love over fear

107 | Doing Relationships Your Own Damn Way with Janel Vitale

 
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Witnessing Janel step into life and relationships as the most true version of herself has been an inspiration.

Janel believes that when we customize our relationships to fit our authentic needs and desires, not social expectations, we create emotional intimacy—which is real relationship security. When we open to be the most true versions of ourselves we are more likely to stay in relationships that empower us to grow with us as we evolve.

In this conversation we discuss dropping the conditioning of society, letting go of what we are told sex and relationships “should” look like and stepping into courage to become who you truly want to be in life and love.

In this episode we discussed:

  • Janel’s journey hiking the Appalachian Trail and Pacific Crest Trail and what she learned about life, love, and herself on the journey

  • Unlearning myths about sex and relationships that aren’t serving you

  • Overcoming fear and shame in intimate relationships

  • Designing your own relationship that truly fits you and whoever you’re with, regardless of social convention

  • Unconventional types of relationships that work

  • What jealousy really means when it comes up in your relationships

  • Coming out of the closet as who you really are and how Janel navigated becoming more of her true self despite fears of what others would think

  • Janel’s TikTok videos that led to 230k+ followers there

  • Empowering the youth to create relationships that fit who they truly are

  • Relationship tips during the times of Covid-19

Links in this episode:

Stay in Touch with Janel:

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Janel Vitale is a coach for shame-free relationships and sexual empowerment. Though based in the San Francisco Bay Area, her message has a wide national reach through her TikTok channel. Her passion is empowering people to overcome shame and fear in their intimate relationships to create the deep connection and fulfilling sex they crave. An expert in emotional intelligence and vulnerable communication, holds a BA in Communication from the University of Southern California and a sex & relationship coaching certification from the Somatica Institute. You can find her on TikTok, IG and YouTube @lovewithjanel and her website is lovewithjanel.com.

 

Yin Yoga to Release Fear & Anxiety

 

Develop deeper wisdom, compassion, self-love and courage through this Yin Yoga sequence that features poses to balance the Gallbladder and Kidney meridians.

Release fear, anxiety and stress in this 75 minute sequence.

To listen to music with this class, try this playlist.

Watch more Yin Yoga Videos Here.

Warmly,
Meredith

 

099 | The Gifts of This Time

 
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By this time, I imagine a lot of you are “sheltering in place” at home because of the coronavirus. Sonoma County measures went into effect last night.

Like many of you, I’ve navigated the ups, the downs and the fears of these uncertain times.  My heart is with you.  As I’ve gone through all the feelings, coming back to my center through meditation practices, I’ve begun to find the gifts of what is being asked of us right now. 

I feel on a deeper level this is the “wake up” so many of us have been praying for. The thing is, people don't often change when everything is going great. When the economy is booming, when all seems well…we just keep pushing ahead.

There have been some deep messages that have been trying to come through to many of us, but there hasn’t been space for them. We’ve been so distracted, filling up our to-do lists and schedules, traveling the world, and being around other people so often.

This is an opportunity to reflect. To empty out our schedules. To be with ourselves. To take the time to deeply listen. 

It doesn’t feel like a mistake that for years I’ve been talking about the return of the sacred feminine and in this moment we are all being asked to halt our lives, work from home, and cancel our plans.

The feminine has been waiting for us. The feminine is all about being, breathing, feeling, accepting, allowing, surrendering. 

She has been waiting for us to have a quiet enough moment to receive the messages that want to come through.  But for that, we need empty space.

For a long time our culture has put the focus and praise on productivity, despite the dwindling resources of our planet, despite the cutting down of the forests and the ill treatment of animals.

We’re being asked to slow down and reflect. What have we been doing? 

Now is an opportunity to change course. 

I invite you to ask, Where do I really want to focus my time? My energy? My resources?

Here are 8 messages I’ve received that I feel are the true gifts and invitations of this time…

Embody the Sacred Feminine 

As plans are shifting and changing and there is so much uncertainty there’s going to be a desire to distract yourself - with the news, with Netflix, with social media. 

