map for the income I bring in, being mindful about where and how I spend.  The universe gave me a simple, yet powerful lesson that really showed me the value of what I used to take for granted.

Now I'd like to ask you:  How is your relationship to your finances? and Where are you lacking awareness?

I challenge you to make your own healthy spending map.  

Track how much income you earn each month in a spreadsheet and map out how much you would like to spend in each area of your life.

When you take the time to really look at your income and expenses, and choose to spend mindfully, abundance will soon follow.  Feel free to let me know how it goes in the comments below!

With love,

Meredith

Do You Value Yourself?

I just came back from an amazing weekend retreat, Live Free, a weekend designed for ambitious women ready to step into the good life by creating the lifestyle and success they've always wanted. We were coached and workshopped on everything from achieving our business goals and desires to how to make girlfriends, learn time mastery skills, and find the balance between hustle and flow all without sacrificing the time for self-care.

A common theme that kept coming up for me throughout the weekend was value.  It was a big investment for me to even be at the retreat.

One year ago, it would have never been something I would consider going to.  However, I've discovered, the investments I've made in my personal and business growth were the investments that paid off the most.

One day this weekend we were asked to journal about, "What isn't working in your life?"  In my writing, I realized in the past, I had been placing my value outside of myself.

I had the idea, I'll be valuable when: 

• I get married.
• I earn a six figure income.
• I sign on the next client.
• I buy a house of my own.

Even though I mentally knew my value, it didn't fully click for me until this weekend.

I used to be so afraid to invest in myself.  I was waiting to be validated from the outside world first. I was waiting for my value to be shown to me before I knew that I was worth it.

Then this year I began to see:

"No one else will ever value you more than you value yourself." - Kate Northrup  {tweet it} 

So today I simply want to tell you, your value is not based on how much money you make, how many clients you have, what you own, who you're in a relationship with, or where you live.

You are valuable no matter what.  Your value is inherent.

Say the affirmation out loud:  I am valuable no matter what.  

When you stop placing your value on the outside world and deeply connect to the value inherent in yourself, the outside world will in turn, reflect that.

Wednesday, October 29, I'll be talking more about this topic and I'll be giving key exercises on how to OWN YOUR VALUE. If you feel called to explore this idea further, I invite you to join the free series, "Financial Alchemy: 3 calls to create a money mindset."  

The first call is Wednesday, October 29 at 5 pm...and if you make it live, there will be time for questions and coaching at the end.

Love, Meredith

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About the Author:

Meredith Rom believes in the power of self-love, gratitude, and vision to create a life of magic. She is a women’s empowerment coach, yoga teacher, and author.

How I got real with my money

This year I got real with my money. I was lucky to have enough money from family during college, and had savings to travel with after school, but it wasn't until this year, in January 2014 that I made a commitment to start reaching my income goals.

I had been living in the angst of "Why am I not earning what I need?"  "Where do I even start?" and "How can I ever pay my rent as a yoga teacher??" 

I have always spent time taking care of myself through yoga, healthy eating, rest, and drinking lots of water, but when it came to my finances, I ignored them.  

I rarely opened my credit card statements to read through the transactions, didn't look at my bank accounts except for when I took money out, I spent money freely, and hoped it would all just "work out" at the end of the month.  Living this way added a lot of stress to my life - especially when things didn't "work out" and I had to use my savings or money from my parents.

After months of living in that game - I felt pretty crappy.  I felt bad that I wasn't financially supporting myself, and that I couldn't live within the means of the money I was earning.  What I began to see was:

Looking at your finances is just another form of self-care.

As yoga teachers, healers and coaches, sometimes we think we need to offer our gifts for free or donation-based in order to be of service.  However:

You need to earn a good income to continue doing your great work.  {tweet it}

If you're not able to pay your bills at the end of the month, and you have to go back to finding another job, you are not honoring your gifts, or the people who are coming to you for them.

What I've learned is:

If we choose to ignore our finances waiting for everything to “work out” then we:

• limit our potential
• our impact
• our ability to retire one day
• we’ll probably always have to rely on other people and
• we take away our freedom to make empowering choices for ourselves

BUT...

