A Hawaiian Prayer Practice for Love and Forgiveness
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Years ago I wrote an article about Ho’oponopono that still leads many people to finding me today. I wanted to revisit this topic, as it is such a powerful and simple tool we can integrate into our lives.
Forgiveness is not always easy.
It’s one thing to talk about letting go. It’s another to do it—especially when the wound is fresh, the shame is raw, or the hurt feels undeserved. Whether we’ve harmed someone else or feel harmed by them, the path to forgiveness often begins with feeling our pain.
As humans, we inevitably make mistakes. We speak before thinking, forget to follow through, act from reactivity, or miss the mark in ways that leave us, and others, hurting. And sometimes, we carry wounds that were never our fault to begin with—burdens from family, society, or history that remain with us.
So how do we begin to find peace again?
Years ago, I came across a teaching that changed my relationship with forgiveness entirely. It didn’t require the other person to change. It didn’t require me to be perfect. It simply asked me to take energetic responsibility and open my heart.
This practice is called Ho’oponopono—a simple yet profound healing process from the Hawaiian tradition.
The Power of a Few Simple Phrases
At the core of Ho’oponopono are five phrases:
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I forgive you.”
You don’t need to say them to someone else directly. You can say them in meditation, while journaling, or quietly dropping in to your heart. The energy of the practice is what creates the shift.
According to the ancient teachings of Ho’oponopono, everything you experience is in some way a reflection of your inner world. The practice invites you to take ownership of what is showing up in your life as a portal to healing.
When you take responsibility for your reaction to an event, your feelings about a person, or the way your energy may have contributed to a situation, you reclaim your power to transform it.
Healing Without Needing to Be Right
There’s a story that a psychiatrist used Ho’oponopono to help inmates in a violent Hawaiian prison. He never met the inmates in person. Instead, he sat in his office, reading their files and repeated the four phrases, over and over. Over time, the energy in the prison began to shift. The inmates became calmer. Staff began to enjoy their work again. Transformation occurred without him even meeting the prisoners in person.
This is the quiet miracle of forgiveness: it doesn’t always need a grand apology. Sometimes, it just needs one open heart willing to shift the field.
I believe in the power of energy, and when we find this state of forgiveness within, it shifts the world and people around us.
How to Begin the Practice
When you feel hurt…
When you know you’ve hurt someone else…
When you’re carrying guilt, shame, anger, or grief…
Pause.
Breathe.
Close your eyes and begin to repeat: “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you, I forgive you.”
Say it slowly. Feel each word. Repeat it as many times as needed.
You might not believe it at first. You might feel resistance. That’s okay. Keep going until something begins to soften, even slightly. You may notice a shift in your body, a sigh, a quieting of the mind. You may feel tears rise, or a sense of lightness begin to return.
This practice simply dissolves the layers that keep pain frozen in place. It is not about fixing others—it’s about freeing yourself.
A New Way Forward
Forgiveness is not about excusing what happened. It’s about choosing peace over punishment. It’s about dissolving the invisible cords that keep you bound to the pain of the past.
If you're holding tension toward yourself or someone else, or if your heart feels heavy with unspoken regret, try this simple practice. (Listen to my guided Ho’oponopono meditation on insight timer).
Because when you shift your energy, you shift what’s possible in your life.
Looking for more rituals and practices to soften the heart and restore your spirit?
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