What if instead you let yourself go to the depths of what you are feeling? 

What if you actually let yourself get bored? 

What if you saw the gift in slowing down?

When we are in a state of endless productivity, there’s no room for innovation. 

I remember a few years ago during the winter I felt the call to go inward and intentionally took a month off all social media and email. It was so liberating. New ideas and creativity were able to emerge because I gave myself the gift of empty space. I took time to take good care of my body, to eat healthy food, to meditate, breathe and surrender.

Now that we are being given an opportunity to let go and slow down, will you take it? Will you honor the essence of the feminine? Or will you carry on distracting yourself with constant information from the outside world?

Let Go of What’s Not Serving 

As I watched so many of us being asked to let go of travel plans, and events I realized that a lot of us say yes unconsciously.  Because the default has been to be out and about, gathering with others, there’s a natural momentum to keep that going. 

After I worked through my feelings of sadness around canceling and postponing events I planned on attending and hosting, I felt free to make choices from a clean slate. 

Now we have the opportunity to ask:

What hasn’t been working in my life? 

What am I ready to let go of? 

The coronavirus has been an opportunity for us to cancel and let go of things without all the stigma of letting people down. The choice is completely respected and understood. 

So what have you been holding on to? And what do you want to give yourself permission to let go of at this time?

Look For Security Within, Not Outside 

Where have you been putting your sense of security? In your retirement account? In your relationship? In your job? In essence, all is impermanent. All will arise and pass away. 

Everything in this material world is impermanent. At the end of our lives, we can’t take any of it with us - our money, our homes, our partners, our children. It is the deepest letting go. 

So where have you been placing your sense of security?  

In this times, I have discovered a deeper sense of security in myself. In my breath. In my communion with the divine. In the guiding force within my own heart.  

This time is here to shatter illusions and false senses of security and help us find more stable ground to rely on.  

…Your relationship with the divine. The love you hold for yourself. That is something that no one can take away from you.

Practice Better Boundaries 

As we have been asked to implement social distancing, avoiding hugs or hand-shaking, I’ve been reflecting on how much I’ve been unconsciously engaging in touch with others simply because of social norms. 

If I’m totally honest, I haven’t been completely comfortable with how much hugging is the social norm where I live. This has been an opportunity for me to look at what I’m really comfortable with and not comfortable with, and to speak and honor my boundaries rather than unconsciously adhere to social norms. 

It’s also been an opportunity to communicate with friends and loved ones if it doesn’t feel like the best time to see each other and engage.  

Consent is so important, and we are being asked to step into even greater integrity and alignment with each other, and also to respect other people’s wishes and boundaries without taking it personally. 

Where have you had blurry boundaries? and what boundaries do you want to implement now?

Share Your Message 

If you’ve been quietly watching on the sidelines, knowing you have something important to share, but holding back out of fear of what others will think of you, now is the time to share. 

We need to balance all the fear in the collective consciousness with light.  There are many light workers on the planet at this time, but we need all of us to be spreading our messages of hope.  The way you share it, and the people you reach will be completely unique, and it is needed. 

Now is the time to put service in front of our fear. To take the time to write, to sing, to create art, and to share it in the world.  

Where have you been hiding? What are you ready to share now? What messages are emerging through you? And how can you cultivate the courage to be seen and heard?

Simplify 

Along with letting go, this time is a powerful opportunity to simplify our lives and live with greater intention.

Here are some actions I’ve taken to simplify my life right now: 

  • I turned off notifications for instagram and facebook on my phone 

  • I committed to at least 20 min of morning meditation with Insight Timer

  • I deleted news apps and stock apps from my phone. If I need to be informed or look something up, I’ll type in “nytimes.com" into the URL instead

  • I am taking daily nature walks outside around my home, and being fully present with the sunsets 

  • I am creating space for projects that have been on the back burner (I have some new ideas for the podcast, and my partner and I are also building a sauna on the land here) 

If you have the privilege of having a home and enough food right now, allow this time to be an opportunity to come back to the simple things ~ cooking meals, spending time in nature.  Many people also do not have this privilege, so we can also think about ways we can be of service and devoting time and resources to those in need. 