If we choose to take our finances into our own hands:  we can live a life with:

• freedom
• empowerment and
• we can focus on how we want to give back and be of service to the world

This year I invested in myself in ways I never had before:  I hired a coach, a photographer, and a web designer, I attended Marie Forleo's B-school, and I went on my first retreat.  Every time I invested in my education and my business, I gained back huge amounts of knowledge (and income) in return.

In April of this year, I began meeting the monthly income goals I had never been able to meet before.  I led my first group coaching program, I consistently gained new clients in my private practice and I even saved enough money to go on a trip to Hawaii.

I've been talking to other women, and clients who are in a similar position I was in: taking steps to take better care of themselves, but looking the other way when it comes to their finances.  So, I decided to lead a teleclass series on this topic, to share all I've learned with you.  I'm calling it, "Financial Alchemy:  3 Calls to Create a Money Mindset." 

In this series of 3 free calls I'll be sharing: 

• Practical tools to track income and expenses
• How to create a budget and save more money
• How to spend with awareness
• How to know and own your value AND
• Alchemical tips to earn more income in service to your passions

The first call is Wednesday, October 29 at 5 pm PST. You can sign up to receive the call info and recordings here.

Love, Meredith

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About the Author:

Meredith Rom is passionate about empowering women to embody their Divine Feminine presence and rise to new levels of financial abundance.  She works with women one=on-one and in groups through yoga, online programs and writing

On money and miracles

I've been reading this book: The Law of Divine Compensation by Marianne Williamson.

The wisdom of this book has been finding its way into my yoga classes, so I thought I would share some of my insights here.

One of the first lessons in the book is, when bad things happen, remind yourself, "I can absorb the loss," let go, and move on.

The day after I read this lesson, I got a parking ticket.  Not just some $15 parking ticket, but a $48 parking ticket.  That's almost fifty dollars!  I very well knew to move my car, but absentmindedly forgot.

Before reading this book, I would have made myself feel pretty bad about it.  But that day, something in me shifted and I said to myself, "I can absorb the loss."

I paid the ticket, and I moved on with my life.  I didn't let guilt build up or let my inner critic say negative things inside my mind.

Marianne reminds us that only love is real.  When bad things happen, whether or not you attracted them into your life, you can always realign yourself back with love to keep attracting more of what's good.  However, if we hold on to the pain, the anger, and the negative emotions, we block our next miracle to make things right.

That same week, 4 of my yoga classes doubled in size, and I signed on a new client for health coaching.  It was like the universe saw the loss, recognized my shift in consciousness and immediately realigned to make up for it (and some)!

The second insight that stayed with me was about forgiveness.  Forgiveness - especially to those we have worked with in the past is so crucial to clear our money consciousness.  Marianne suggests imagining a long line of people you are working with, or have worked with before and bow before every person standing in the line.

"Within your heart, bless, apologize, and forgive wherever necessary.  And complete forgiveness is necessary, if we're to attract and produce miracles."

Then she suggests creating another line of people:  everyone you're working with or could be working with now.  Again, inwardly, bow before the spirit of each one.  "Acknowledge their gifts and thank them for what they have done for you.  Fill your heart with an attitude of appreciation.  Pray to be a vessel of love that invokes their fulfillment and joy.  Pray that your energy expands to such an extent that it would be natural for you to find yourself in a room with such people, working and creating with them."

I did this exercise one night as I was falling asleep, and imagined funnelling love to the person I want to work with most in my life.  I prayed to be a vessel of greater good in that person's life.  Even though it seemed like an impossible fate - the next morning she called me.

I share this to remind you, miracles are real.  When you release negativity and shift your consciousness to align with love, and believe that only love is real, the universe will open to you and all you need will be provided.

The thing is, It won't always look exactly how you imagined it.  "God's promise is not that we will always get what we want.  It's that in all things love will ultimately prevail."

We must let go our attachment to form to realize form is limited, but spirit is not.  The universe is not invested in exactly what you want, but it is invested in your enlightenment.  When we let go of form, we often realize we are fine without it, which then either attracts it or something even better.

Whatever blocks are in the way of you achieving the life you want to live and the financial abundance you want to have, are in your mind.

As Marianne says, "Seek to remove your barriers to love, and miracles will replace them."

In deep gratitude for this work. ~ Meredith