How I handle jealousy and comparison

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I've found myself in a place of jealousy a few times in the last week.  It's not easy to be in that place of comparing yourself to another person. I was looking at other women's websites asking, "Why didn't I figure that out yet?"  or "She's doing this so much better than me!"

I began to see the negative self-talk and stopped myself in my tracks.  I remembered:

Jealousy is the biggest barrier to sisterhood.  It keeps us small.  It prevents us from seeing our own power.  And, it prevents us from focusing on the work that needs to be done.

So how do you release it?  I intuitively turned to my journal in those times, and I came up with a few steps that allowed me to release the feeling and turn it into empowerment.

Here's what to do:

1. Write out a list of everything you're jealous of about that person

Get it all out on the paper.  Be honest with yourself and purge.

2.  Turn the list into statements of affirmation

For example, turn, "She has lots of awesome girlfriends" into "I am making lots of awesome girlfriends."  Sit with it.  So often, when we are jealous or stuck in comparison, it is because that person has or is doing something we want to do.

When we feel jealousy, it is an opportunity to OWN our desires.  

3. Ask, "What would it feel like to already have it?"

When you read your new list of affirmations, ask yourself, "How does that make me feel?"  Expansive?  Powerful?  Bold? Write it down.  Then feel it in your body.

4.  Ask, "What am I grateful for?"

This is when you can step back and look at all you have done and all you do have in your life.  Then let yourself feel good about it.  

5.  Practice Metta (loving kindness) for yourself and the person you're jealous of

Metta is a meditation practice of loving kindness.  It is simply accessing the feeling of love and peace, sending it to every cell of your body and then sending it out to the person you are comparing yourself to.

6.  Use the sutra, "Tat T'vam Asi"

It means: I see myself in the other.  I see the other in myself. 

The other is just a reflection of your own infinite potential.

This sutra reminds us of what is possible.  It reminds us that all the people who trigger us are a beautiful mirror for what we need to see in ourselves. 

Jealousy can show us what is possible for our own lives.

That shift in perspective can empower us instead of making us feel small.  Jealousy shows us what is possible and pushes us to step into the next level of our purpose and our calling.

So next time those feelings of comparison, judgment, or jealousy arise, try out these steps and see if you're able to dissolve it.

With love, Meredith