Through Adversity, We Find Our Strength
If you’re just arriving here, you’re invited to read the series in sequence: Introduction, Preconception, Conception, When Conception Doesn’t Happen, Pregnancy, The Story of Inanna, My Journey of Descent and A Simple Ritual for Grief
In the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I would carry my grief to the Boulder Creek. I would speak what I needed to release to the water, and then I would submerge my whole being into it.
Song to Listen to As you read, Mother of the Water, Alexa Sunshine Rose
“May anything I am holding that is no longer serving be released as I submerge myself in this water. May I my spirit and my body be cleansed, healed and purified.”
The icy water literally took my breath away. It purified me. It held my tears.
During this time I was led to an ashtanga yoga community quietly practicing together six mornings a week (it was just a block from my house).
I practiced yoga almost everyday, in community. I went on hikes and long walks. I accustomed myself to the altitude.
Slowly, as Winter turned to Spring, I formed a connection with the land, and I found my strength.
My Vedic astrology teacher Richard Powell often quotes a Taoist teaching, “A tree does not know its true strength until its branches are covered in snow in the winter.”
I was beginning to adjust to a new identity, in a new place, with fresh eyes.
Although challenging, I realized I had fully surrendered myself to be initiated.
My year in Colorado prepared me for a death and rebirth that I don’t think I would have been able to have if all my familiar comforts were around me.
In the story of Inanna, she pounds on the gates.
She longs for the initiation.
She understands that initiation is a natural part of life.
She doesn’t run away from it.
She flings herself into it.
She knows it is here to shape her into the woman she is becoming.
It is through adversity we find our strength, it is through grief we find our love, and it is through Winter that we truly appreciate the beauty of Spring.
I let life live through me in those final days of pregnancy, and I found my strength through it all.
Stay tuned for the next couple weeks where I’ll be sharing rituals for crossing the threshold into new motherhood.
Until then, sending love,
Meredith
