Comfort zone

Lessons on alone-ness and community

 
comfort zone-self love-sisterhood

My natural tendency in life is to retreat.  To be by myself.  This has always felt most safe for me.  I savor time alone and find much comfort in it. However, this past month has really asked me to step outside of my comfort zone.  

I chose to spend a lot of time on my own earlier this month and soon learned it wasn't serving me, especially when I had some difficult emotions come up.

When that happens, I often turn to my yoga and meditation practice.  But sometimes yoga and meditation just isn't enough.  

Sometimes I need to be held in community, in friendship, and especially in sisterhood.

I sat on my couch a couple weeks ago with two dear friends and told them about how it was for me having so much time alone while my partner was away for two weeks.

One of my friends Kevin shared, "If you're only relying on one person in your life, it's like you're standing on top of a flagpole.  That's a lot of pressure on one person, especially if his or her life is calling him or her to be elsewhere." 

I imagined myself standing on top of a flagpole, shaky and worried of falling.

He continued, "However, if you become like a spider, with many legs supporting you, it's okay if one of them takes a break.  You still have seven other legs to lean on." 

When you are supported in all directions, your weight is evenly distributed.  It is so much healthier.

I think it's really easy to get swept up in relying on just one person for our emotional, physical and mental needs.

However, when we create more structures of support through friendships, therapy, coaching, healers, and especially in community, we can really thrive.

So this is what I'm working on in my life right now:  becoming the spider.  Creating those levels of support around me so my weight can always be easily distributed.

It hasn't always been easy.  I see it takes being vulnerable.  It takes reaching out even when my tendency is to retreat.  It takes stepping outside of my comfort zone and sharing all of myself. 

Through it all though, I see I need to do this for myself to uphold my vision for Rising Women Leaders.  I am creating layers of support for women to live at their highest potential.  To heal, lead, teach and rise up as their highest selves.  I am creating a safe space for women to lean on each other and feel safe in sharing who they really are. 

Have you ever found yourself swept up and leaning mostly on one person?  Did a time ever come where that person couldn't physically or emotionally be there for you?

What could you do to more evenly distribute support in your life? I'd love to hear in the comments.

There's only one more day to apply for early pricing in the Rising Women Leaders Bali Retreat.  The retreat is more than half full with an amazing group of women joining together for 7 days of yoga, self-love, sisterhood and leadership.

I will honor the $200 off pricing for all applications received before midnight today, December 1.

If you are seeking this kind of support and community in your life, I invite you to apply here. 

With love, Meredith

 

 

Are you afraid to share your voice?

 
courage-comfort zone-self expression

For years I felt a block around sharing my voice. I thought I was a terrible singer and had trouble speaking up in groups.  It's hard to say when it began, but small experiences throughout my life added up to a huge block of self-expression.  By the time I got to college, I felt so terrified of public speaking that I avoided it at all costs and would never for a second consider myself a singer.

I eventually went to a counselor at my school because I realized I couldn't live my life without speaking up, and I was ready to do what I needed to move on with my life.  However, the response the counselor gave me was not what I was expecting, "I think you should try voice lessons."

"Voice lessons?  Me?  I'm not a singer!" I thought.  He reassured me the voice teacher he knew would help me with my breath and speaking voice so I could feel confident speaking in my classes.

So, I took his advice and the next week arranged a series of lessons with Caroline, my voice teacher.  I remember so much emotion and fear came up at my first lesson.  I broke down in tears as I started to open up because I had so much self-criticism about my voice.

So, for the first month, all I worked on with Caroline was the breath.  She guided me to breathe all the way down into my lower back and fill my body with breath to strengthen my voice.  She guided me to clear out my nasal passages and expand the space inside my body for breath to move more freely.  Those lessons made a world of difference for me and laid a foundation for me to further explore my voice when I later became a yoga teacher.

