Ritual for Pregnancy Loss
If you’re just arriving here, you’re invited to read the Maiden to Mother series in sequence: Introduction, Preconception, Conception, When Conception Doesn’t Happen, Pregnancy, The Story of Inanna, My Journey of Descent, A Simple Ritual for Grief, Through Adversity We Find Our Strength, A Ritual to Make Peace with the Changes in Your Body, Rituals for a Mother Blessing Ceremony.
To enter the brave world of welcoming new life, also welcomes the possibility for loss. The workings of the womb are incredibly mysterious, spiritual and beyond our control.
To welcome new life is also to deeply surrender to a plan greater than ourselves. We don’t know what’s on the other side, who this being will be, if they will be healthy, and/or if they will make it to become a new life on Earth.
Pregnancy loss can take many forms.
For some, it is a miscarriage of a deeply wanted child.
For others, it is the complex and often tender decision to end a pregnancy.
And for some, it is the devastating loss of a baby later in pregnancy or at birth.
While these experiences are different, they can all carry grief, questions, and a need for healing.
I’ve worked with—and personally know—many women who have experienced miscarriage, preterm labor, and the layered grief that can follow an abortion. These experiences are far more common than we often speak about. (For example, about 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage).
Life and death is woven into the fabric of our lives. To be born on this plane, is to also one day know death.
I have come to believe some conceptions were never designed to go all the way to birth, but were there for deep spiritual lessons for everyone involved.
Conception is a powerful way to move karma. It brings us into clarity around what we want and need in life. It calls a relationship closer, and sometimes breaks it apart.
These souls on the other side are here to support us in our highest growth and evolution.
My Story of Miscarriage
When my daughter was 16 months old I experienced a miscarriage at 8 weeks gestation. It was an unplanned pregnancy (We made love around day 5 or 6 of my cycle and somehow this led to a conception). And yet, when we found out, my husband and I were a full yes. We put plans into motion to welcome this being.
Although it was not what I would have planned, I completely surrendered myself to a higher plan.
We decided it was time to take steps towards our dream to buy a home in Northern CA (after our winter in Colorado we knew this is where our true home needed to be).
Over the two months I was pregnant, I told my family, and a small group of women in my community.
Although I was overwhelmed by taking care of a toddler just starting to walk, was still breastfeeding, I was excited to welcome this soul. I felt a “she” energy, but never officially found out. If this pregnancy had stayed, my daughters would have been exactly two years apart, with a very similar due date in March.
Then around seven weeks some light bleeding started.
I said a prayer:
Please God, align me with whatever would be in the highest and best good for all ~ for myself, my husband and our daughter.
I made an appointment to see a doctor. She did an ultrasound and let me know there were two yolk sacs— which meant twins.
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