The Missing Link I See in So Many Relationships

A few weeks ago I had a client tell me about her relationship. "He's stuck. He's not moving forward. I think he's afraid of change."

I listened and asked, "Is there anywhere in your life you feel stuck or not moving forward? Is there anywhere you are not facing your fears because of what might change?"

She replied, "Yes, I think so..." and went on to tell me about it.

Our relationships are a reflection of what we need to see in ourselves.

When things aren't going our way it is much easier to look for what's not working outside of ourselves instead of looking within.

I shared with her about a time when I felt something was "lacking" in my relationship. I was earning less than I knew I needed to at that time, and put my stress on him. I thought, "You should make more money to fix this problem!" I realized I needed to look at what was lacking in myself.

I know it's hard to make that step... I was afraid, and didn't know where to start. That's when I decided to enroll at IIN, commit to healing my blocks around money and take a closer look at my finances. That was when everything began to change.

Whenever you feel you are not "getting" something you need in your relationship, take a moment to ask, "What am I not giving to myself?"

A practice that has been so valuable for me to love myself first (rather than waiting for love and approval from the outside world) is metta meditation, or loving kindness practice.

This practice reminds me to fill myself up with my own love. It reminds me to turn to my own heart and look within before placing blame or judgement on the outside world. It reminds me to love myself first, and then send out love unconditionally to those around me.

The missing link I see, is simply self-love, and the willingness to look within ourselves, and find love there.

By loving ourselves first, we offer genuine love to others. {tweet it}