3 Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Feeling Depressed

It was this week three years ago I treated myself to my first week-long yoga retreat in Costa Rica.

The retreat was lovely - I ate delicious food, practiced yoga with my teacher, and had wonderful conversations with great people.

But there was one night, near the end of the trip where I started feeling depressed. I felt really off, like something was missing. When I tuned in to feel the feeling it felt like this deep unknown hole of sadness inside of me and I had no idea what it was about.

Everything on the surface was great. I was in a beautiful tropical location. I was surrounded by loving people. I just didn’t know what it was.

Then, the next day in my yoga practice, I had a realization, “I haven’t been sharing my gifts!” A week had passed without writing a blog post, or leading a group coaching call, connecting with a client, giving a speech, singing or teaching a yoga class.

I realized the sadness that was setting in was simply a sign showing me it was time to be of service, and share my gifts.

Depression and sadness have been a real teacher for me - as a watery Pisces (my birthday is this Thursday!) - I feel a lot, and I’m sure many of you can relate.

And now I know when I start to feel this way, I can at least first ask myself, “How can I connect more deeply to my community and be of service?”

Over time I’ve discovered it’s that place of authentic sharing, space-holding and teaching, that I feel most ALIVE, JOYFUL and present in the moment.

I believe that for those of us that have a deep soul calling to be teachers, healers and space-holders in this life, we are going to start to feel pretty miserable if we are not fulfilling that mission.

Do you feel like you have a soul contract to help and uplift others? If so, jumping in and saying YES to that mission is going to deeply impact your sense of well-being.

So the next time you are feeling sad, try asking yourself these simple questions:

1. How can I share my gifts?

Find small ways to give back, right now.

• Is there a friend in need?

• A way you can start that healing practice?

• Someone you can be a coach or a guide to right now?

Sometimes we feel like we need to have it “all together” before we can start helping people.

And it’s not the case! You don’t need the perfect website. Or social media brand. Or the big email list. You can start helping people right now!

The world needs you! And the truth is:

You only need to be one small step ahead of the person you are helping.

So how can you put yourself out there? Teach that class or workshop? or reach out to someone in need? It may not look the way you thought it would at first, but the simple act of giving will bring so much joy and meaning to your life.

2. Am I balancing “input” with “output”?

While going to retreats and trainings are great (and taking time off is pretty essential to reconnect with your creative flow) if you are only signing up for trainings, courses and retreats without sharing or putting anything out into the world, it can start to feel pretty imbalanced.

I call this balancing your “input” with “output.”

How much information are you consuming on a daily basis? How many online trainings or retreats did you sign up for in the last year? And how often were you releasing content, and digesting that information into something that could be of service in the world?

I’m careful now to not take on too much “input” so I can always be in balance with how much I am releasing “output,” or creatively sharing with others.

3. What fears am I ready to face?

It’s through doing the work, that you are going to gain confidence, and it’s the work that is going to fill the void you may be feeling from not fully sharing your gifts.

And often we need to take a step before we feel ready. To take authentic action. To pick up the phone. To have the conversation. To put the workshop on the calendar. To practice the free consultation. To teach the yoga class. To have the art show. To give the speech. To write the post. To share your story….

So today I encourage you to face the fears. To put yourself out there. To help someone in need. Because the truth is, everyone benefits when we ask the simple question, “How can I be of service today?”

Want to join the conversation? In the comments I’d love to hear: How will you share your gifts this coming month?

Warmly,
Meredith

6 Practical Insights on Happiness From the Road

It's been six days on the road now - Michael and I have led four workshops together and already driven through five states. I feel myself sinking into more comfort as a teacher and a singer, gaining confidence in my own vision and voice as I teach others. Something both Michael and I have noticed since we left is that we are both really happy. There's a deep joy in our hearts as we travel from city to city. It made me wonder, "What's different now than before?"

I broke it down to what I think are six essential insights on happiness, and practical action steps you can take to find more happiness right now.

1. Seek out Community

We've been surrounded by loving, likeminded friends on every step of the journey. In each city on this trip we are being hosted by friends or friends of friends. We've had meaningful connections every step of the way. It's been different than my normal day-to-day working at home in my cottage, because I am actively seeking out and visiting my community.

Connection is an essential human need, and I can see, even as an introvert I have a large capacity for face time with people I love. It can be easy to get lost in my own world, connecting with others through the phone and the internet, but facetime with old and new friends is so key in continuing a feeling of happiness in my days.

2. Do a Random Act of Kindness

Before leaving San Francisco, Michael and I participated in the "Happiness Course" through The Art of Living. Our assignment one day was to do three random acts of kindness. It totally shifted my state of mind from thinking about myself to wondering how I could make someone else's day better. I asked, "Where can I find a homeless person to give money to?, "Where can I actively comment and engage on other people's blogs and social media?"  and "Who can I tell that I really appreciate them?"

One of the other students came back one day to say, "I bought the person behind me in line breakfast and he said, 'I just moved from the East coast and heard about things like this happening in Berkeley, but didn't believe it really would!'"

While on the road, we are being mindful of where we can be more generous and kind. From picking up the bill with a friend, to giving someone one of Michael's CD's who didn't expect it, every act of kindness has brought so much joy to my heart.

Often we wait to be generous when we have more, or forget to be kind. What simple act could you do today to make someone else's day better? Then do it, and notice how this makes you feel afterward.

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3. Look out for the magic

When you take steps outside of your comfort zone, especially while travelling, you begin to notice the magic that is all around you.

