How to Know the Meditation is Working

The other day I arrived home to a messy house.

I’m pretty understanding when things get disorderly, but this was plain unsanitary.

The back sliding glass door was left open, food was left out on the kitchen counters, and now flies were landing on the food. In the corner I saw a paper towel on the floor, I picked it up to find cat vomit underneath it.

My usual order of business in a situation like this would be to send off a passive aggressive text to my husband, “What in the world is going on in the kitchen??”

But today I paused.

I watched the part of me that was triggered and felt disrespected. I noticed, the disgust, the voices saying this was unacceptable. Then I noticed the inner victim that wanted to clean up the entire house and then be angry at everyone for having done it. And I also watched the part of me that was calm, taking everything in.

My husband had been watching our four year old daughter for the last six hours. I had headed home excited to see them both, and also to offer my husband some relief after a full day of caregiving.

I took a moment to remember the appreciation I was feeling for him on my drive home. I had just spent the day at a yoga and meditation workshop while he had clearly had his hands full.

Instead of rattling off a text from a triggered state, I chose to act differently.

I recognized I was just as capable of cleaning up this mess as my husband was. And I was capable of doing it with love (instead of resentment).

I put the food away in the fridge. I shooed away the flies and closed the back door. Then I got down on my hands and knees and cleaned up the cat vomit. 

I saw myself in that moment choosing peace.

I decided to not make assumptions. I let myself have the thought, “He was probably trying his best.”

My husband came home with my daughter a few minutes later. I gave them both a big hug. I shared my appreciation for him for watching our daughter all day and shared how much I loved the workshop.

I decided to not even bring up the mess at all. 

In his own time he shared that in the middle of preparing food for our daughter, she had run outside. He ran after her, caring first and foremost for her safety. There wasn’t time to close the back door, put away the food or clean up the cat vomit.

They ended up walking down the street to a nearby park. He was doing the best he could in the moment. 

We continued the rest of the evening in peace.

Amidst all the voices that wanted to complain, blame and shame, I had chosen to keep the peace.

Meditation is more than being calm and peaceful in the pose.

It’s bringing the peace of meditation into our daily life. Into every interaction.

It’s being able to witness the impulse to react. And it’s choosing peace amidst whatever circumstances life brings to us.

I once heard that when the authorities came to arrest Gandhi he was completely calm, even cheerful.

He was sleeping in the corner. The police woke him up, told him he could have a few minutes to gather his belongings before bringing him to the police department. He gathered up the few belongings he had, and went along with the police men, chatting with them peacefully the whole way.

He was not the one who was a prisoner. He was free in his mind, heart, and consciousness. Even when about to be locked behind bars.

People say it’s hard to notice the changes that happen from meditation day to day. But year over year, we begin to notice the incremental shifts. How we treat others. How we treat ourselves. What thoughts are looping in our head. How we slow down, and sit with our impulses before acting on them.

Just that day my yoga teacher shared a story of being kind to a flight attendant who just announced a four hour delay for a full flight. When she got to the front of the line, hoping to change flights she started with,“I’m imagining what it must be like to be you right now, having no control over an outcome that is making so many people upset. It must be pretty hard. Are you doing ok?” The flight attendant was so shocked, she ended up coming around the desk and hugging her.

When we look at the world through someone else’s eyes, it’s easier to imagine we are all doing our best.

It was so simple, yet profound to notice my own internal shift happening before my eyes.

It helped me recognize, every moment I spend in meditation, and at the feet of my teachers, is life-changing. These moments are all contributing to my future reactions, actions and karma.

So if you’ve been struggling to know if the efforts you’ve put into meditation is working, know that it is. The shifts may be minuscule day to day. But if you keep at it, you too will have these kinds of moments.

Moments of surprising yourself in how you respond to life…

The world changes when we shift our consciousness.

Just like a candle emits light to every corner of a dark room, we too have the ability to spread light to our family, our neighborhood, our city and the world.

To be caring and kind, even in the moments that feel like it doesn’t matter.

Every moment we choose love over reactivity, we're shaping the person we're becoming.

That, to me, is the work of the priestess, becoming a living embodiment of the Divine. A vessel of love. Here to serve a shift in consciousness.

I’ve dedicated my life to this kind of spiritual evolution, and the evolution of the souls that find me. This, I believe, is how we make fundamental shifts in the world. 

If you'd like to explore this path more deeply, I'd love to invite you to my free masterclass, The Role of the Priestess in the Modern Age.

Together we'll explore what it means to cultivate this way of being and bring it into our relationships, our communities, and the world.

I’ll be sharing more stories and wisdom of what we can hold and do to make a meaningful impact in this time of awakening. 

With love,
Meredith