In summer of 2010, I moved to San Francisco and bought a tiny ukulele.  I had done my lessons and wanted to keep using my voice.  I would shut myself in my room for hours, practicing where no one could hear.  But eventually, the ukulele led to the guitar and more songs, and I couldn't keep it all to myself, so shared a few songs with my housemates.

Then I discovered kirtan.

It was through devotional singing that I learned my voice was a tool to come into a deeper state of meditation.  As I used my breath and sang, more oxygen would fill my body and I felt a state of presence and stillness after each song.  I discovered:

When you focus on the breath and add intention from the heart, the voice becomes an expression of the soul.  {tweet it}

Since then, I've explored singing with guitar, ukulele, and most recently the harmonium.

I asked myself, "How can I share singing in a safe and exploratory way to encourage others to gain confidence using their voice?"  The answer came in a series of yoga classes with the harmonium.

If you are curious about using your voice through devotional song, I invite you to join me September 22 - November 3 for my Yin Yoga & Harmonium Series at The dhyana Center in Sebastopol.

And I would love to hear - What thoughts come up for you when you think about singing and sharing your voice?  Are you ready to break through those old fears?  I'd love to hear in the comments below.

With love, Meredith

 

 

Facing that fear will make you feel more alive. Here's how to do it.

 
courage-comfort zone-esalen

A few weeks ago I went to one of the most beautiful places in the world, Esalen Resort in Big Sur, California.  I wanted to celebrate my birthday in the most relaxed way possible.  Over my three days there, I soaked in the hot springs, received a massage, and slept a lot, but by the end of the three days, I didn't feel as great as I wanted to.  I felt more sleepy and lethargic than when I arrived!  I wondered, "Why don't I feel like my normal alive and passionate self?  Is it possible to feel too relaxed?"

It wasn't until a week later on the phone with one of my health coaching clients that I realized what was missing.  This client came to me to balance her hormones naturally.

She hadn't had a period for over a year, so we worked together to make changes in her diet and lifestyle.  Within a month her period started and she was ecstatic to have her hormones back on track. We then focused on her relationship to food, and she started feeling better both emotionally and physically.

However, at this particular session she shared, "I'm feeling so much better in my body and with my relationship to food, but I still feel like there's something missing....  I don't feel vibrant...and I don't feel as ALIVE as I'd like to."

I thought for a moment and replied, "You know, the times in my life when I feel most alive are when I face my fears.  I used to be so afraid to teach yoga.  It was one of my biggest fears, and now, every time I do it, I feel so alive and proud of myself.  Do you have anything like that in your life?" 

 

She replied, "No, I think that's it!  I need to do something that scares me!"   So I gave her an assignment that night to start thinking about what would both excite and scare her. I thought back to that weekend at Esalen and realized that was it.  I wasn't being challenged enough.  It was nice to relax and all, but I didn't feel totally alive and vibrant because I wasn't challenging myself. I realized, I need to consistently step out of my comfort zone in order to feel totally alive.  Even Eleanor Roosevelt says, “The very next thing you need to be doing is what terrifies you the most.” {tweet it} It's kind of like the universe is pointing you in that direction! So what's something that scares you?  Can you commit to facing that fear, knowing how good it will make you feel?  Or do you feel stuck and the idea of facing your fear is too overwhelming?

If you are curious about how to face your fear, and want to fully step into your power, join me tonight for my free teleseminar  at 6 pm pacific for "Power," the second class in a series of 3 free phone calls.  You'll learn 5 truths about fear, inspiration to feel the fear and do it anyway, and my 5 action steps to stop procrastinating, face your fear and move forward with your life!

You'll also hear more details about my upcoming group program where I will be guiding an intimate group of women to face their fears to make their vision a reality.

I'd love to hear your stories about facing fear below in the comments.  What is your fear?  How did you overcome it? and how did that make you feel? Share your story! Can't wait to hear from you...

Love, Meredith

_____

About the Author:

Meredith Rom believes in the power of self-love, gratitude, and vision to create a life of magic. She is a women’s empowerment coach, yoga teacher, and author.