Face Your Fear

So many of us have been brought up to the edge of our deepest fears in these last few weeks. Together we are moving through a great collective initiation. Think of other initiations that happen: a vision quest where someone goes for days without food or water, giving birth, one is brought right to the edge of their fear of death. Their fear of not having enough. 

The messages I’ve been receiving are that these fears are actually illusion. Death is a deep coming homeland when we are not living in fear of it we are able to experience the joy, connection and love available to us in this moment.

When we face our fears and our deepest challenges head on, we are liberated.  

I’ll say that again: When we face our fear, we are liberated from it.

Anchor into What You’re Grateful For

One of the easiest ways to raise your vibration and the collective field is to remember what you have and what you are grateful for. 

Lately I’ve been feeling grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to travel in my life. Grateful for having a home and enough food. 

Many people do not have these things. As humans we are so conditioned to focus on the negative. To see the glass half empty.  But we also have the power to change that around and to control the mind.

When you start shifting into lack and scarcity, remember what you DO have. Write a list. Let yourself feel gratitude for it.  Allow it to be authentic, real and embodied. And notice the energy shift. 

Thanks for taking the time to read this, I know it was a long one! I’m grateful for you being here, for being part of my community and I am sending you love during this challenging time. 

If you are still navigating the ups and downs of fear, I invite you to read this message I received from Mary Magdalene.  I’ve been sharing messages like this on my instagram. 

In the comments I’d love to hear, what will you implement? What did you find helpful?

With love, 

Meredith

 

Live Lead Launch Webinar with Meredith Rom

 

Update! The recording of this webinar has currently expired. Make sure you are signed up for email updates (at the bottom of this page) to be  the first to know about the next time this webinar will be offered.

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Subscribe to the Rising Women Leaders podcast


Last week I led a webinar all about how to Live, Lead and Launch as a Rising Woman Leader. 

Many of you signed up to watch the webinar but the replay was only available for a couple days afterwards and some of you have reached out to share you weren't able to watch it in that limited time. So I really sat and thought about it, and I decided to make this webinar available for you as an audio on the Rising Women Leaders podcast.

I received such positive feedback from the women who took the time to listen that I knew I wanted this information to be available to as many women as possible.

I spent so much time gathering and putting all this valuable content together in one place for you to rise as the woman and leader you know you are… so here it is now available for free for you to listen to.

Just to note: this webinar was led live over video, so there are some parts where I am doing a screen share to show you the web page of my latest course, and you can actually find all the details about that at risingwomenleaders.com. 

There are some prompts I give throughout the episode so it would be great if you had a pen and paper to write down some of the ideas and insights that come to you.

In this episode you’ll hear:

  • More about my story and why I believe it’s important for women to be sharing their gifts and their voices in the world 
  • Solutions to have more courage, share your voice, to lead with femininity ease and grace
  • The 5 mistakes I made when I launched my very first online offering and how you can avoid them
  • My 6 truths about fear and how to move through fear and self-doubt when it inevitably will arise as a feminine leader
  • The 4-step implementation process I use to design and launch successful online courses
  • All about my new offering Live, Lead and Launch that begins June 7th and includes 4 live calls for you to learn all the tools and systems you need to launch your dream online course...

Enrollment is now open until June 6th. Join us right here.

I believe the time is here for you:

To rise as the woman and leader you know you are

To stand up and share your gifts

To be spiritually AND financially empowered.

To thrive in your life's work AND do what you LOVE everyday.

To do it all in while embracing a feminine way of being and living: 

From the comfort of your own home.

On your own schedule.

From anywhere in the world… 

I hope you enjoy today’s show. 

Love, 
Meredith