On my birthday this year, I pulled a card from my animal medicine tarot deck with the question, "What is my animal totem for the year?" It was the owl. Owl sees everything, even in the dark and is often the medicine of sorcerers and witches, those drawn to magical practices. The tarot deck said, "Pay attention to the signals and omens, owl will bring you messages through dreams and meditation."

For the last three nights, staying in the homes of three different people, there was a picture of an owl in the room.

Synchronicity is everywhere if you are on the lookout for it. Try using the affirmation, "I am awake to coincidences. I see them as messages from God."

When a synchronicity happens in my life, I immediately feel connected to the divine. I have more trust in the world around me and am able to let go of fears and sink into the joy of being guided.

4. Share your gifts

Knowing that I have workshops set up in every city I visit on this trip makes me so happy. To be in the act of service, and sharing our gifts is so satisfying. When I remember this trip isn't all about me, but that there are actually people we are here to help, I feel like I have a place in the bigger picture.

I've seen several people in tears during our workshops, touched by the music, and the space to open their voice and connect to avision for their lives and the world. We are offering an experience for others to connect to their heart by using our gifts and talents. We find that afterwards, no matter how many people showed up, we are so happy knowing we have done what we felt called to share.

5. Do what you love

Practicing yoga, teaching yoga, singing, being in the flow and visiting friends is essential to my happiness. When you give yourself permission to do what you love, everything else becomes more joyful.

When you priortize what makes you feel good, what makes you truly happy, life becomes a celebration.

What do you love? What makes you come alive? Is it the yoga class? A walk in nature? A tea date with a girlfriend? Go take action and do it.

6. Meditate

No matter how beautiful a place you find yourself in, if you don't feel good in your body and mind, it doesn't really matter.Focus within first. When you make your internal space a beautiful sanctuary, your surroundings will begin to reflect that.

When you soften around the edges, create more spaciousness and compassion within yourself, you meet difficulties that arise in life with fresh eyes. You can handle whatever comes your way.

Michael and I have meditated together every morning on this trip. We encourage each other in our practices because we know if we find love within ourselves first, we will be more kind and loving to each other.

When you take the time to process your own emotions, to be devoted to yourself, and connect to a larger vision, every action in your day becomes more clear. Intuition heightens and you know what steps to take next.

SO what will you work on to bring more happiness in your life? Will it be an act of kindness, sharing your gifts, or seeking out community? Whatever it is, I hope you take action on it right away. If you want to be held accountable, make a comment below to let me know what you'll be working on.

Our next event is a kirtan singing workshop in Boulder, CO on Wednesday April 29. Next week I'll be writing from New Mexico and Arizona as we continue our travels...

Find me on instagram @meredithrom to follow the journey day by day, as I'm posting about photos with stories from the road.

With love, Meredith

5 practices for more happiness

"What makes you happy?"

I've been thinking about this question this week.  What really makes me happy?  Before, I used to dream of beautiful beaches far away and think, "If I could live in a place like that, then I'd be happy."  

Over the last three years I have travelled far and wide, and spent time on some of the most beautiful beaches in the world, but didn't magically feel happier.  Yes, it was different and exciting for some time, but after awhile, I felt isolated.

What I missed when I was traveling was a sense of purpose.  I wasn't sharing my full self with the world.  I wasn't helping or supporting anyone with my gifts or talents.  On top of that, I was not cultivating longterm relationships because all of my friends were transient travellers.

Since being back in the States, I've realized it's not the beach that will open my heart, it's the people I help and the relationships I foster.

I wrote this list of 5 practices to bring more happiness into your life right now, wherever you are:

1. Be of Service 

When you are helping others and doing honest work in the world, it will warm your heart.  Some of my happiest moments are after teaching a yoga class.  I feel so much joy watching my students rise from savasana.  Even if I was having a bad day, showing up and being of service to my students brings me back to my purpose of what's important in life.

2. Express Gratitude 

This video explains the value of expressing gratitude in your life.  When we focus on what we do have  rather than what we don't we fill ourselves with happiness.  When we express our gratitude to the people in our life who we admire, it is scientifically proven to improve our mood, sense of well-being and connection.

3. Cultivate Relationships

Make time for the people that really matter in your life.  Be the first person to reach out to others to create new friendships.  I began making new friends at the yoga studio where I work by asking questions to the people I met in passing or in my classes.  When I became curious about the people around me, I created more relationships in my life.

4. Make Time for Spirituality

It's so easy to get burnt out when you don't make time for yourself.  A spiritual practice can be anything from 5 minutes a day of focusing on your breath, to taking a bath, to going to a class you enjoy.  My partner has developed a breathing practice he does each morning, and on the days where he doesn't make time to do it, he feels depleted.  When we take time to honor ourselves and our natural rhythms, we can be more present to those around us.

5. Be Creative

I have the opportunity to be creative in designing my classes, through my writing, and my photography.  Because of facebook and social media, I can now even receive instant feedbac when I create something and put it out into the world.  Making space to use your right brain can be so satisfying.  Try writing morning pages (3 pages of writing anything first thing in the morning), take some time to draw, play an instrument, or sing.  You can foster relationships at the same time by inviting a friend to collaborate.

So after travelling far and wide, I found myself happy after all with my cold winters and little cottage in the country.  I know I can find joy and happiness wherever I am if, first and foremost, my needs of teaching and utilizing my gifts are met first.