When I first joined a Toastmasters group I was a little taken aback at how nice everybody was to me. The other members went out of their way to get to know me, ask about my interest in improving as a speaker and make me feel at home in an environment where I felt uneasy meeting so many new people.
I felt so good leaving that first meeting that I went back again and again until I eventually joined. Sometimes I wondered what made this group so inviting to be around...
Then last week, I learned their secret: charisma.
After our meeting one of the members started telling me about the 3 most important characteristics of charismatic people. As he spoke them, it made total sense to me, "This is how these people are approaching their life, everyday," I thought.
I've been applying these principles for the last few days and it has made a huge difference in my interactions.
I feel more confident meeting new people, have less social anxiety, and am making more genuine connections. I am walking away from conversations feeling really good.
Since these have made such a difference in my life, I wanted to share them with you today so you can start having more uplifting conversations and interactions right away...
3 Characteristics of Charismatic People
1. Unrelenting Positivity
When people have the ability to see the bright side in any situation, it benefits everybody around them.
I love being around positive people because they are holding a higher vibration - a vibration that will attract more good into their lives.
Through meditation and awareness of my thoughts, I've been able to catch myself when I start going down a negative spiral. I now easily bring myself back to the moment and remember what's going right in my life and what I'm grateful for.
2. Child-like Awe and Wonder
It is a gift to see the world through a child's eyes. There is so much appreciation for the little things: the butterfly that lands on the flower, the birds singing in the morning, the warmth of the sun shining on your face.
I've been bringing more child-like awe and wonder into my life by spending time with my cat, Quan Yin. In the early evenings we've been walking into the back field together to watch the sunset. I love watching her excitement as I give her my full attention and let her lead the way. Then, when she rolls on her back, waiting for me to pet her belly, I can't help but smile in appreciation.
3. A Genuine Care For Others
I used to unconsciously worry about how I was being perceived, wondering if others were going to like me. I realize that way of thinking just took me out of the present moment and left me feeling empty after an interaction.
Now I am focusing on, "How can I make this person feel like the most important person in the room?"
It completely changes the energy.
A huge part of charisma is genuinely caring and wanting the best for other people. This shifts the energy off of me and to the person I am talking to. Since I've brought this awareness to my conversations, we both leave feeling better than before.
These principles have also affected my speaking and yoga teaching.
If I got up in front of a group and worried about what the audience was thinking of me the whole time, I would miss out on making an authentic connection, and probably leave feeling like I could have done better.
However, if I can focus on what I want to GIVE and how I want to make the people in the room FEEL, then it is always a win - win situation.
Do you ever find yourself uncomfortable in social situations or getting stuck in your head when meeting someone new?
I invite you to try out this technique this week. AND - I'd love to hear how it goes for you in the comments below.